


Everything you wanted

by jjabajas



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, absolutely nothing can go wrong, aren't miyeon and shuhua just the cutest together?, i fully expect you all to be yelling at me once this fic is done lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:13:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26563411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjabajas/pseuds/jjabajas
Summary: Miyeon and Shuhua first meet on a Tinder date.—One day you wake up and you realize you’re in love. This isn’t that story.
Relationships: Cho Miyeon/Minnie Nicha Yontararak, Cho Miyeon/Yeh Shuhua, Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Comments: 349
Kudos: 301





	1. Miyeon and Shuhua first meet each other on a Tinder date

**_Chapter 1:_ **

Miyeon and Shuhua first meet each other on a Tinder date.

\------

Miyeon fiddled with her purse as she waited for her date to show up.

The maître d’ wasn’t being subtle at all with the way he was eyeing her every now and then. He thought she’d been stood up. That’s fair. She thought she’d been stood up too.

It was almost fifteen minutes past the time they’d agreed to meet, but her date hadn’t sent so much as a text to explain where they were. And Miyeon didn’t want to come off as too clingy before they’d even met. So she decided she’d just wait.

Just five more minutes and then she’d leave.

It wasn’t the end of the world and she wouldn’t act like it. When the time came, she’d thank the maître d’ for his patience, and then just walk right back out of the fancy restaurant. Then she’d walk back to the train and go home. It’s not like she’d ever have to come down this side of town again.

She was so wrapped up in her escape plans, that she almost missed the moment her date walked in. Luckily the maître d’ was actually doing his job.

“Welcome to the Maison d’Elhier madam, how may I help you?” He greeted the new guest, smiling wide to show off his very expensive veneer.

But the woman barely spared him a glance before her gaze landed on Miyeon. And then recognition filled the both of them.

Miyeon started, “You must be—”

“I’m Shuhua,” the woman finished, walking immediately to her side. Shuhua smiled in a bright manner, eyes briefly taking in the form-fitting black dress Miyeon had carefully picked out. When their eyes met again, it was obvious she approved. “And of course you’re Miyeon, right? I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”

“Not too long,” Miyeon shook her head, willing to put aside the little inconvenience if it meant their evening got off to a good start. “You look lovely.” She gestured towards Shuhua’s deep purple outfit and meant every word of it. It was more patterned and adventurous than anything she’d personally wear, but it suited the other woman’s unique appeal well.

“And you. Absolutely beautiful. Truly… I’m glad you’re the person I’m meeting, because if it wasn’t… I’d have to cancel so I could eat with you instead.”

Miyeon flushed at the compliment, not used to someone so forward. But Shuhua had already moved on as if she’d barely said anything at all. She signaled to the maître d’ that they were ready and he smoothly escorted them to a somewhat secluded corner table.

And as soon as they sat down, Miyeon felt the nerves creep in. There was some live music playing in the background—a soft piano tune—but she barely heard it. Now that she was actually here, sitting in front of Shuhua, it suddenly felt so real. Not wanting to get too in her head, she freely admitted, “I’m kind of nervous. Just a little bit.”

“Oh?” Shuhua chuckled. “Why? I’m not scary.”

“I know,” Miyeon smiled. “It’s just my first time, you know… this whole Tinder thing.”

“Well, tell me how I can help you relax.” The woman stretched her hands out across the table, face up, and gestured for Miyeon to take them. She did. “See, nothing to be nervous about.” And then Shuhua scrunched up her face into a cheeky smile, completely shattering the chic aura she naturally exuded. She was purposefully making herself look goofy and Miyeon couldn’t help but laugh at the change. “See, I’m not scary,” Shuhua quipped, shaking their arms as if to physically shake away the nerves. And it worked.

Miyeon felt ten times lighter already. She smiled in gratitude. “No, you’re not scary,” she agreed. “But you are cute.”

“Hmm, cute?” Shuhua’s head perked up as if it was the first time she’d ever been called that in her life. Further proof of her goofy charm. “I was going for cool, but cute? I’ll have to try harder then.”

“No, I think you’re just fine.”

“Ah, you’re right,” Shuhua nodded, easily changing her mind. “It’s just the first date, it’s too early to change. If cute works for you, then it works for me.” The woman had a peculiar way of speaking. Like she was stitching her thoughts together as she was speaking and couldn’t be bothered to check them once they were out. It caught Miyeon a bit off-guard, but she liked it. “I didn’t think I’d get to hold your hand this fast though,” Shuhua added with a chuckle.

Miyeon playfully pulled her hands away, but put them back when Shuhua whined at the loss of contact. “This doesn’t count,” she lightly protested.

“That’s fine.” Shuhua gave her hands one last squeeze, then released them and retreated back to her side of the table. “That’s fine. I’ll work harder so I can hold them properly next time.”

Miyeon shook her head at the whirlwind that was the other woman. She’d never met someone quite like Shuhua before. It reminded her a bit of the unpredictability of her students, but without the yelling and disregard for her wellbeing. From the moment they’d met, Shuhua had been nothing but attentive and kind. Miyeon really, really liked how it made her feel.

“You’re already doing so much, I feel like I have to step up my game,” she confessed.

“Just be yourself,” Shuhua nodded. “That’s the best Cho Miyeon, by far.”

“You don’t even know me yet.”

“Tell me then. Tell me everything about Cho Miyeon the teacher who loves dogs and likes to go on long walks. But I’m warning you right now, I already like her.” The smug look on Shuhua’s face was the icing on the cake. Like she knew just how good that line was. It was really good.

Miyeon ducked her head to hide her blush. “Ah really, you’re too much.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll keep quiet.” Shuhua zipped her mouth closed, but then she immediately unzipped it to add, “But you have to tell me about yourself or I’ll keep talking.”

“Fine, fine.” Miyeon brushed her hair behind her ears and straightened up in her seat. She could do this, she could do this. “I’m an art teacher. I do fourth, fifth and sixth grade, so my days are very… busy.”

“So you like kids.”

“I—I mean,” she stuttered. “Of course I do.”

“Just checking,” Shuhua shrugged.

“Just checking? What are you checking?” The corners of Miyeon’s lips curved up into an amused smile. “If I didn’t like kids, I wouldn’t be a teacher.”

“Me too, by the way. I like kids too. So we match—but keep talking. Don’t let me stop you.”

“Then don’t interrupt me,” Miyeon mock-glared at her. “What happened to ‘I’ll keep quiet’?”

“Ooh, is that your teacher voice? I like it.” Shuhua teased, making use of the fact that the teacher was a whole table away and couldn’t retaliate that easily.

Miyeon huffed, but it was mostly for show.

She wasn’t actually annoyed, she was having fun.

The waiter came by during the lull in their conversation—he was probably trained to be as undisruptive as possible towards the patrons—and took their drink orders.

Then, twenty minutes and almost a half a bottle of wine later, they got their first round of appetizers. Up until that point, the conversation had centered mostly around Miyeon. And as much as she liked to talk—she was a teacher, after all—she wanted to know more about Shuhua. Her profile hadn’t revealed much about her. And, if Miyeon was being honest with herself, she’d been a bit shallow with her initial interest in the other girl.

Shuhua was pretty. Ridiculously pretty. And the little bits of her life she’d seen in her pictures—her dogs, her fashionable outfits, her love of food—had been more than enough to convince the teacher. A date couldn’t hurt, right?

And now here they were, on said date, having a blast. Miyeon needed to know more if she wanted to make this more than a one-time thing.

“Your profile didn’t mention what you do, by the way.”

“I know. Keeps the mystery,” Shuhua smugly commented as she picked up a crab leg. This restaurant really was something if crab legs were their cheapest appetizer.

“I like mystery,” Miyeon allowed. “But I also want to know more about you, so… Please kindly reveal the bunny in your hat, Miss Yeh Shuhua.”

The other woman giggled at the phrasing, then nodded her head to show her willingness to comply. “No bunny. Just me,” she presented, waving a hand to gesture to herself. “Yeh Shuhua or Susan—that’s what some of my friends call me. I model sometimes and do some outreach, help out where I can.”

“Oh?” It wasn’t as clear-cut an answer as Miyeon would’ve hoped for, but she could work with it. “What kind of outreach?”

“Adoption shelters, climate change, stuff like that. I get the word out.” And then when she realized that the teacher was still a bit confused, she offered, “I can show you some pictures?”

Shuhua pulled out her phone, quickly finding the picture she wanted, then handed it over to the other girl.

It was her Instagram page, showing Shuhua under a literal dog pile, with the caption: ‘ _so many new friends!! @HighStreetDogShelter_ ’

As far as outreach went… it was really just a picture with a couple of rescue dogs at a shelter. But the real eye-opener was the number of likes the pic had gotten: 987,331. And the comments were filled with people saying they wanted to visit and how disappointed they were that the shelter was all out of rescues now.

Oh. Okay.

“You’re an influencer,” Miyeon realized.

“Well. I don’t like the word, but yeah. I guess I am.” And then the girl ducked her head, showing her first sign of embarrassment all night. “They’re for good causes,” she tried to explain.

“No, no, I think it’s great,” the teacher clarified. “I just never…” She flicked through a few more pictures and was surprised at just how many likes those had too. “I only know about them through my students. It’s a bit different in real life. But it’s great. It looks like you’re doing great things,” she finished, handing back the phone. She supposed it made sense now that she thought about it. All those outfits, all those pretty pictures on her Tinder profile.

Shuhua’s lips curved down into a slight frown. “It’s not a real job, I know. It’s just for now while I figure out what’s next.”

“That’s fair. It’s not easy to find what you want to do.”

She nodded. “How’d you find teaching?”

“Um…” Miyeon thought about it for a moment, then answered honestly, “I think I just wanted to help people. I was good at art, so that’s the route I took and… And now I’m here.”

“And you like it? You don’t want to change it?”

“Sometimes I do…” Miyeon picked at her salad. “But I guess I’m like you in that… I need to know what’s next first.” She wrinkled her nose at her odd phrasing, but pressed on. “I’m happy for now though.”

“That’s good. Me too.”

And just like that, the smile found its way back onto Shuhua’s face. The girl drained the rest of her wine, then leaned back in her chair. She fixed Miyeon with a challenging gaze and loftily said, “We talked about our jobs, children and our future.” She smirked. “Isn’t that way more than first date-level? Second maybe, or even third?”

“Is that you trying to ask me out on another date?” Miyeon grinned, shaking her head. “We haven’t even gotten our main dishes yet.”

“Do you need to eat the food to know if you want to see me again? I thought it’d be obvious by now.”

“Wow,” Miyeon laughed. “How are you so confident?”

Shuhua shrugged. “I have to be or else I’d never have a chance with someone as pretty as you. This is my self-defense.”

The teacher was once again dumbfounded at the other girl’s forwardness. But she had to admit, it was working. Without a doubt, it was filling her stomach with swarms of happy butterflies. Shuhua made her feel really, really good.

“Okay, we can do another date,” she agreed.

“Don’t change your mind once the fish comes. It looks weird, but it tastes good, I promise,” Shuhua confided, then smiled her goofy little smile once more as if to seal the deal. And how could Miyeon say no to that face?

She couldn’t.

\------

Miyeon and Shuhua don’t go on a second date until three weeks later.

\------


	2. Miyeon and Shuhua don’t go on a second date until three weeks later

**_Chapter 2:_ **

Miyeon and Shuhua don’t go on a second date until three weeks later.

\------

School was busy, busy, busy and Miyeon was doing everything in her power just to keep up.

She didn’t forget about Shuhua, but she almost wished she could.

Because every night that she was stuck grading papers and making lesson plans, she wondered what the other girl was up to. They’d had some brief communications over text, but nothing substantial really. It felt like they were stalled, just waiting for the second date to happen so they could start back up again. And maybe the fear was that they could get too attached just for it all to go nowhere. Or maybe that was only Miyeon’s fear.

In any case, she avoided texting Shuhua outside of their attempts to schedule the second date.

And maybe… maybe Miyeon checked out the other girl’s Instagram page too.

She didn’t follow her, because that felt like it might cross a line somehow. But she did keep up with what she was doing. And unlike Miyeon who was busy doing work, it looked like Shuhua was busy having fun.

The influencer was out on boats, on rooftops, in clubs, in tastefully decorated abandoned buildings. Her life looked like a series of well-lit, well-shot ads for a travel company. If the purpose was to make the viewer wish they were there, it worked.

More than anything, Miyeon wished she was with Shuhua.

The thing is, she knew she had a chance to make that happen, but she just… hadn’t. Not yet. It wasn’t all the fault of her busy job either.

“I’m going to lock the door, so don’t leave without your key again, okay?”

That voice belonged to Miyeon’s roommate of two years, Jeon Soyeon. The short blonde was a recent music grad who spent most of her nights trapped in her friend’s recording studio. This weekend she was off to another ‘song camp’ and probably wouldn’t see the light of day again until she came back Monday morning. Which is why she was reminding Miyeon not to lock herself out of the apartment while she was gone. That had only happened once, but the teasing had been constant since then.

“I hope you actually write something this time instead of just drinking all weekend.”

“Hey, that was one time.”

“Exactly,” Miyeon quipped. Then she looked up from her laptop and gave a genuine smile to her departing roommate. “Have fun.”

“I’d say ‘you too’, but…” Soyeon gestured to the mess of papers covering their coffee table. “I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come over? Just for tonight—we can hang out, let loose for a bit,” Soyeon suggested. “Minnie keeps asking about you.”

“Mm… no, I’m good.”

“You sure?”

Miyeon fixed her with an exasperated look. “Me and Minnie are never going to happen. Stop trying to set us up.”

“Okay, okay,” Soyeon held up her hands in surrender. Then she hoisted her backpack onto her shoulder and grabbed her keys. She gave Miyeon one last look. “What about that girl you were seeing? You went on that date, right?”

“Yeah, but… I don’t know.” She ducked her head. “I’ve got a lot of stuff to do, so.”

“Whatever you say, Ramyeon. See you later.”

And with that, Soyeon swept right out the door, leaving Miyeon to her misery. Was she really going to spend her Friday night like this? Home alone and trapped in never-ending work? How sad.

Shuhua probably wouldn’t be caught dead doing something like this.

And that thought is what made her pick up her phone and send a quick text to the younger girl.

**_[Miyeon 5:49 pm]_ **

_What are you doing tonight?_

She had maybe twenty seconds to start regretting it before she received a response.

**_[Shuhua 5:50 pm]_ **

_Miyeon!!!!_

_Are you curious? What I’m doing right now… smiling at my phone thinking about you :)_

_Is that too cheesy?_

Miyeon couldn’t help the large smile that filled her face.

**_[Miyeon 5:51 pm]_ **

_yes haha_

_But I think I expected it_

**_[Shuhua 5:53 pm]_ **

_I’m happy I met your expectations :)))_

_What can I do for you tonight? I’m free and it sounds like… you’re free too??_

Miyeon bit her lip and glanced around at the piles of work she still had to finish. Then she shut her laptop with a decisive snap.

**_[Miyeon 5:56 pm]_ **

_Movie night at my place?_

\------

When Miyeon had suggested the girl come over to her place, she knew what that meant.

The implications were pretty obvious.

But the teacher wasn’t trying to rush into anything, she just wanted a more lowkey date night. Though they hadn’t explicitly called this impromptu hangout a date, that was obvious too.

That’s why Miyeon had been sure to clean up the living room, put away her dishes and put on a classy blouse and jeans combo.

That’s why, when Shuhua arrived, she was similarly dressed up and holding a bouquet of red roses.

“Oh, this is so sweet,” Miyeon exclaimed as she took the flowers and let the other girl in.

“I have to be sweet, how else am I going to deserve someone as perfect as you?”

Barely a foot through the door and Shuhua was already firing on all cylinders. Miyeon playfully glared at her, but the younger girl just laughed. Even in someone else’s apartment, she was still in her element.

“You’re really something,” the teacher groused.

“Sorry, it’s just been so long since I’ve seen you.” Shuhua smiled sweetly as she wandered into the apartment. “Maybe I’m too excited.”

“That’s fine,” Miyeon shook her head and walked into the kitchen to put the flowers away. The kitchen was walled off from the living room so she was able to take a few precious moments to calm herself down. Maybe she was too excited, too. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately.”

“No. No sorries,” Shuhua called from the living room. “I’m too happy to care about sorry right now. I get to see you again—or I will once you get back in here,” she chuckled.

Miyeon acquiesced and, with a deep breath, she walked back into the living room.

Shuhua was sitting on the couch, arm raised to beckon her over. She was smiling that familiar cheeky smile, the kind that rarely appeared on her Instagram feed. It felt real, honest. It felt like it was a smile made just for Miyeon. And the sight of the smiling girl in her apartment struck a chord deep within the teacher’s heart. She wanted this.

“Come sit with me, you look tired.”

Miyeon flopped down next to Shuhua, feeling all sorts of emotions when the younger girl wrapped her arms around her and pulled her even closer.

“I’m happy you’re here,” she softly admitted.

“Me too,” Shuhua agreed, hugging her tightly. “Do you want me to put something on? Or we can just talk?”

Miyeon wrapped her arm around the other girl’s stomach, letting herself fully sink into the embrace. “Let’s watch something.”

“Okay. We can do that…” A long pause and then, “How do I turn on your TV?”

Miyeon laughed. Then she carefully extricated herself so she could find her remote. She wasn’t able to move too far away though, since Shuhua’s arms never fully let her go. But she made do.

Once the TV was on and she’d selected some random movie on Netflix, Miyeon reclined back into her new happy place. Wrapped in the warmth of Shuhua’s arms, surrounded by her simple scent. It was nice. And a thousand times better than her previous plans for the night.

But it also didn’t last too long.

Shuhua was pretty fidgety.

The younger girl’s fingers would play with the sleeve of Miyeon’s blouse, then they’d move to the ends of her hair, then they’d drift down to the protruding fabric of her jeans pocket. And then back up to the top again in a random, never-ending cycle. The first time Miyeon noticed, she looked up to try and catch Shuhua’s gaze. To try and find if she really was distracted or just idly moving. Their eyes met once and then Shuhua quickly looked away, her eyes flitting about in an obvious attempt at nonchalance.

Miyeon didn’t say anything the first time.

But then it happened again and again and finally—finally she had to say something.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Shuhua quickly responded, like she’d been caught. But caught doing what exactly?

“You keep moving. Are you uncomfortable?”

“No, how could I ever be uncomfortable in the arms of someone so beautiful?” A classic Shuhua line if Miyeon had ever heard one.

But she knew something was up. No sweet words could distract her this time.

So Miyeon sat up and paused the movie. She looked back at Shuhua, bathed under the lights of the TV, as mysteriously beautiful as ever. And in her eyes, there was something sharper than she was used to seeing. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, really. It’s just… Second date and I’m already at your place,” the younger girl remarked, keeping their eyes locked in a silent battle. Her lips quirked up as she ground out, “Feels like fourth-date level? Maybe fifth?”  
“Again with that line?”

“Again? Am I boring you already?” Shuhua blinked a few times too many when she said that. And the only reason Miyeon noticed this was because they still hadn’t looked away from each other yet. This was… “Time for me to start changing then. If you’re bored already.”

“I’m not bored,” the teacher denied, shaking her head.

“That’s good.” And then Shuhua’s smile grew, but her eyes remained the same. “You look beautiful, you know. I think you’re distracting. I think that’s why.”

Miyeon sometimes felt like following Shuhua’s train of thought was a skill in and of itself. This was one of those times. “That’s why what?”

“I have to keep reminding myself that it’s just the second date. Nothing’s wrong, but you’re beautiful. So…” Then Shuhua’s face started coming closer and Miyeon retroactively realized the turn the conversation had taken. “Don’t worry. You’re just beautiful, that’s it.”

The younger girl’s face stopped inches from her own and Miyeon felt like all the air had suddenly left her lungs. This was it, wasn’t it? This was the moment that could potentially start a relationship. If that’s where they wanted to go. If that’s what she wanted to happen.

“That’s it?”

“Yeah. I wish I had a line, but that’s it.” And that’s when Shuhua looked away. Her eyes went down, all the way down to the lips that were doing a terrible job of bringing air into Miyeon’s lungs. Terrible job. “You’re beautiful and I want to kiss you. And it’s only the second date.” The younger girl shrugged then, as if she was entirely helpless to the whims of her body. “That’s it.”

“O-oh.”

“Your roommate’s gone, right?”

“Y-yeah, she—”

Whatever words Miyeon had left were swallowed up by Shuhua’s lips pressing firmly into her own. It was over. It was all over, then. The only thing she could do was kiss back. But that was the last free thought she had—it was all over for her after that.

Even though it wasn’t her couch, Shuhua pressed her back into it like she’d done this a thousand times before. And this time was the best, it had to be. That’s how it felt for Miyeon. Like a thousand kisses had lead up to this one perfect kiss. And this was the one that Shuhua had decided to share with her.

“You never showed me your room,” Shuhua breathed out on her cheek. “Take me there?” It was a question, but it didn’t feel like it. Not with the way that Miyeon’s body moved to respond.

“Yeah. Yeah, just—yeah. I’ll show you.”

They scurried off in that vague direction, hands and lips moving more than their careless feet.

And that night was the first.

\------

Miyeon and Shuhua start dating, but break up not even 24 hours later.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand here's a little something for your weekend reading pleasure
> 
> I'm loving all the comments so far, I like how we all universally agree that these two are the literal cutest  
> let's keep thinking that for a little while longer, shall we? :)
> 
> drop your thoughts/theories below!


	3. Miyeon and Shuhua start dating, but break up not even 24 hours later

**_Chapter 3:_ **

Miyeon and Shuhua start dating, but break up not even 24 hours later.

\------

The morning after, Miyeon got her first glimpse of what dating Shuhua would be like.

The younger girl was already awake by the time the teacher finally woke up from her deep slumber.

Miyeon opened her eyes to see Shuhua lying beside her on the bed, eyes fixed unseeingly up at the ceiling. And for a moment, neither of them said anything. It gave Miyeon a chance to watch her silently and gather her thoughts. They’d had sex last night and it had been… very, very good. And Shuhua had stayed the night in her bed. She hadn’t left.

Miyeon pulled the sheets up more securely around her body and croaked out a quiet, “Morning.”

Shuhua’s eyes refocused and looked over to meet hers. Then that familiar smile showed up.

“Morning, I thought you’d never wake up.”

“I’m a late riser,” Miyeon admitted with a light blush.

“Good to know. So it’s not because I wore you out—you’re just a sleeping beauty. Got it,” Shuhua nodded.

“You—” Miyeon playfully shoved her away, then pulled her closer right after. She pinched at her sides. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“I know, I know,” the younger girl chuckled, half-heartedly bringing her hands up to defend herself. And then they fought for a moment, swatting hands away and pushing at shoulders. Until Shuhua finally decided to put an end to it. She threw an arm and half her body over Miyeon which stopped all movement from the teacher. Miyeon playfully huffed out at the new weight holding her down, but Shuhua ignored her.

Then the younger girl used her other arm to prop herself up. Admiring how flushed their morning activities had already made them. “It’s fun though, right? You’re having fun?”

Miyeon didn’t take too long to answer because the smile on her face made it obvious. “Of course.”

“Good.” Shuhua dipped down and kissed her for the first time that morning. It brought back memories of their frantic night, but ended well before it could reach the same intensity. “I want to save this. You… like this.” She moved a hand along Miyeon’s side, shifting the sheets down as she went. And then back up, lightly dragging across skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Their eyes only met again once her hand had stopped. “Can I take a picture of you?”

And at first, Miyeon felt like she’d misheard.

“You… what?”

“Just for me, don’t worry,” Shuhua quickly amended. Like that made it sound any better. “So I can remember this. I won’t upload it.”

And it took more than a few seconds for Miyeon to work herself down from her initial fear. It wasn’t a sex tape. That was the first place her mind had gone, but that was just her ignorance showing. It was just a picture. As a sort of… memento? She didn’t quite get the reasoning behind it, but she also knew she had a different view of media than an influencer like Shuhua would have. Someone who took pictures for a living probably placed a heavier importance on them than someone who only took them when her friends dragged her into it.

So, with all that in mind, Miyeon eventually agreed with a nod. “Sure. But only a couple.”

Shuhua’s face lit up with a bright smile.

She gave the teacher a quick peck in gratitude, then reached back for her phone.

And that’s how Miyeon found herself sprawled out on her bed, modestly covered by her sheets—but still with the obvious implications of sexual activities—posing for Shuhua’s camera. She tried not to freeze up and look unnatural, but it was impossible.

“It’s okay. Don’t overthink it,” the younger girl tried to loosen her up. Easier said than done.

Miyeon frowned. “I’m so awkward, sorry…”

“No, no.” Shuhua lowered her phone and looked her in the eyes to show her sincerity. Then she scrunched up her face in that familiar goofy way that always made Miyeon smile. And smile she did. “See? Just look at me, okay? Only me.”

Shuhua took a few more pictures like that, moving around for better angles, but moving her face even more to keep Miyeon entertained. And shockingly, it worked. Or, at the very least, Shuhua looked satisfied enough that she finished her impromptu photoshoot and wrapped the older girl up in a giant hug. Miyeon hugged back, feeling her heart racing for a million and one different reasons.

“You’re gorgeous, you know that?” Shuhua rasped out.

Miyeon poked her in the side instead of answering another one of her compliments. She felt too shy to speak right now. She couldn’t believe she just did that… And then Miyeon poked her again for good measure. Shuhua jumped and quickly moved to shield herself. Fearing another attack, she wrestled with Miyeon until she had completely turned her sheet-covered body around, holding her captive from behind.

“I’m ticklish,” Shuhua breathlessly admitted.

“Really?” It was beyond obvious.

“Really. So, I have to keep you here until I’m sure I’ll be safe. Will you surrender?”

Miyeon wriggled to try and free herself, but her twenty six years of zero exercise were working against her. “Never,” she giggled. But she knew she was beat.

“Fine. I’ll just have to keep you here forever,” Shuhua cutely announced, nuzzling her face into the back of her neck. Miyeon had zero complaints about that. And then the younger girl raised the phone in her hand, pointing it at the two of them this time. “Last one. The two of us together.”

Miyeon smiled at the sight of them on the screen, wrapped up in her barely-there sheets, wrapped up in each other. They looked good together. So, that’s probably why she took the phone from Shuhua and said, “This way’s better.” And she used her better positioning to take the shots.

Then she flipped around in the younger girl’s now-looser arms and pointed the camera at her. Shuhua stared back with a curious mix of emotions. Miyeon had no idea what they meant, but they gave the next shots she took a captivating aura. Maybe Shuhua was someone who could only be understood through her pictures.

“And now the tables have turned,” Miyeon hummed out with a smile. She eventually straddled Shuhua’s stomach to take a final closeup shot. It was supposed to look bad. That was the intention. But the end result was just so photoshoot-worthy, that it only made Miyeon laugh in disbelief. “You really are a model,” she remarked.

“A model is only as good as the photographer,” Shuhua quipped with a smirk.

“Oh? What does that say about my awkward pictures then?”

“Um…” Shuhua blanked out for a moment, causing them both to burst out laughing. “Don’t worry about that. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I think you’re—”

Miyeon covered the other girl’s mouth to stop her endless stream of compliments.

“You talk too much.”

“Mpff hmmf.”

“Stop. Talking.” Miyeon glared and Shuhua soon fell quiet, staring up at the person who had her hopelessly trapped. But she didn’t even try to get free. “Good.” 

And Miyeon quickly removed her hands to kiss those silent lips.

\------

Miyeon spent the rest of her Saturday doing work.

Or at least, she really, really tried to do her work. Her biggest problem was the fact that Shuhua hung around for the rest of the day as well. And, in between watching a few shows on TV, the younger girl seemed to make it her mission to distract the teacher as much as possible.

But Miyeon was surprisingly resilient.

She managed to block out her distracting partner which only lead to more pouting and more attempts at distraction. It was a vicious cycle.

But eventually, Shuhua left the apartment at around 3 in the afternoon to grab some takeout for dinner. And Miyeon should’ve used that time to get some unobstructed work done. She should’ve. Instead, she pulled out her phone and took a break.

She was only human.

Instinctively, her fingers took her to Shuhua’s Instagram page. It had become a sort of habit over the past few weeks to look at the influencer’s pics as a means of escaping the misery of her workload. Today was no different.

But the first picture she saw threw all her thoughts right out the window.

She felt her body literally freeze in place.

Because there, shared with Shuhua’s eight million plus followers, was a picture she knew all too well. And a bed she knew, too.

She had exactly one attempt at a calm thought— _at least Shuhua’s the only one in the pic_ —before the rage came suddenly and overwhelmingly.

“What the fuck?!”

How dare she? _How dare she?_

She’d promised those pics would be private and she just—just posted it for the world to see? Like it was no different from all those other shoots she posed for every day. Like it was fake. Like it wasn’t special at all.

And the caption!

The caption underneath the picture of _Shuhua_ laid out on _her_ bed read: ‘ _Be my photographer, I’ll be ur model’_

And how.

Fucking.

Dare she?

Miyeon suddenly flung her phone across the room, ignoring the loud _thunk_ of it smacking into the wall. She let out a sharp yell, trying to vent out her frustrations, but she felt even worse. She felt like—like—

She suddenly vaulted to her feet, moving like a woman possessed. She stomped to where her phone lay on the ground, a bit dented but still working. She picked it up and wanted to throw it again—but she stopped herself.

What she did do was call Shuhua.

The phone rang once, twice, _three times_ and then—

“Sorry, I was crossing the street,” the younger girl’s bright voice greeted. “I’m almost back to the apartment, what’s up?”

“You,” Miyeon nearly growled out and then hung up before she could really start yelling at the other girl. Even in her blinding rage, she knew it was a bad idea to have this talk over the phone. No, she’d wait. She’d steam and simmer and wait.

Shuhua tried calling back twice, but she ignored it both times. Slamming the reject button like it had personally offended her.

And by the time the girl finally got back, Miyeon felt like she was a perfect storm just waiting to make landfall.

Shuhua jerkily opened the door and there went the trigger.

“You couldn’t even wait to upload it, could you?” Miyeon spat out.

Shuhua froze a few steps into the apartment, arms laden with takeout bags and her face the absolute picture of surprise. “What—?”

“How long before you post the other pictures too, huh? Doesn’t matter as long as I don’t see it, right? Or did you think I’d never check your Instagram?”

And as one question after another was fired at her, Shuhua gradually started to piece together what was going on. “You’re angry at me… Why are you angry at me?” Or maybe she didn’t fully get it yet.

‘’What do you mean, why?” Miyeon’s voice suddenly jumped a few octaves, resulting in a tiny echo even in her small apartment. “You lied to me!”

“No, I didn’t,” Shuhua’s voice quickly rose to match her as she defended herself. The surprise was obviously wearing off. She moved from her spot by the door towards the kitchen, but stopped halfway to add, “I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t lie to you. I didn’t—”

“So what, you got hacked? Someone else posted that picture that _you swore you would never post_?”

“What picture?”

“Are you serious?!” Miyeon felt like she was about to explode.

“Miyeon—hang on, just stop for a second. Stop and tell me—”

“ _’Be my photographer, I’ll be your model_ ’? Does that ring a bell?”

And finally, finally Shuhua understood. Her shoulders fell with a sigh of recognition. And then in one uninterrupted motion, they quickly rose again in indignation. “That pic—Miyeon, is that why you’re so angry? Seriously?”

Or maybe she really, really, really didn’t understand anything at all. Unbelievable.

“How am I supposed to react?” Miyeon fired back. “Happy? Should I be happy that you just don’t care about my privacy or that you just—you broke your promise to me like it was nothing?” Miyeon was thankful for the coffee table that sat between them. At least there was some kind of barrier stopping her from strangling the other girl. “You don’t want me to be angry, tell me how I’m supposed to feel then!”

“I didn’t lie to you,” Shuhua heatedly insisted with furrowed brows and an annoyed look on her face. “I said I wouldn’t post your pics and I didn’t—what’s there to get angry about? That’s my face. You’re not in it at all, so what?”

“ _I’ll be your model_ ,” Miyeon mocked, disgust clear in her voice. “Be my photographer, I’ll be your—”

“And what? Because I said it to you, I can’t post it? Are you serious?”

“You can’t see what’s wrong with that?”

“Obviously not!”

“We had sex, Shuhua!” Her voice and hands flung out in frustration. She took an angry step forward, sidestepping the coffee table completely. “That’s between me and you and no one else. And things we say to each other in bed— _in the same bed we just had sex in_ —”

“Fine!” Shuhua shouted back. “I’ll change the caption if that’s what you want. No, I’ll delete it—no caption at all. Does that make you feel—”

“You really don’t fucking get it at all, do you—”

“Fine! Fine! Miyeon, you know what?” Shuhua unceremoniously dumped the takeout bags on the couch and marched over till she was toe-to-toe with the fuming girl. “I’ll delete the picture. Right now, I’ll show you—watch.” She angrily yanked her phone out of her pocket and quickly brought up the offending Instagram post in question. And with fewer clicks than it felt the moment warranted, the picture was gone. Deleted. “All this over a fucking picture. Feel better now?” Shuhua’s words were snide, nothing like the honey-filled compliments from the night before. So this was what she was really like. “A fucking picture, Miyeon.” She shook her head. “And a couple of words. You did all of this—” She mockingly gestured around the room. “For something that didn’t even take me two seconds to delete.”

A beat of silence followed those icy words.

Shuhua was taller than her. She hadn’t really realized it until that moment. Standing so close together, with nothing but their fraught gazes connecting them. That’s the tiny detail Miyeon picked out as she watched the storm pass them by. It was the only thing that was left.

Everything else had been completely destroyed.

“Get out.”

Shuhua scoffed as soon as she heard it, shaking her head in astonishment. “I can’t believe—”

“Get out of my apartment. Now.” Miyeon roughly brushed by her shoulder, storming off to the kitchen.

“Miyeon,” Shuhua called out. But she didn’t follow her. She was smarter than that. “Miyeon.”

The teacher grabbed the bouquet of roses from the night before and practically hurled it at Shuhua when she got back to the living room.

The younger girl caught them, but still refused to move. “You weren’t even in the pict—”

“You want me to throw the food at you too? Get out! Leave!” Miyeon shoved her shoulder in warning, and then shoved her again. And again and again and again. It was a miracle Shuhua managed to stay on her feet. But she finally took the hint.

“Fine,” the younger girl huffed. She was practically at the door anyway, so there really was nowhere else for her to go. “You won’t listen to me, so fine. I’ll go.”

Shuhua yanked open the door.

Then she left without even a glance back at the other girl.

Miyeon slammed the door shut so loud she knew she’d be getting complaints from her neighbors later. But she didn’t care.

She was done caring today.

\------

Miyeon and Shuhua don’t talk to each other, they talk to other people.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tick... tick... tick... boom!  
> can't stay in the honeymoon period forever (or even for 24 hours lol)
> 
> whose side are you on? miyeon or shuhua?
> 
> drop your thoughts fam :)


	4. Miyeon and Shuhua don’t talk to each other, they talk to other people

**_Chapter 4:_ **

Miyeon and Shuhua don’t talk to each other, they talk to other people.

\------

Miyeon sipped at her drink, trying to fade into the background of the conversation.

It’s not like she hated Soyeon’s friends, it’s just that they weren’t really _her_ friends.

She knew them, but hadn’t yet reached the same level of closeness that dozens of ‘song camps’ together gave them. They were all musicians, in one way or another. Aspiring, struggling, music-adjacent, whatever. They did music. That’s how they’d gotten close and that’s what most of their conversations revolved around.

So, for Cho Miyeon the art teacher who only sang when she was in the shower… She didn’t fit in quite as easily.

That’s not to say that Soyeon hadn’t tried, though.

Ever since they’d gotten past that awkward initial roommate stage, the songwriter had been very keen to invite Miyeon to hang out with her friend group.

There was Soyeon herself, a music major turned avid songwriter turned aspiring producer who was always working on a dozen personal projects.

Yuqi was the singer in the group, or at least the only one who didn’t have another creative outlet besides her voice. She was also currently in law school because parental pressure was still a thing in the 21st century.

And then there was Minnie. The piano-playing musician—she was _actually_ a musician because she got paid to play at a nice bar most evenings—with a voice that had nearly gotten her a record deal. She was very… in-touch with her emotional side, was the best way to put it. Soyeon would just call her emo, but Miyeon knew Minnie didn’t like it.

No, what Minnie liked was Miyeon.

It wasn’t overly obvious—mostly just a couple of glances and soft smiles that could easily be filed under the category of ‘shy person who wants to make friends’. The biggest hint actually wasn’t how Minnie behaved, it was how Yuqi and Soyeon did.

The two would constantly try to pair them together in their outings, or inexplicably leave them alone for extended periods of time, or whisper to each other but only when they thought they weren’t looking. Minnie would sometimes try to apologize for their behavior when it got too out-of-hand. And Miyeon would always tell her not to worry about it—'you can’t choose your friends’ or something like that.

So sitting next to Minnie like she was tonight was pretty par for the course.

“How are classes? Your students still giving you a hard time?” Minnie valiantly tried to bring her back into the conversation. Soyeon and Yuqi had gotten into some argument about some obscure song lyric only they had ever heard of. But they politely turned their attention back to Miyeon when the topic changed.

“Nothing too crazy,” Miyeon deflected with a small smile, hoping that that would be the end of that. It wasn’t.

“Really? Soyeon said you’ve been pretty swamped.”

“Yeah, you missed a good song camp last weekend too,” Yuqi added. “Minnie was really sad you couldn’t make it.”

Minnie shot a glare in the singer’s direction before turning back to Miyeon. “I mean, I know it’s not really your scene or anything. Even if you weren’t busy.”

“I wanted to come,” Miyeon lied. What else could she say with the three of them looking at her like that? It was easier than trying to explain what she’d actually gotten up to that night anyway. “But yeah, I had some class stuff to get done. Maybe next time?”

“Yeah, sure.” Minnie shrugged indifferently. “Whenever you want, that’d be cool…” And then the girl drained the last of her rum and coke. It was really just ice at that point. But it was obvious that she just wanted an excuse to stop talking.

Miyeon knew the feeling.

Thankfully, Soyeon spoke up before the silence could stretch on for too long. “You should hear what Minnie wrote, Miyeon. It makes the rest of our stuff sound like kindergarten music.”

“What are you even saying—” Minnie tried to interject, but was quickly cut off.

“It’s seriously good,” Yuqi enthusiastically chimed in. “Our usual song camp stuff is okay, but this is like Shakespeare-level.”

“Shakespeare didn’t write songs, you idiot—”

“Mozart, more like. A hundred percent, I absolutely agree,” Soyeon butt in. “I would even say… good enough for a single? An EP?”

“And who’s got the time to put out an EP?” Minnie challenged with a scoff. “Who’s going to produce that?”

“Well, my friend, I thought you’d never ask,” Soyeon smirked, cracking her knuckles. The rest of the table burst out laughing at her smug expression. “So, back in the studio tomorrow morning? Bright and early?”

Minnie shook her head, chuckling. “If you’re calling my room a studio, then you’ve really lost it.”

“You know Billie Eilish made all of her music in her room—”

“Fine, fine! Shut up already, we’ll make the song.”

“And there it is!” Soyeon triumphantly declared. “Just you wait, little girl, I’m gonna make you a star.” She greasily winked to complete the act, throwing them all into another fit of laughter.

“Yeah, yeah.” Minnie brought her glass up to her lips, and it was only because Miyeon was sitting so close that she heard the pianist mutter, “I’ve heard that one before.”

It surprised her. It made her look up at the other girl as if to confirm that she’d really said it.

And then their eyes met in a charged moment. Miyeon could see that Minnie hadn’t expected anyone to hear her. Maybe if the musician were a bit more sober then she would’ve been more careful, but she wasn’t.

Miyeon looked away, but she couldn’t shake the thought that she’d intruded on something.

A friend group she didn’t belong in, a comment she shouldn’t have heard.

It was time to get another drink.

“Anyone want anything?” Miyeon asked as she slid out of their booth. Yuqi and Soyeon both eyed their half-full glasses and smartly declined. Minnie however…

“Hang on, I’ll come with you.”

And that’s how Miyeon and Minnie ended up squeezed next to each other over at the busy bar. The bartender made eye contact with them, but it would be a while before he’d get to their orders judging by the number of people clamoring for his attention.

So, they decided to wait.

And Miyeon asked the first question. “So… what’s the new song about?”

“Hmm?” The bar was noisy, so Minnie had to lean closer to hear her better.

“Your new song,” the teacher repeated. “What’s it about?”

“Oh, um… love, I guess?”

“You guess?”

“It’s still pretty rough, so…” Minnie shrugged. “Don’t let those idiots fool you. It still needs a _lot_ of work.”

“But it’s a love song?”

“Yeah,” Minnie nodded, eyes fixed on her fingers dancing on the edge of the bar. “I like love songs. They’re, I don’t know… They feel real… even if you’re not in love.”

Miyeon casually looked up at the overhead menu as she asked, “And that’s you? You’re not in love?” She didn’t need to see Minnie’s reaction because she felt it. The girl froze up beside her for a moment, and then she tried to step back from where she was smushed up next to the teacher. But they were so packed in at the bar that it was impossible.

“Right now? Me?” Minnie started, then cleared her throat before she continued. “Um… that’s not an easy answer.” And then she carefully glanced over at Miyeon, nudging her slightly as she asked, “What about you?”

“That’s not an easy answer,” Miyeon parroted back, causing them both to chuckle.

“That’s fair.”

“Actually, no, I’ll answer honestly,” Miyeon suddenly decided. And she thought about the girl whose Instagram she still checked almost daily. And she thought about the pic that had ruined her week. “Honestly, no. There’s no love in my life right now.” Then, she thought about the girl she was currently pressed up against, who _did_ like her but whom she’d never given a chance. “But… maybe I’ve just been looking in the wrong places.”

Minnie hummed beside her in some vague sign of agreement. But then she pressed a bit closer into Miyeon’s side, so… there was that?

And all Miyeon could think about was how different Minnie and Shuhua were.

If she’d dropped a hint like that to Shuhua, the bold girl would’ve jumped at the chance to compliment her or ask her out. Or both. She probably would’ve done so even without the hint—she marched to her own beat and if she wanted something… if she wanted Miyeon… She wouldn’t need a hint, she’d just go for it.

That’s right.

And it’d been almost a week since they’d last seen each other. Shuhua hadn’t said a single word—no apology, no post, nothing. She obviously didn’t want anything else from Miyeon. She’d had her fun, messed up and left without looking back. That’s right.

So who cared if Minnie wasn’t as bold?

Miyeon didn’t want bold if it didn’t care about what she wanted too.

And Minnie was the epitome of someone who cared—maybe too much, maybe too intensely, but she cared.

“Miyeon.”

“Mhm,” she turned expectantly to look at the musician.

The response wasn’t quite what she was expecting though. “Your phone’s buzzing.”

“What?”

“Your phone,” Minnie pointed down to where they were practically joined at the hip. “I can feel it through your jeans,” she chuckled. “Just a couple buzzes, so it’s probably a text.”

“Oh... I bet it’s Soyeon wondering if we got lost.”

“Well, we kinda did.” Minnie smiled and gestured to the bartender who was still too far away and too busy to take their orders.

“Do you want to wait or go back to the table?” Miyeon asked as she fished out her phone. Her hand made some significant contact with the other girl’s pants, but neither of them mentioned it.

“I can wait.”

“Okay.”

“Cool.” Minnie nodded, needlessly looking back down the bar. “Cool, cool.”

Miyeon chuckled to herself. “With lines like that, no wonder you’re a songwriter.”

“Watch it,” she mock-glared at her.

“I’ll tell Soyeon that we don’t need saving then,” Miyeon announced with a coy smile. She finally looked down at her phone and pulled down her notifications bar.

And then the smile fell right off her face.

It wasn’t Soyeon who’d texted her, or even Yuqi.

No.

Of course not.

It was Shuhua.

Miyeon froze and just stared at her phone for a long moment. Trying to figure out what course of action to take. She didn’t want whatever Shuhua would possibly say to ruin her night, but she also knew it was too late to forget that she’d contacted her.

Minnie noticed the change in her expression. And she was far too understanding, because she turned her body away as much as she could and said, “Don’t mind me.” Maybe she knew it wasn’t Soyeon, maybe she didn’t. It didn’t seem to matter to her.

Miyeon wanted to be grateful for Minnie’s kind actions, but all of her emotional output was currently focused on Shuhua.

There was really no avoiding it.

So she opened the text. Correction: texts.

**_[Shuhua 11:09 pm]_ **

_I still have the pictures btw_

Just reading the first one alone caused a wave of dread to wash over the teacher. She swallowed and forced herself to keep reading.

**_[Shuhua 11:09 pm]_ **

_I still have the pictures btw_

_I was looking at them again just now thinking of what happened…_

_Can we talk?_

Miyeon let out a shaky breath once she finished reading. It caught Minnie’s attention because the musician raised an eyebrow at her and asked, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” No, actually. “Um… I think I need to step out for a bit.”

“Oh, okay.” It was obvious that Minnie wanted to pry, but she just nodded and made space for her to get out. “If you’re sure. Text me if you need anything.”

“Yeah…”

Miyeon’s mind was already ten steps ahead of her—already imagining what her phone call with Shuhua would be like. Which version of the other girl was she going to get?

“Oh, what’s your order?” Minnie caught her by the elbow at the last second to ask her that question.

“Hmm?”

“For drinks,” she clarified.

“Oh. Whatever you’re having’s fine.”

“Okay, will do.” And then with one last look of concern, Minnie let her go.

\------

Miyeon and Shuhua talk to each other at the worst possible time.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *announcer voice*   
> oh, what's that? looks like there's another challenger entering the ring :o 
> 
> Welcome piano-playing, emo musician Kim Minnie!
> 
> place your bets down below, folks! Shuhua or Minnie?


	5. Miyeon and Shuhua talk to each other at the worst possible time

**_Chapter 5:_ **

Miyeon and Shuhua talk to each other at the worst possible time.

\------

Miyeon stepped out of the bar and walked a few feet clear of the doorway.

She didn’t want to go too far, she just wanted a bit of privacy.

She debated for a moment whether she should text Shuhua back first or just call her. Then she decided to just bite the bullet while she still had liquid courage flowing through her veins.

So she called her.

And Shuhua picked up before the second ring.

“Oh, Miyeon. Looks like I caught you at a good time.” Shuhua’s words came out a bit slower than usual. She sounded… a bit tipsy? And Miyeon’s suspicions were confirmed mere seconds later when the younger girl revealed, “I’ll tell you honestly that I had some drinks. Just a little, but I wanted to tell you.”

Miyeon had to take a few seconds to figure out how to respond to that. As always, it felt like Shuhua was taking the lead from the get-go. “You asked if we could talk. Do you want me to call back?”

“No, I just wanted to be honest with you.”

And that was the second time the influencer had mentioned honesty in less than ten seconds. It felt very pointed. But instead of picking at the reasoning behind it, Miyeon just followed suit.

“Fine. Then you should know that I’ve been drinking too.”

“Really? At home?”

“No,” Miyeon paused, then decided to further clarify, “I’m out with some friends right now.”

“Oh?” The sound of shuffling could be heard from the other side. When Shuhua spoke next, she sounded a lot further away, like she had the phone on speaker. “Am I stealing you away? You can go back if you want.”

“I’m fine.”

Miyeon did want to go back but, more than anything else, she also wanted to have this conversation with Shuhua. She’d been wanting this all week—from the second the girl had left her apartment. Whether they never spoke to each other again after this or not didn’t matter. This could be her closure. She wasn’t about to give it up so easily.

“I’m fine,” she repeated.

“Do you know what I’m doing now?” Shuhua asked conversationally, like she knew there was no chance that Miyeon would’ve left. She was right. “Those pictures, do you remember? I still have them.” Shuhua cleared her throat and sighed. “I’m looking at them right now.”

Miyeon sucked in a deep breath at the reminder of those infamous pics. And the power they still had over her was almost overwhelming. She remembered the post that had caused their fight. And then her mind raced ahead to imagine Shuhua posting the rest of the pictures to her Instagram. All it would take was a few clicks. Barely a couple of seconds and, and…

She blinked in surprise at the sudden wetness in her eyes.

“Yeah. I remember,” she choked out. She felt like she was hotwired—so keyed up with emotions it was frightening. The alcohol in her system wasn’t helping either.

“You sound kinda weird. I hope you’re not sick, Miyeonie… You shouldn’t be out partying if you feel sick.”

“I feel fine.” She felt like she was having a heart attack.

“That’s why I came home. I was out tonight too, you know,” Shuhua continued. “But I came home because I felt, ah… I don’t know…” More shuffling, and then her voice sounded closer. So close it felt like she was whispering into her phone. “My heart hurts, Miyeon… I’m looking at your pictures and my heart hurts. That’s what I wanted to tell you, I think… I don’t know…”

“What—” Miyeon’s voice came out rough and uneven. So she cleared her throat, steeled her heart and tried again. “What are you going to do with them?”

“This again,” Shuhua scoffed right into her mouthpiece. Her voice rose suddenly and sharply. “This again, really?”

“No, I’m just—”

“I haven’t posted since that day, you know? Not a single picture. Did you know that?”

“I didn’t.” But she did. Miyeon had still been checking her feed and she’d definitely noticed the lack of new content.

“And I said I wouldn’t post your pictures, didn’t I? I kept my promise, Miyeon. No matter what you think about me, I kept my promise,” Shuhua said and then she sighed down the line. After a beat of silence, she continued, “I don’t want to fight, so I’ll delete them if you want. Just tell me.”

Miyeon took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

She was getting a very strong case of déjà vu. She remembered the moment the younger girl had first asked her about the pictures. How Miyeon had initially felt alarmed until she’d realized that she’d just been ignorant to what was really being asked of her. That sense of realization was present now too. And then she remembered when Shuhua had spitefully deleted the post after she’d blown up about it. How it had only made her angrier. Deleting them was simple, but a lot of the underlying emotions wouldn’t just disappear.

She should just say yes, though. She could just deal with her wayward emotions after everything was gone.

Instead, she said, “You didn’t need my permission for anything else before.”

Shuhua scoffed and Miyeon could just imagine her shaking her head right now. “You…” And then her voice rose again. “If you don’t tell me what you want, how am I supposed to know?” Shuhua asked, aggravated. “Honestly… I want things too, you know… If you don’t tell me, then I’ll just do what I want.”

“You’re right. That’s what you always do.” Miyeon’s voice was calmer and more measured than she thought would be possible for this conversation. She felt like she was finally realizing something she should’ve known before.

Shuhua was selfish.

“It’s what you should do too! How do you expect to get anything if you never ask for it?” Shuhua’s words were fast and passionate. “You think anyone else cares about what you want? Not even your friends do, Miyeon, I’m telling you. They just want what’s best for them. If that’s the same as you, then you’re just lucky.” And Miyeon was reminded of the Shuhua she’d seen during their last fight. She’d thought she was snide and rude and callous. And this version of the girl sounded so similar to the one from back then, but it left a different mark on the teacher. Now, she felt the girl was harsh and blunt and unafraid. This version felt more connected to the compliment-heavy Shuhua she was so used to. Less complimentary, but more honest. And the second realization of the night came. All of these versions of Shuhua were the same. She’d always been the same. It was Miyeon’s own emotions that had colored them one way or the other.

Shuhua ended with a fiery, “Luck doesn’t last, you know. It doesn’t last. If you stay quiet and only take what you’re lucky to get, then don’t complain when you get nothing at all.”

The last of her words sharply rang out in the silence that fell between them.

It stayed like that for maybe half a beat, and then, a rowdy group of young adults came spilling out of the bar.

They stumbled past Miyeon on their way to whatever else their night had in store for them. She let their noisy banter fill her ears and felt strangely bereft as they walked away. And like a broken record, Shuhua’s words echoed endlessly in the back of her mind: _‘It doesn’t last.’_

She’d stayed quiet, so she didn’t get to complain when it went away, right? She hadn’t done anything to stop it. She hadn’t done anything at all.

And the final realization of the night struck her the hardest, because it was about herself.

She was so… passive.

Shuhua was absolutely right about her.

In that moment, standing alone outside in the cold night air, her lack of action felt just as damning as Shuhua’s self-centeredness.

For a good while neither of them spoke. Only the sound of their ragged breaths filtered through the line. And then, finally, Miyeon took the first step.

“You must really think I’m pathetic then,” she quietly scoffed.

“Miyeon… That’s not true. You know that’s not true at all.” Shuhua’s voice had calmed considerably. “I always tell you you’re perfect and I mean it. I really, sincerely mean it.”

“Then why…”

“If you’re happy, then that’s all that matters. But for my life—for how I want to live, this is just what I believe… I’m sorry if it sounded like I was telling you what to do.”

“… Now you’re sorry.”

“I am. Seriously.” Shuhua paused for a few seconds and then made sure to repeat herself clearly, “I’m sorry. I just wanted to explain what I think…” The younger girl sighed and continued, “I think that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I saw your pictures and I just felt… We should’ve talked more before I left… Maybe if I explained this much, it wouldn’t have gotten that bad. Or maybe…” Miyeon pressed the phone closer to her ear as the girl’s voice grew quieter and quieter. After a beat of silence, she started back up again. “I didn’t understand why you were so mad. I still don’t.”

And there was the opening. Shuhua was brash and bold, but she had put that all aside to admit that there was still something she had no idea how to handle. She wanted Miyeon to tell her how.

And Miyeon wanted to help her.

The teacher took a moment to gather her thoughts and untangle the emotional turmoil the incident had caused. Not just that fight though—it was the entire basis of her relationship with Shuhua up until this point. “I feel like I gave you so much of myself so quickly and you just… didn’t care.”

“That’s not…”

“Let me finish,” Miyeon insisted. She walked further down the sidewalk and leaned up against the cold brick wall of the bar. She took a deep breath. “You’re right, I don’t ask for much. And I’m fine with that. But you… everything you asked for, I gave it to you. And maybe I should’ve said no—that’s my fault.” She had to acknowledge that she’d played a part in their disfunction too. “In the end… you didn’t know my boundaries and I didn’t know yours. That’s what happened.”

“… We moved too fast,” Shuhua echoed.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

Miyeon bit her lip and looked down at the heels she’d chosen to wear for her night out. They were the same pair she’d worn on her first date with Shuhua. It felt very fitting.

She heard the sound of rustling over the line, but when it ended Shuhua didn’t speak for a long while. And then finally, “Can we start over then? Since we got it wrong the first time.”

And Miyeon would be lying if she said she hadn’t hoped, at least a little, for something like this. “Start over?”

“Yeah. If you want to.” A pause and then, “It’ll be better this time.”

“You sound so sure.”

“I have to be sure,” Shuhua affirmed, a hint of her usually bright self finally showing through. “How else am I supposed to convince you to give us another chance?” Miyeon could hear the smile in her words. “I have to believe it first. And I do.”

That confidence… even now, masked by the drunken slur in her speech—even now, it was still so convincing. But Miyeon didn’t want to just go along with what Shuhua wanted. She wanted to want it too.

And the truth was… that she did.

“We have to slow down,” she said in lieu of direct confirmation. But it was obvious to them both that she was onboard. “We have to talk more, Shuhua, or else it won’t work. Okay?”

“Okay,” Shuhua chirped back. And then, she added, “You have to tell me you want to do this though. Say it clearly.”

Of course she’d notice that she hadn’t said it. Miyeon closed her eyes. She felt like she was on the edge of something important. Something that would probably change her life one way or the other. She hoped it was for the better. She wanted that.

“I want to do this with you.”

\------

Miyeon and Shuhua start dating (again).

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ reconciliation ~
> 
> what do you guys think? should miyeon have gotten back with shuhua or nah?
> 
> drop your thoughts and get ready for another update in a few days, got a little halloween special cooking for you guys :)


	6. Miyeon and Shuhua start dating (again)

**_Chapter 6:_ **

Miyeon and Shuhua start dating (again).

\------

The morning after, Miyeon woke up with a smile on her face.

She’d had a good dream. And she’d had a good night before that too, all things considered.

After her talk with Shuhua (that hadn’t ended until she’d gotten a text from Soyeon asking if she was still alive), she’d gone back into the bar. She hadn’t stayed much longer after that though. She’d been emotionally exhausted and she’d lost most of her buzz outside. So she’d paid for her drinks, said her goodbyes and called a ride home. Then she’d spent the rest of the night texting with Shuhua.

They’d chatted about nothing really, and everything. All the small stuff they’d skipped over in their first try at a relationship. They were going slower this time, so that meant talking more. And honestly… it was really nice.

Miyeon had only stopped texting when her eyes had grown too heavy to stay awake.

Sure enough, she had a text waiting for her on her phone. Correction: texts.

**_[Shuhua 2:41 am]_ **

_strawberries and ppl who only like me for my followers_

_give up?_

They’d been playing a guessing game before Miyeon fell asleep. (That probably helped explain why her dreams had featured a walking jar of strawberry jam.) And it looked like it was still her turn. So she snuggled down in her pillow and typed out her guess.

**_[Miyeon 9:29 am]_ **

_things that you have nightmares about?_

_I’m right aren’t I?_

Not too long after that, Shuhua’s response came in.

**_[Shuhua 9:31 am]_ **

_not even close._

_Good morning sleeping beauty :)_

**_[Miyeon 9:32 am]_ **

_Morning :)_

_What’s the answer?_

And throughout the rest of their conversation, the smile on Miyeon’s face never really went away.

She finally rolled out of bed about fifteen minutes later—bedhead and all—and shuffled into the kitchen to make breakfast.

On the way there, she passed by two conspicuous lumps lying on the living room couches. The sound of soft snoring confirmed that the lumps were most likely Yuqi and Minnie. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d stayed over after a night out and it probably wouldn’t be the last.

With a pep in her step, Miyeon started in on her omelette ambitions. It felt like an omelette day.

And then her phone beeped with an incoming text.

**_[Shuhua 9:58 am]_ **

_there’s this bakery my friend owns that I want to take you to_

_breakfast?_

Miyeon pursed her lips at the inconvenient timing—she’d already cracked two eggs after all.

**_[Miyeon 10:01 am]_ **

_can’t right now_

And then she attached a pic of her bowl of cracked eggs.

Shuhua’s response came quickly.

**_[Shuhua 10:02 am]_ **

_I’ve always wondered what ur cooking tastes like_

_As beautiful as u I bet_

**_[Miyeon 10:03 am]_ **

_Beautiful…?_

**_[Shuhua 10:03 am]_ **

_u caught me!_

_I wanted to say delicious but…_

Miyeon’s heartbeat picked up when she read that line.

**_[Shuhua 10:04 am]_ **

_too soon!_

_we haven’t even gone on our first date yet :’)_

At this point, Miyeon had completely sidelined her breakfast and was solely focused on her phone.

**_[Miyeon 10:06 am]_ **

_complete restart huh?_

_okay_

_when’s the first date?_

**_[Shuhua 10:07 am]_ **

_If you open ur front door… right now?_

And if that didn’t make her do a double-take—

Miyeon immediately sprang upright and practically ran out of the kitchen to the front door. She stopped herself seconds from opening it to catch her breath though.

Her mind was running on overdrive. She didn’t want to appear too excited—and what if Shuhua wasn’t even there in the first place? Wasn’t this just another case of the younger girl doing whatever she wanted with little regard for what Miyeon wanted?

And in that moment she wished more than anything that her door had a peephole so she could see outside into the hallway.

Lacking a non-embarrassing alternative, Miyeon pulled back out her phone.

**_[Miyeon 10:09 am]_ **

_are you really here? seriously_

**_[Shuhua 10:09 am]_ **

_Do you want me to be?_

What kind of mind games…? It was a yes or no question. Biting her lip, Miyeon decided to test out a theory.

**_[Miyeon 10:10 am]_ **

_No, sorry_

_I don’t have any time today_

She’d rarely said no to Shuhua before. Not because she couldn’t, she just hadn’t thought to. What would happen if she did it now? They’d promised to do better this time around with each other’s boundaries, but what if…

**_[Shuhua 10:11 am]_ **

_Ah…_

_not the morning I hoped for, but that’s okay!_

_good luck with your work today :)_

And that decided it.

Miyeon whipped open the front door and came face-to-face with a surprised Shuhua. The younger girl was standing across the hallway, leaning against the wall with her phone in hand. She looked up with a disbelieving smile at Miyeon.

“Or…” Miyeon shyly proposed, “You can come inside and tell me what kind of morning you were hoping for.”

Shuhua pushed off the wall and slowly made her way over to stand in front of Miyeon. With a playful huff, she correctly deduced, “You just wanted to say no to me.”

“Maybe.”

“Fine,” Shuhua shrugged indifferently, baiting her. “Then if I ask you to show me your room again…?”

Miyeon narrowed her eyes. She looked at the girl who’d swept right back into her life as quickly as she’d left it. That smug grin, those bold eyes, and that presence that just would not be denied. Did she have a choice really?

“My roommate is here...” Miyeon whispered, trying to stall. “And her friends.”

“I’ll make sure you stay quiet then,” Shuhua nodded easily and surely she wasn’t suggesting— “I’ll use my hand first, but we might need something else, like a small piece of—” And then she reached out for Miyeon’s hip and suddenly pulled her in closer. “Like this, hmm? What do you think?”

And Miyeon didn’t really get what the girl was asking her until she felt Shuhua’s fingers slip under her waistband and coil around the fabric of her underwear. Her face felt like it was on fire as she felt Shuhua pull, pull, pull until her pink underwear was sticking out for them both to see.

Shuhua glanced down at her hand, and then back up at Miyeon’s frozen face. And then she nodded once in apparent approval. “How’s this?”

Miyeon was left speechless. “You…”

“Me?”

She could barely think, let alone respond. “… Shut up.”

“You’re the one who can’t keep—”

Miyeon slapped a hand over the girl’s mouth because she’d had enough.

But that was obviously the wrong thing to do, because Shuhua grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a surprise hug. Her hand slipped off the younger girl’s mouth and that freed Shuhua up enough to whisper in Miyeon’s ear. Softly, carefully, filled with emotion. “I missed you.”

And Miyeon’s heart was beating too fast, but she held on. She forced herself to relax enough to return the hug, bury her face in Shuhua’s neck and mumble out, “Missed you too.”

\------

Miyeon and Shuhua’s friends don’t really _get_ their relationship.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in celebration of kda + the miyeon/shuhua/yuqi vlive today, here's a midweek update!
> 
> gotta get this one in before the big 'halloween' chapter this weekend :)
> 
> yo, drop a comment, let's talk about how cute mishu are rn :')


	7. Miyeon and Shuhua’s friends don’t really get their relationship

**_Chapter 7:_ **

Miyeon and Shuhua’s friends don’t really _get_ their relationship.

\------

Two weeks later and Miyeon had finally cleared her schedule enough to make it to a song camp. Though why she, a non-musician, was there in the first place was still up for debate. Whatever. For the first Friday in forever, she was really and truly free.

She’d taken the train with Soyeon all the way to the other side of town where Minnie lived.

Minnie’s apartment was in a nicer neighborhood than theirs, and had a lobby and a doorbell that actually worked.

When they were buzzed up, Miyeon looked around in appreciation at the ritzy art hanging near the elevator. “This place is nice,” she commented.

“Minnie’s parents pay for it,” Soyeon explained as the elevator doors opened up and they got on. “It’s their apology for making her turn down the record deal.”

And that was a piece of information that Miyeon hadn’t been privy to before. The elevator doors closed shut and they soon started moving up to the ninth floor.

“I didn’t know that it was her parents who…”

“Yep,” Soyeon said, popping her lips around the word. “Try not to ask about it though, she always gets so emo.”

Miyeon sighed. “You know she hates when you call her that.”

“You know what she hates even more?” And then Soyeon gave her a meaningful glance. “Starts with a ‘your’ and ends with ‘girlfriend’.”

Miyeon bit her lip. This was a topic that had seen regular airplay in their apartment: Shuhua. Ever since the morning of their second first date, Soyeon had been pretty vocal about the influencer. In particular, she’d highlighted the fact that Shuhua hadn’t even said hi to the rest of them when she’d been over. Granted, they’d spent a significant chunk of that morning locked up in Miyeon’s bedroom… but, still. Shuhua had managed to spend 6 whole hours in the apartment without running into Soyeon, Minnie or Yuqi even once. And she hadn’t sought them out either.

According to Soyeon, that gave her a ‘bad vibe’.

“You’ll like her once you get to meet her,” Miyeon argued back for the hundredth time.

“We could’ve met two weeks ago.”

“And you didn’t, so just let it go, okay?”

It was obvious that Soyeon wanted to say more, but she held back and only replied with, “Fine. Just try not to bring her up.”

“Anything else I can or can’t say, your majesty?” Miyeon responded with more than a hint of irritation.

Probably sensing her mood, Soyeon thankfully backed off, reverting back to her more playful side. “Last one... You can’t call me short anymore.”

“Never,” Miyeon shook her head with the barest hint of a smile on her face. She was glad for the change in topic. She wrapped her roommate up in a reconciliatory hug, knowing that she only had her best interests at heart. “You’re basically pocket-sized.”

“I’ll lock you out of the apartment.”

“No, you won’t.”

Soyeon sighed, reluctantly agreeing, “No, I won’t.”

Miyeon beamed down at her roommate as the elevator doors opened. They stepped out together and walked down the carpeted hallway. Minnie’s apartment door had been left wide open in anticipation of their arrival. Another perk of living in a nice neighborhood: not having to worry about people breaking in.

They could hear Yuqi and Minnie arguing before they even stepped foot inside.

“You want it to sound like a funeral song? That’s how sad it is right now with all that organ stuff you put in,” Yuqi was yelling.

“And whose song is this supposed to be?”

“Friends don’t let friends make depressing, soul-crushing music. Seriously, take out the—”

“I swear to _god_ if you touch that one more time—”

Soyeon hurriedly skipped into the open doorway with a forced smile. “And we’re here!” She cheerily announced, drowning out the squabbling. “Now shut up and greet us, you losers.”

By the time Miyeon stepped in, Yuqi and Minnie were on their feet and smiling at them both. Soyeon was nothing short of a miracle worker.

“Thank god you’re here, Miyeon,” Yuqi cried out theatrically, rolling her eyes. “Finally someone else with taste that I can talk to. These girls just don’t understand my level of genius. It’s just so hard living like this.”

Soyeon didn’t miss a beat. She unceremoniously threw her bag down on a nearby couch. “First rule of song camp,” she announced, advancing threateningly on an already retreating Yuqi. “Yuqi gets punched in the face.”

“What kind of rule is—hold on, wait!” Yuqi wailed as she ran away, disappearing further into the apartment with Soyeon hot on her heels.

Miyeon shook her head at the pair and belatedly decided to close the front door. If this were her place, then she would’ve already received ten noise complaints from her neighbours. As it was, Minnie didn’t look too worried about disturbing the peace.

Instead, the musician was smiling a bit nervously at Miyeon, hands resting in her back pockets. “Welcome to song camp,” she calmly greeted.

“Thanks.”

The teacher stepped further in, putting her bag down beside Soyeon’s. She looked around at the, admittedly, very nice apartment. If this had really been paid for by Minnie’s parents, then either her family was richer than she’d thought or the girl’s parents had a lot of pent-up guilt they’d tried to buy off. Or both.

“Your place looks nice.”

“Thanks,” Minnie replied. And then she stepped forward, gesturing to a mini bar in the corner of the living room. And… wow. Okay. Who had a mini-bar in their apartment? “First rule of song camp isn’t actually punch Yuqi, by the way. It’s grab the good liquor before Soyeon finds it.”

“Really?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

“I’m starting to think you guys are just making up these rules,” Miyeon joked. But she followed the girl over to the booze corner where she was handed a fresh red solo cup. “Classy,” she commented.

Minnie shrugged, chuckling. “You can take the girl out of college…” Then she went behind the bar to pick out a few bottles from the shelves.

“I didn’t peg you for the partying type,” Miyeon said.

“I wasn’t. I was mostly holed up in the music department getting drunk on semitones and leitmotifs.”

“I… have no idea what those are,” Miyeon admitted.

Minnie laughed, setting down her chosen poisons. “It basically means I was a music nerd in college. Soyeon’s the one who introduced me to most of the good stuff, but we didn’t meet until after my grad.” She uncorked a bottle of dark, very strong scotch and poured it into her own cup. Then she offered some to Miyeon who very smartly rejected it. The teacher knew her limits and a heavyweight she most definitely was not. “Take anything you want,” Minnie gestured to the rest of the bottles she’d picked out.

“You do realize that I have no music experience, right? I teach art,” Miyeon reminded her. “I’m basically freeloading right now since I won’t be any help later.”

Minnie disagreed. “You’re the only thing that’s going to stop me from murdering those two idiots. That’s huge.”

“Sure…” Miyeon carefully surveyed her alcohol options. “You and Soyeon… How’d you meet, by the way?”

“She found me on the alumni page and asked if I could listen to her music,” Minnie deadpanned and took a healthy sip of her drink. “Not the first person to try that, but her stuff was good, so… Here we are.”

“And Yuqi?”

“She sang at the bar I work at once. We got to talking and realized we have a lot in common.”

Miyeon finally picked out a bottle of expensive looking vodka and some cranberry juice. She was a simple girl. “Got to talking,” she teased with a smile. “Did you date?”

And Minnie nearly choked on her drink. She coughed into her elbow as she shook her head, already trying to deny the accusation even though she couldn’t breathe.

“Sorry,” Miyeon chuckled. “Didn’t mean to almost kill you.”

“You didn’t,” Minnie gasped out, voice rough and eyes watering. “You didn’t and we didn’t. We didn’t date. Ever.”

“Okay.”

“And Soyeon too. We didn’t date either.”

“Got it.”

“Yeah. Just wanted to clear that up, um…” Minnie cleared her throat and determinedly looked around the living room. “Speaking of the worst people on earth, I think they forgot about us.”

“It’s not forgetting if it’s on purpose,” Miyeon cheekily pointed out.

“Every time,” Minnie sighed in agreement. “Well… I guess I should show you the rest of the place? They’re probably in the studio.” Minnie grabbed a few bottles and the stack of red solo cups. Then she turned towards the hallway. “Come on.”

Miyeon quietly followed after her.

All in all, she was surprised by how normal it felt to be talking with Minnie again. The way Soyeon had been warning her off, she’d expected a more… emotionally subdued version of the musician. But that’s not what she’d seen at all. Minnie was just as she’d always been—kind, caring, and a little shy. The fact that Miyeon was now dating Shuhua hadn’t changed much at all. Not that she could see anyway. If anything, it made Miyeon feel like she and Minnie could really become good friends in the future.

\--

Miyeon wasn’t a lightweight by any means.

But something she’d started to realize about halfway into the night was that Minnie’s liquor was of the top shelf variety. Which meant that they packed a pretty heavy punch.

She didn’t start feeling the punches till an hour and a half later when they actually started working on Minnie’s song.

They were all packed into her bedroom slash studio. There was a bed, a couch, a keyboard, some drums, a computer, a desk, a chair, a couple mics and lots and lots of soundproofing foam and carpets. The air sounded a bit deader inside once they closed the door, and Miyeon assumed that was the intended effect.

And while Yuqi and Soyeon were camped out on the couch right behind Minnie’s chair, Miyeon had opted to take the adjacent bed instead. It got her out of the way of all the musicking they were doing. It also gave her a comfy surface to rest against once her head started spinning.

“What about some high hats?” Soyeon suggested, eyes focused intently up at the ceiling. It looked like she was zoned out, but her words made it obvious that she was just focusing very, very hard. “Add some tss tss tss at the end of the second line, maybe?”

“Ah… draw it out? Or maybe something sharper like—this? How’s this?” Minnie tapped away at her computer, quickly producing some instrumental snippet that sounded very similar to what Soyeon had suggested. “It’s too sharp?”

“Yeah, tone it down a bit,” Soyeon agreed.

“It definitely sounds better, though,” Yuqi commented.

“Mhm…” And then Minnie didn’t speak again for a few minutes as she fiddled with the high hat settings. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she admitted with a frown, “High hats don’t really fit the theme, though… It’s too…”

Minnie was facing her screen, so she didn’t get to see the reactions behind her. Miyeon saw them though. Yuqi sighed heavily, throwing her body back against the couch in defeat. And Soyeon’s eyes closed for a moment as she bit her lip—biting back her initial response.

When her roommate opened her eyes, she carefully said, “It would _help_ if we knew what theme you were looking for.”

“I don’t know…” Minnie grumbled. “It feels like we’re further away than when we started… There’s just too much stuff—”

Yuqi cut her off. “You said you didn’t want acoustic, but you hate everything that doesn’t sound acoustic.”

Minnie grit her teeth in annoyance. “I said it didn’t fit, what am I supposed to do—”

Soyeon’s voice floated above the din. “If it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit. We’ll just keep working.” It probably wasn’t what anyone wanted to hear, but Miyeon knew it was meant to ward off any further arguments. Something else that Miyeon had realized was that they were pretty belligerent drunks, all of them. That kind of aggression probably didn’t play well into the patience that she imagined was necessary for songwriting. But what did she know anyway? This was her first song camp and she wasn’t even a musician. Maybe this was all a part of their ‘process’.

“Ugh, I need another drink—where’s the pizza?” Yuqi sprung to her feet, looking blearily around her for the nonexistent pizza. “Didn’t we order pizza? Did you finish it all already pig Minnie?”

And the glare on Minnie’s face was absolutely deadly. Ok, so maybe this wasn’t a part of their ‘process’ after all. It was obvious that tensions were running a bit too high, because Yuqi’s teasing question garnered a very heated response. “I’m seriously about to tear your throat out,” Minnie snarled. “Aren’t you a singer? Huh? How are you so fucking noisy?”

“Want me to sing instead?” And then Yuqi really did start singing, “ _Wheeere is the pizzzzzaaaaa?_ ”

And that’s when Miyeon knew she had to step in.

She got to her feet right as Minnie launched herself at Yuqi. The battle-hardened teacher quickly caught the musician by the waist and clumsily pushed her back down into her chair. They ended up knocking some CDs off the desk, but that was a small price to pay for Yuqi’s life.

“Hey, stop it, come on,” Miyeon chided as she tried to de-escalate the situation. Minnie’s jaw was clenched and her eyes were glaring firmly at Yuqi. Yuqi, on the other hand, was willfully ignoring her brush with death as she continued to search for the missing pizza. Miyeon decided to answer that question too. “You said you were going to order pizza, but you didn’t do it yet. You couldn’t decide on the toppings.”

“Ah, that’s right…” Soyeon calmly nodded along, like she wasn’t in the middle of a war zone.

“I’ll order it,” Miyeon offered. She felt like she was back in school, playing peacemaker with her fifth-graders.

“Call!” Yuqi shouted, nearly falling over herself in her excitement. “Pepperoni, pineapple and p… p…”

“Peppers?” Soyeon supplied with a grimace.

Yuqi clapped in agreement. “Peppers! And spinach!”

“Ech…”

“Shut up, you can pick them off so stop complaining.”

“Okay,” Miyeon tried to reign the conversation back in before it got out of control again. “Anything else?” She turned back to Minnie who had stubbornly turned back to her computer screen. “Minnie?”

“Just get whatever,” the musician muttered.

Miyeon heaved a sigh, but decided to ignore the uncontrollables for now. She could deal with pizza. An emo musician—or an… emotionally charged musician could wait till later.

\--

‘Later’ came while they were waiting for the pizzas to arrive.

Soyeon and Yuqi had opted to wait out in the living room. Usually a move like that would lead Miyeon to believe they were trying to set her up again. But she was pretty confident they were too drunk to even realize what they were doing. It sounded like they were raiding the mini-bar anyways.

Also, she was currently dating Shuhua. Soyeon wouldn’t try to set her up while she was already in a relationship… Hopefully not.

Minnie had migrated over to her piano keyboard, pressing the keys in some random pattern only she knew. The urge to call her ‘emo’ was so strong, but Miyeon valiantly resisted.

“Why not just make an acoustic song?” The teacher asked, having returned to her spot on the bed. She was still drunk enough to appreciate how fluffy the mattress was.

“Because.” And then Minnie played some fancy scale up and down the keyboard. The frown on her face was as intense as the speed with which her fingers moved. So… emo— “Because it’s boring,” Minnie finally huffed out an explanation. “I know it’s boring and I don’t want to make a boring song.”

“But that’s what you like, isn’t it?”

Minnie looked up without breaking stride, and stared long and hard back at Miyeon.

“What?” Miyeon prodded, raising her eyebrows.

“… Nothing.” And then she went back to her playing, lips pursed in obvious frustration.

And for the umpteenth time, Miyeon found herself comparing Minnie to Shuhua. She had to stop doing this. But… But Shuhua would never hold herself back if she had something to say. She’d say it—and damned whatever the consequences that would follow. Minnie, on the other hand… She held her emotions close to her chest, only letting them out when there was no chance of hurting anyone else. In a way, Minnie was the biggest liar she knew. And it made Miyeon wonder which person was the more selfish of the two.

It also made her wonder what Minnie was hiding from her right now.

And then Miyeon said something she probably shouldn’t be saying given how drunk she was. “If you don’t tell me what you’re feeling, how am I supposed to know?” Because those were Shuhua’s words through and through.

It made Minnie stop playing, though.

The soundproofing was really well-done in the room. Even with the door cracked open, only the barest sounds from the living room filtered in. It made the sudden silence even more stark.

“You should talk to your friends more,” Miyeon continued. “They’re just trying to help.”

“They’re drunk,” Minnie obstinately replied.

“So?”

“… I’m drunk… You too...”

“Don’t listen to me then,” Miyeon shrugged, her shoulders moving sluggishly. “Even though you know I’m right…”

Minnie scowled, then noisily smashed her hands on the keys in a tiny fit of musical anger. Then she got to her feet and lazily stumbled back over to her computer, stopping just in front of where Miyeon was sitting on the bed. Minnie leaned against her desk and sighed. “I feel like a bad student right now.”

“Really?” Miyeon giggled. “Why?”

“And my teacher just told me I needed to grow up. And she was right.” Minnie pouted to show that she knew she’d been pretty emo… pretty emotionally sensitive. And that she was starting to get over it now.

“You actually listened to me. That’s definitely good student status.”

Minnie finally cracked a smile at that. “I would’ve loved having you as a teacher,” she shared. “All my prep school teachers were just snobby and pretentious… And I know what saying I went to prep school makes me sound like, don’t start,” she chuckled. “Point is, you’re a good teacher.”

Miyeon had to duck her head to hide the blush that lit up her face.

It just… It felt good to hear something like that. Her job could often be thankless, so this just felt really nice.

But the amount of blood rushing to her head probably short-circuited her brain. That’s probably why she said what she said next. “Can’t take all the credit though. It was Shuhua’s advice. Or something like it.”

And when Miyeon looked back up, she finally understood why Soyeon had warned her before.

Minnie’s face was frozen into an almost unnatural smile—like she’d tried to smile but failed. And she was too drunk to mask the expression fast enough. When she finally spoke, it was with an odd inflection. “Mhm. I’ll be sure to thank her, then.”

“Yeah. Um…” Miyeon tried to think of something else to say, but she couldn’t think of anything else but Shuhua. So she decided to just shut the hell up while she was still ahead.

And then Yuqi’s voice quite literally saved the day. “Pizza’s here! Come eat before Soyeon finishes it!”

They both looked towards the slightly opened door and heard the unmistakable sounds of two drunk adults banging around a kitchen.

It was probably time for them to go join the others.

So Miyeon stood up and walked towards the door. Correction: she _tried_ to walk towards the door. Because the second she passed by the musician, Minnie’s hand shot out and grabbed her back pocket.

That stopped her. And it made her turn around in question.

And she turned right into Minnie’s lips.

The kiss was sudden—the kind of kiss that made your body lock up in shock and confusion. And it wasn’t a short kiss either.

Once Minnie realized that Miyeon hadn’t immediately pulled away, she held her fast and kept her locked in. Pressing her lips firmly and insistently against the teacher’s. Moving with the intent to escalate. And then she tried to—

She parted her mouth with a sigh and let her tongue prod at Miyeon’s closed lips and—

And that’s when Miyeon’s brain finally kicked the fuck back in.

She shoved Minnie away with more strength than she’d probably ever used against another person. And the musician went flying. Crashing into her desk and making a mess of her very expensive recording equipment.

The monitor teetered dangerously on the edge of the desk, but that was the least of their problems at the moment.

After that, they just stared at each other for a long while, frozen in shock. Or at least Miyeon was. She felt like her heart was working overtime, beating faster than she could keep up with.

But Minnie didn’t say anything.

The musician just… she just quietly got back on her feet and started rearranging her work station. Like she hadn’t just kissed… Minnie just kissed her. She just _kissed_ her.

“You’re seriously not going to say anything?” Miyeon rasped out in muted disbelief, a hand coming up to cover her lips.

She didn’t want to shout yet. That was her kneejerk reaction when she got angry: she yelled. A lot. But Yuqi and Soyeon were still in the other room and no matter how soundproof the ‘studio’ was, they would definitely hear her. She didn’t want to shout, but the longer Minnie stayed quiet, the higher the chances were of that happening.

Thankfully, Minnie spoke up. Facing away from her like a coward, Minnie quietly admitted, “I guess a small part of me hoped… Maybe you’d like it if I did it like her.”

And Miyeon didn’t know where on earth to start with that. “ _Like her_ ,” she echoed in confusion.

But then Minnie finally turned back around and the look in her eyes was something the teacher had never seen before. Like she’d finally stopped hiding. And the emotions that were spilling out of her at that moment were almost frightening.

Minnie kept their gazes locked as she spoke, words forced out slowly to counteract how drunk she still was. And every single word was intended to pierce, to hurt. “Yes, _like her_ … Like how she kissed you that morning… how she took you to your room… how she held you down, how she fucked you… She never asked, but that didn’t matter because you begged her anyway… Because that’s—that’s what you like.”

It was an accusation and a damning reveal all in one. And by the end of it, Miyeon’s face had lost all of its color. 

They both knew which morning Minnie was talking about.

“You… you heard…?” The teacher stuttered out, feeling a rush of embarrassment so strong it threatened to knock her off her feet.

“Your room’s not as soundproof as mine is,” Minnie blandly joked with an empty smile.

Miyeon clamped her eyes shut because this couldn’t be real. This was worse than the pictures. Some random follower seeing her naked suddenly didn’t matter anymore because this was someone she knew. Minnie had heard her.

She felt dizzy. “I thought you were sleeping—”

“But it’s my fault too,” the musician cut her off. “I could’ve left like Soyeon and Yuqi did. I don’t know if they knew, but they left. I could’ve gone with them... I wanted to stay,” Minnie carefully revealed. And then the bombshell came with barely any warning. “I wanted to hear it. I wanted to know what you like. I wanted to know why…” She shrugged to herself then, like there was nothing she could do about it. “Why you let her—”

“Stop—stop talking,” Miyeon gasped out. She opened her eyes, barely blinking back tears. “What do you mean you wanted to—to… you’re sick.” She didn’t want to hear anymore. She didn’t even want to think about it.

“You’re the one who asked,” Minnie shrugged defensively. She knew she was in the wrong, but she didn’t care. She was finally baring her emotions for Miyeon to see. And they were so, so ugly.

“Pizza’s almost done, what’s taking you guys so long?” Yuqi shouted as she stumbled into the room, unaware of what she’d interrupted. But it didn’t take her too long to pick up on the weird vibe in the air. “What’s going on?” She blinked, looking from Minnie to Miyeon and back again, but nobody answered.

Minnie did start to look a bit shifty, though, like she was nervous Miyeon might reveal everything. Apparently she was fine with being a creep as long as her friends didn’t find out. What a fucking coward.

Miyeon wanted to scream, but she held it in. This wasn’t her apartment, these weren’t her friends and Minnie wasn’t her girlfriend. So she held it in. And she stormed right out of that bedroom, slipping past Yuqi before she could stop her.

“Hold on—Miyeon! Wait!” Yuqi’s voice echoed after her as she made a beeline for the bathroom. She caught sight of Soyeon out of the corner of her eye, but she didn’t stop for her roommate either.

Instead, Miyeon locked herself in the bathroom, breaths coming hard and fast. Her body was going through some kind of reaction. From the shock, the alcohol, the adrenaline, the overwhelming disgust at someone she’d started to think of as a real friend—whatever it was, her body wanted it out. She yanked open the toilet seat and summarily yacked up everything her stomach had to offer. Which was really just alcohol. She hadn’t gotten to the pizza yet—thank god.

A knock on the door cut through the disgusting sounds filling the bathroom. She paused just long enough to call out a pitiful, “I’m fine.”

“Doesn’t sound like that from out here,” Soyeon responded. “I’m coming in.”

“No—”

But Soyeon had already opened the door. Her roommate took one look at her sorry state and winced. “You look like Yuqi at her first song camp. Hits you hard, right?”

“I feel terrible,” Miyeon admitted. It wasn’t all the alcohol’s fault, but she wasn’t above taking free comfort.

“Sorry we ordered the pizza so late, usually we’re better at…” Soyeon leaned down and brushed the hair back off her sweaty forehead. And that’s when she saw the tears. “Why are you crying? You’ll feel better, it’s just the liquor.”

“No,” Miyeon shook her head. She’d tried to hide it, but she couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened in the other room. “I need to leave. I can’t—I need to go.”

“Wait, wait, wait. What’s going on?” Soyeon quickly crouched down to try and meet her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m going home.”

“Okay,” Soyeon nodded, trying to be patient. “Okay, I’ll call us an Uber and we’ll go—”

“No, you can stay.” Miyeon wiped her teary face and tried to keep her voice steady. “I’m sorry, I just—I don’t feel good.”

“And you think I’m going to let you go home like this? Alone?” Soyeon questioned with an arched brow. When no response came, she rocked back onto her heels and looked Miyeon over carefully. Then she cautiously asked, “Did Minnie do something?”

“No.” Miyeon didn’t know why she lied, but she did. Maybe she just didn’t want to deal with having to explain everything. “No, I’m just drunk. I’m just drunk… Sorry for ruining your night.”

“No, you’re not ruining anything,” Soyeon whispered, gently rubbing her back. “Minnie has some spare rooms, you can sleep here? Or maybe you can stay with Shuhua, doesn’t she live nearby?”

“Mhm,” Miyeon nodded.

“I’ll call Shuhua?” Soyeon offered, making sure to wait for a clear response. When the nod came, she slipped Miyeon’s phone out of her pocket, found the number and made the call. A few rings later and the other girl picked up. “Shuhua? It’s Miyeon’s roommate Soyeon… yeah, Miyeon’s not feeling too well… we’re actually near your place I think… yeah, I’ll send you the address, thanks.”

Soyeon hung up and turned to look at Miyeon who was resting her head wearily against the bathroom wall. Through the haze, Miyeon heard the final words, “Shuhua’s coming.”

And then she slipped off into exhausted slumber.

\------

Miyeon and Shuhua finally meet each other’s friends. It doesn’t go too well.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tick. tick. tick........ boom!
> 
> well....... happy halloween? *runs away and hides*
> 
> who do you want to yell at the most right now? minnie or me lol  
> drop your thoughts down below fam


	8. Miyeon and Shuhua finally meet each other’s friends. It doesn’t go too well

**_Chapter 8:_ **

Miyeon and Shuhua finally meet each other’s friends. It doesn’t go too well.

\------

When Miyeon opened her eyes, she was in bed.

And because the first thing she saw was Shuhua, it wasn’t too hard to guess whose bed it was. The girl was lying beside her, carefully watching over her like she could disappear at any moment. And with the way her head was pounding, she almost wanted to.

Miyeon winced in pain and that was when Shuhua broke the silence. “Headache? I have Advil.”

“No…” The teacher pawed at her eyes for a moment, then realized that that wouldn’t make her head stop hurting. “Actually, yeah.”

She felt the bed move as Shuhua turned to her nightstand. When the younger girl turned back, she had a bottle of water and enough painkillers to make her human again.

Miyeon sat up and gratefully drank down the tablets. Shuhua stayed close beside her, fingers idly tracing over the sheets and eyes attentively watching her face.

“I’ll be fine,” the teacher whispered, a bit embarrassed.

“I know,” Shuhua confidently responded. “I won’t let you go until you are.”

Miyeon smiled at her words. Shuhua was so good at this—making her feel better. She cleared her throat before asking, “What about work?”

“You can go. Your students will just have to deal with me hugging their teacher all day.”

“Really?”

“What? Don’t believe me?” Shuhua moved closer with a smile, setting her back against the headboard. Then she carefully pulled Miyeon towards her until she was almost draped over her lap and held her in the world’s most comforting embrace. The teacher practically melted into it. “You think I can’t hold you forever?”

And Miyeon chose not to respond to that at all. She just lay there, resting her head against Shuhua’s chest. She let herself be held and felt her body slowly start to heal from the events of the previous night.

Shuhua’s room had large windows covered with curtains that blocked out most of the sunlight. They must’ve been cracked open at least though, because she could hear the sounds of birds chirping from the trees outside. Not a lot of cars or people were out and about in the neighborhood this morning, just birds.

“I don’t remember you picking me up,” Miyeon said after a few moments of silence between them. “Soyeon called you…”

She felt Shuhua stiffen a bit before she responded, “Yeah… Soyeon called and told me to come get you… She sent me an address—one of your friends?”

“Yeah.” And then Miyeon corrected herself, “Soyeon’s friend. Minnie.”

“I got there as soon as I could. You were in the bathroom. Soyeon told me she’d tried to get you to the couch, but you didn’t want to move… You said…” Shuhua went quiet for a moment and Miyeon felt her heartbeat pick up in her chest. She didn’t remember anything after the phone call. There was no telling what she could’ve let slip with how drunk she’d been. “You said you wanted to leave, so we took you back here.”

She wanted to believe that was all she’d said, but Miyeon sincerely doubted it. In any case, it must not have been anything too incriminating since she was currently in Shuhua’s arms. Surely her girlfriend wouldn’t have been quite so touchy if she knew she’d kissed someone else last night. And it sounded like Soyeon had come back with them too? Maybe her roommate could give her a clearer breakdown of what had happened.

“Soyeon’s here?”

“Hmm?”

“You said you guys took me here? Did she sleep over?”

“Oh,” Shuhua’s voice rumbled in her chest as she spoke. “No, she didn’t come. My friend drove me over. And she helped me bring you up here.”

“Your friend?”

“Yeah. Soojin.”

And Miyeon didn’t know why that moment felt as weighted as it did, but it left her feeling like she’d learned something very important.

She didn’t know much about Shuhua’s friends apart from what she’d seen on her Instagram. There were a few recurring faces, but none that looked like more than acquaintances at best. She couldn’t remember seeing a Soojin.

But this Soojin had been kind enough to drive Shuhua to go pick up her drunk girlfriend. In the middle of the night. To help take care of said girlfriend for however long she’d needed to.

Miyeon didn’t know a single thing about Soojin, but she knew she had to thank her.

“Tell her thanks… and I’m sorry I was so embarrassing.”

“You can tell her yourself when she comes back with breakfast.” Ah… So Soojin had stayed over too. “I didn’t really have any food that wouldn’t make you sick so she offered. She’s a good friend.” She felt Shuhua’s body move as she nodded. “It’s hard to find really good friends, but I’ll share her with you. You need good friends too.”

And Miyeon didn’t need to be a teacher to pick up on those obvious hints.

So, with a deep breath, she finally asked, “What did I say last night?”

“… A lot.”

“About?”

“Hmm… you were sad,” Shuhua carefully revealed. “I don’t want to make you feel like that again so soon.”

Miyeon reluctantly pulled out of the embrace and sat up against the headboard beside her girlfriend. She looked down at her hands as she forced out the words, “Tell me.”

Shuhua examined her face for a long moment. And then, the truth. “Minnie kissed you.” Quick and painful like ripping a bandaid off an open wound. “She kissed you… She listened to us have sex… She tried to force herself on you—”

“She didn’t force—I mean… I mean, it wasn’t that bad—” She stuttered out.

But Shuhua wasn’t having any of her half-hearted attempts to downplay it. “Miyeon. Do you know how long you stayed up crying last night?” No, she didn’t know. But that probably helped explain why her head was hurting so bad when she woke up. “I don’t care if she said please, you didn’t want it, right?” And then the younger girl’s voice softened slightly. “Right?”

And Miyeon could only nod.

She wanted to cry again right now too.

“Don’t be ashamed. This is her fault, not yours.”

“I just… That morning… I knew we shouldn’t have, I _knew_ it…”

“We did it in _your_ room in _your_ apartment,” Shuhua heatedly responded. “She doesn’t live there. And even if she did, that doesn’t give her any right to—wow—” She roughly ran a hand through her hair. She was seething now. “—If you’d told me while we were still at her place, I really would have punched her. Seriously.”

“Come on,” Miyeon tried in vain to calm her down. “I just won’t talk to her again. That’s all I need to do.”

But Shuhua was still building up steam. “And your roommate too? Soyeon?” She scowled. “What was she doing leaving you alone with such a fucking creep? These are the people she’s friends with? Wow—Birds of a fucking feather.”

“No, she—no.” Miyeon’s voice cracked but she had to defend her roommate. “Soyeon had nothing to do with this.”

Shuhua scoffed in dismissal. “Yeah, how do you know? Did you ask her? Fuck, I can’t believe—” And then it looked like her body just couldn’t sit still anymore because she sprang to her feet and started pacing in front of the windows. She turned to face Miyeon as she vented. “You know, when I went to pick you up, she wouldn’t look at me. Why? What does she have to feel so guilty over? What was she so scared I’d find out?”

“It’s not that at all,” the teacher weakly responded. She buried a hand in her hair, in need of an anchor. “We were talking about you earlier in the night, before—that’s probably why. She was embarrassed, that’s all.”

“Embarrassed? You know who’s going to be fucking embarrassed—”

And the sound of the doorbell ringing washed over anything else that could be said.

Shuhua cut herself off and seemed to finally realize just how upset she’d gotten. She took a deep breath and looked down at her feet, hands settling pensively on her hips. Miyeon watched her from the bed, feeling the possible strains of another headache coming on. It’s not like she could blame her girlfriend for reacting this way, but it only helped fuel the teacher’s belief that this entire mess was all her fault. She pulled the sheets up around her shoulders in a bid for comfort.

The doorbell rang a second time and Shuhua finally moved.

She briskly walked out of the room and Miyeon could just faintly hear the sound of her opening the front door for whomever it was. Most likely Soojin. Some whispered conversation followed and then, a few minutes later, Shuhua was back.

But she looked a bit sheepish instead of angry now.

“Soojin’s setting up breakfast. Do you want to shower first or…”

“I’ll shower.”

There was no way in hell she was meeting Shuhua’s friend looking as messed up as she probably did. She didn’t even care that the girl had probably seen her in a worse state the night before.

“Okay. Bathroom’s through there. Towels and toothbrush… Come out when you’re ready.”

\--

Soojin was… quiet.

If Miyeon had had ten guesses for who Shuhua’s close friend would be, she would never have guessed someone like Soojin.

They were all sitting on Shuhua’s plush couch, eating the food Soojin had bought for them.

And the girl was tall, which felt ironic for someone who had such a small and non-threatening presence. Like if she didn’t have her height at least, then there’d be nothing stopping her from just disappearing whenever she wanted.

Whereas Shuhua was loud and confident, Soojin was quiet and so, so shy it was almost painful.

How in the world had the two become friends?

“Are you feeling any better?” Soojin practically whispered.

And it was only when Shuhua turned expectantly towards Miyeon that the teacher realized the girl had been talking to her. “Oh. Yeah, um… My head was hurting before, but—”

“Did you give her the Advil?” Soojin turned to Shuhua with a raised brow. The younger girl quickly nodded as if scolded.

“Yeah, she did,” Miyeon needlessly confirmed. The dynamic of the two friends was so interesting to watch. But… she couldn’t help feeling like…

“You need to buy some more soon,” Soojin quietly reminded, returning to her eggs. “And eggs.”

“Or maybe you can get them for me?”

“No.” Soojin shut Shuhua down without a second glance.

“Fine… This week?”

“Next week. You have that Dior shoot, remember?”

“Ah, you’re right.”

Miyeon couldn’t help feeling like… there was something she was missing here.

She prodded at her food, deep in thought. Was she jealous? No, that wasn’t it. She was just a bit surprised—that was the best way to put it. She’d known Shuhua for almost two months now, and she felt like they’d gotten better at the whole communicating thing since their big fight.

She’d never heard of Soojin even once.

And watching them now, it felt like the girl was apparently a big part of Shuhua’s life. She drove her around, helped her with her drunk girlfriend, knew what was and wasn’t in her kitchen, knew her sporadic influencer schedule…

It almost felt like… no.

“Thanks for coming to pick me up last night.” Miyeon had manners, at least. Whatever other thoughts she may be thinking, it didn’t change the fact that Soojin had been a big help.

“It was no problem…” The girl shyly replied.

“JinJin offered to drive when she heard. She doesn’t even like driving at night, but that’s the kind of friend she is,” Shuhua proudly boasted. She’d finished her food and had thrown her arm around Miyeon while she finished hers. The teacher could feel how excited she was to talk about her friend.

“I was already here, so…” Soojin bashfully insisted.

And she regularly hung out with Shuhua at her apartment… Miyeon felt like she needed a switch to turn off her overthinking brain right now. In any case, she’d definitely lost her appetite. She wanted to say it was the hangover’s fault, but that argument felt flimsy at best.

She put her plate on the coffee table and Soojin immediately took that as an opportunity to escape. The tall girl gathered all of their plates and carried them off into the kitchen. The sound of the sink faucet turning on came a moment later.

And then there were two. But it felt like there was something lingering in the air between them. Some words that had been left unsaid. It made Miyeon feel slightly uncomfortable in Shuhua’s arms for the first time ever, but she didn’t know why. Though she had to admit that she had a few guesses.

Miyeon angled her body slightly towards Shuhua, but she didn’t look at her just yet. She started with a simple question. “How long have you two been friends?”

And it was because Shuhua was practically side-hugging her that Miyeon could feel her body seize up in… what? Shock?

“Um…” Shuhua furrowed her brows a bit before answering. “Not long. Just before me and you met, actually.”

“Really?” Miyeon crossed her legs. She could feel herself slipping ever so slightly into her teacher persona but she didn’t do a single thing to stop it. Tightening her words, projecting an image of calm, cool, collected. Or maybe it was just her last-ditch attempt to mask the rising fear in her gut. “You two seem so different—I’m curious how you met.” She felt strangely nervous as she spoke. And then she finally looked up into Shuhua’s eyes. “Through friends?”

She wasn’t jealous, but… God, why did it feel like there was something off here? Why did she have these sneaking suspicions—

“Not really. Through… It’s kind of awkward, actually,” Shuhua said, face screwing up into a grimace. “It sounds bad, but it’s not. Just… just awkward.” She bit her lip, then nodded once as if to convince herself. Then she turned to face Miyeon. “Don’t freak out, okay?” 

And those weren’t words that you ever wanted to hear from your girlfriend.

“Why would I…” Miyeon’s brow furrowed. She had thoughts running through her head faster than she could keep up with. All bad. All absolutely worst case scenarios. All seeming more and more likely the longer she looked at Shuhua’s slightly guilty face. “Why would I freak out?” She finally got out.

“We met on Tinder.”

Oh.

“… Oh.”

And what else do you say to that?

What the hell else do you say when your girlfriend tells you she met her best friend on Tinder? At practically the same time you and her started dating.

“Oh... Okay.”

“See? It’s awkward, isn’t it?” Shuhua sighed.

Awkward didn’t even begin to describe it.

Tinder?

Fucking _Tinder_?

“I’m sorry, can you—can you explain it more? I—” And it was only because Soojin was barely a room away that Miyeon could keep her cool. “You met through…”

“Through Tinder, yeah.” Shuhua nodded, keeping eye contact as easily as if they were talking about the weather. She explained, “We went out on a date and it didn’t work out. But we became pretty good friends after that. She’s helped me a lot.”

Miyeon had to sit forward to digest this new piece of information. And as she slipped fully out of Shuhua’s hold, a small frown pulled at the younger girl’s lips in response. “Before we met?” Miyeon wanted clarification, but she already could feel herself starting to lose it.

“Yeah.”

“How long?”

“Miyeon…”

“Just—” She held up a hand to stop whatever complaints Shuhua had. “Just tell me so I can—I want to understand how—”

“She’s my friend,” Shuhua insisted.

“And before that, she was somebody you wanted to fuck, so just—” Miyeon closed her eyes to try and calm herself down. But she couldn’t. The pieces were quickly falling into place and she absolutely hated the picture they were making. She clenched her jaw. “You said you went on a date with her. How long before we met?”

“… Two weeks.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Shuhua replied a bit snappishly.

“Okay.” Miyeon scooted almost to the edge of the couch, then sharply turned back to face the other girl. Her chest heaved with her breaths now, and she knew there was no longer any hope for calm. She’d rocketed right up into freakout territory in no time flat. She was seeing red. “And when did you find out that it _wouldn’t work out_? Before or after we started seeing each other?”

“What? Why does that even matter?” Shuhua asked with a frown. And maybe she’d cottoned on to Miyeon’s rising temper, but her response did absolutely nothing to cool it down.

“Please, just answer the question.”

Shuhua scoffed, sitting up in her seat. “Why? Why should I? Seriously, Miyeon—"

“No,” Miyeon angrily shook her head. “Don’t turn this on me. Don’t you dare try to put this on me.”

“I’m not!” Shuhua threw her hands up in frustration. “It doesn’t even matter—it doesn’t! When did we call it off, who cares?”

“I care, Shuhua,” She growled out. “I fucking care!”

“Well, I don’t!” Shuhua fired back. “And you shouldn’t either!” They stared at each other for a long tense moment, before Shuhua glanced in the direction of the kitchen and took a deep breath. She toned down her voice and carefully said, “Honestly, I’m not trying to fight with you, but I’m _telling you_ it doesn’t matter—"

Miyeon scoffed. “It wouldn’t if you’d just answer the question—”

“What? You’re trying to say that I cheated on you?” And Shuhua finally gave up all pretenses of calm. “You think I cheated on you? Is that what you think?”

“Then tell me you didn’t!” Miyeon finally exploded. She was at her limit. No, scratch that, she was so fucking far past her limit right now, it was a wonder she was still seated. She didn’t know how she knew, but it felt like the answer was staring her right in the face. Whether this was her intuition or fear speaking, she honestly didn’t care. Now that she’d latched onto the idea, nothing else mattered. “If it’s not true, then say it! Stop hiding everything—”

“Fine!” Shuhua snapped, face hard and angry. “I didn’t cheat on you, I didn’t cheat on you, I didn’t _fucking_ cheat on you—”

But Miyeon knew that wasn’t the whole story. “Good, now when did you stop seeing her? Before or after we started—”

“I didn’t fucking cheat on you, Miyeon! I didn’t!”

“Then why won’t you answer?!” And Miyeon flew to her feet then, unable to stay seated any longer. Her body felt like it was buzzing—that all too familiar buzz of another fight with Shuhua. Why, why, why were they always fighting? “What’s so wrong with telling your girlfriend the truth? Or did you forget that _I’m_ your girlfriend and not—”

“Oh fuck off! Fuck off,” Shuhua spat out, vaulting up out of her seat. She rounded the couch in a few steps, then turned back angrily to face Miyeon, stabbing her finger in her direction. “If we weren’t dating, then it’s not cheating and _we weren’t dating_!” The younger girl yelled out. “So don’t get angry over something that didn’t happen!”

“But something did happen between you two,” Miyeon ground out, blood rushing past her ears. She was dead positive about it now. The way Shuhua was reacting, there had to be something. This wasn’t her paranoia or jealousy or anything like that—Miyeon felt like a veil had been lifted from her eyes. She shook her head. “You won’t even admit it.”

“Because I’m not a fucking cheater!” The younger girl yelled. And then she sneered, her face contorting into the ugliest expression Miyeon had ever seen her make. “Do you want to know every other person I had sex with before I met you? Huh? Is that what you want? See how stupid that sounds?”

Miyeon stood there for a moment in shock. The way Shuhua was looking at her was just so… It was like she could’ve been any other person on the street to her. Not her girlfriend. This was definitely not her girlfriend. Why couldn’t she just say it…? “And now I’m the stupid one? Of course.” She looked around the room, eyes falling on the open kitchen doorway. Soojin had definitely heard everything. Was she thinking about how stupid Miyeon was too? “Of course.” The teacher felt a hot flush of embarrassment at the entire situation. She didn’t want to be right, but if she was—then having the ‘other girl’ in the other room felt like she’d already lost. She didn’t want to be here. “I’m going home,” she declared, blinking back tears.

And the sudden end to their fight caught Shuhua off-guard.

Her face transformed back into some semblance of the girl Miyeon knew. “Miyeon, come on—”

But Miyeon had had enough. “Just don’t.”

She hurried back to Shuhua’s room—why did she leave her phone in there? Why hadn’t she charged it last night?

She walked fast. But by the time she got into the bedroom and had her hand on the charger, Shuhua was at the door right behind her.

“You’re not leaving like this.”

“I’m not drunk anymore, I can go anywhere I want.” Miyeon yanked the phone from the plug, turned to grab her clothes, but—

Shuhua had crossed the room quickly, trapping her in a hug as she tried to leave.

“Let me go!” Miyeon screamed, more out of surprise than anything.

“Hey! Hey, hey, hey!” Shuhua tried to calm her down. “Hey!” Then she finally slapped a hand over Miyeon’s mouth in a move that made the teacher’s eyes widen in disbelief. She couldn’t be fucking serious— “Let me explain first, let me explain,” Shuhua desperately rushed out. “I’m not leaving and you’re not leaving and we’re going to talk about this, okay?” Miyeon could feel the younger girl’s heart beating like a drum inside her chest. “I want us to talk. Please. We promised to talk.” The girl pleaded with her eyes, begging Miyeon to hear her out.

And… for better or worse, Miyeon felt herself gradually calming down. Because a part of her hoped that she was wrong. She hoped, as ugly it was, that she really had just let her sudden jealousy get the better of her. That she’d lashed out over nothing but fear of not being enough for the other girl. She desperately hoped that she’d gotten it all wrong.

But Shuhua’s hand on her mouth had to go. All it reminded her of now was that morning in her apartment two weeks ago when Minnie had listened in on them. She didn’t want to remember that, so she shook her head until Shuhua got the hint.

The younger girl completely released her once it was obvious she wasn’t going to bolt anymore. Then she went over to her door and softly closed it.

At Miyeon’s incredulous look, she explained. “Soojin’s still here.” And Miyeon had to wonder if Shuhua got a kick out of reminding her about girls she really didn’t want to think about. She was 2 for 2 now.

“If you want to talk, talk.”

“Sit down first.” Shuhua gestured to the bed. Another raised eyebrow, but the younger girl just walked over and sat down. Miyeon eventually acquiesced and sat beside her on the edge of the bed. They stared ahead instead of at each other and that was probably for the best. “I’m not going to tell you not to freak out again—it didn’t work last time.”

Miyeon sighed. “Just tell me the truth.”

“… Yes, we had sex.” And finally hearing the truth like that… even after all her suspicions… it fucking hurt.

Miyeon blinked carefully and took a deep breath. “Before we started dating?”

“Yes.”

“And… after we started dating?”

“Before we finally got together, yes.” Shuhua nodded.

And hearing her fears get confirmed one after the other like this… Miyeon took a moment to put her thoughts together. Trying to map out a series of events that she hadn’t known about before. “You… You met her on Tinder before me. Had sex. And then you met me. And then—”

“There were those three weeks, remember? You were too busy for a second date, so… I thought you just weren’t interested.”

Miyeon bit at the side of her lips. “So you had sex with her again… Did you… Were you together?”

“No,” Shuhua shook her head. “We only went on one date at the start. She said—” The younger girl lightly scoffed as she remembered. “She said I was too young for her. Not age, but the way I act. We’d never work as a couple, so we agreed not to try it.”

“So you were just having sex.”

“Yeah. But we stopped once you and I became official. I’d never cheat on you. I’m being honest about that.”

Miyeon pulled her legs up so she could hug her knees. She felt like a lonely island right now, being battered by cruel waves from all sides. She was so, so tired. “And when we broke up? Back then, did you two…”

“… Yes.”

Miyeon let out a shaky breath. Ah. Fuck. This really… really fucking hurt. She knew it was her turn to say something, but she didn’t know what. So she just opened her mouth and let the words weakly fall out. “I… I’m sorry I’m asking all these questions, but… Do you see how weird this is for me? You and her…” She covered her eyes with her hand, trying to blink back the sudden flood of tears. “Think about it from where I’m sitting. Seriously… She’s a big part of your life and the only reason you’re not fucking each other is because we’re together?” She dropped her hand and turned to stare incredulously at the girl beside her. Shuhua eyes were as wet as her own, tears threatening to fall at any moment. “If that’s the only reason, then what happens if we break up again? How do you think that makes me feel?”

“I’d never cheat on you,” Shuhua uttered brokenly.

“But you can’t promise that the second I’m gone—”

“Then, don’t leave.”

Those words were the final straw for Miyeon. She had to cover her eyes again as the tears finally spilled out. She didn’t want to cry in front of Shuhua, but here she was. This was just all too much for her. Last night and this morning had completely broken her down.

Shuhua continued, “Look, why are we talking about something that’s not going to happen? We’re together now, so let’s be together. You and me. Not Soojin or Minnie or anyone, okay?” She felt the younger girl scoot closer. “I don’t like seeing you like this. It makes my heart hurt.” Shuhua’s voice trembled as she spoke. “I want to hug you. Please, can I hug you?”

Fuck.

And Miyeon didn’t want to feel like this. More than anything in the world right now, she wanted the kind of comfort that Shuhua was so good at giving. That’s the Shuhua she wanted—the one who hugged her right after she woke up this morning. Not the one who was apparently sleeping around behind her back. And if it wasn’t really cheating—then why did Miyeon’s heart feel like it was breaking all the same?

“Let me hug you.”

And all Miyeon could do was nod.

The moment the younger girl’s arms wrapped around her, Miyeon completely let go. Sobbing so hard it felt like her body was trying to purge itself of everything that had happened in the last 24 hours.

It was no wonder then that she grew so tired, so exhausted, so absolutely bone-weary… that she fell asleep right there in those arms.

\------

Miyeon and Shuhua don’t break up—but at this point, they really, really should.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, i heard u guys were wondering when Soojin would show up. well...
> 
> all you shuhua enthusiasts after the last chapter, how u feeling lol
> 
> drop your thoughts in the comments fam, whose side are you on?  
> option a: shuhua  
> option b: minnie  
> option c: they're all terrible


	9. Miyeon and Shuhua don’t break up—but at this point, they really, really should

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, all of you on team minnie... sorry

**_Chapter 9:_ **

Miyeon and Shuhua don’t break up—but at this point, they really, really should.

\------

When Miyeon woke up _again_ , it was well into the afternoon.

She was in the same bed, in the same apartment—but this time, she was alone. Her nose was stuffy and it made her head feel like an oversized balloon. But no headache though, thankfully.

She carefully sat up and looked around for her phone.

Before she inevitably got up to find Shuhua, she wanted a few more moments to herself. She knew Soyeon was probably still worried about her from last night, so she should probably let her know she was okay.

Well. As okay as could be anyways.

She found her phone on the charger again and it brought an uncertain smile to her face because it had to be Shuhua who’d put it back there.

And sure enough, she had several missed calls and texts.

What surprised her, though, was that a good chunk of them were from Minnie.

Her thumb hovered over the notifications, before deciding just to ignore them all. Instead, she went directly to her contacts and called Soyeon.

“You’re alive, thank god,” her roommate greeted.

“Yeah,” Miyeon croaked out with a tired smile. “Sorry for not checking in with you earlier. This morning was… something.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah… Maybe… I don’t know.” And that was the truth. She didn’t know how to feel about everything that had happened. It would probably take her a good few days to process it all.

“Okay…?”

“I’ll tell you more when I get back,” she pushed it off, not really believing she’d follow through on that promise. “But, I’m alive and my hangover’s finally gone, so... I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so... Listen,” Soyeon’s voice dropped in volume. “If you need anything, just let me know, okay? I’ll come pick you up. Anytime, anywhere.”

“Thanks,” Miyeon said with a grateful smile. “I’ll be back tonight, so no wild sex parties.”

“Noted. One wild sex party coming right up.”

“Shut up,” Miyeon laughed. But she appreciated the banter. “See you later.”

“See ya.”

They hung up and Miyeon just stared at her phone. Trying to muster up the courage she needed to leave the room.

But, as always, Shuhua made the first move.

A knock came at the bedroom door, making the teacher look up. Shuhua cracked open the door and poked her head inside.

“I heard you talking, so I figured you were awake.”

“… Maybe I talk in my sleep.”

“No, you don’t,” Shuhua denied knowingly. She pushed open the door and gestured back out to the living room. “Want to watch TV with me?”

Miyeon didn’t answer for a moment, giving the question more weight than necessary.

The younger girl saw her hesitation and rushed to add, “Soojin’s gone, by the way. It’s just us.”

Ah, so she wasn’t going to just ignore the whole Soojin thing.

But, now, Miyeon found that it was the last thing she wanted to talk about. Especially since she hadn’t come to any sort of conclusions about how she felt about it herself. She wasn’t prepared for another conversation like that with Shuhua. She feared their relationship might not make it through in one piece. And… she liked Shuhua. She really, really liked Shuhua. And how she made her feel. Most days.

“A movie sounds good—”

Just then, her phone started ringing in her hand. Miyeon glanced down and felt her heart skip a beat when she saw Minnie’s name on the caller ID.

She didn’t answer. But Shuhua noticed.

The young girl walked over and was just in time to see the name on the screen before the call dropped. Her eyes hardened and her jaw tensed.

“You should block her,” she coldly stated.

“A movie sounds good,” Miyeon repeated, fully prepared to just ignore the whole thing. She pocketed her phone and slipped out of bed, nudging aside Shuhua’s stiff body.

But Shuhua was the kind of person who would always say what she wanted when she wanted. She didn’t pretend and this time was no exception. “She’s going to keep calling if you don’t stop her. You have to tell her to stop.”

And what did it say that they couldn’t go two sentences without fighting again? Again? Maybe she should just go home.

No.

If she gave up now, then… No.

Miyeon took a deep breath and turned to look up into Shuhua’s frowning face. “Who cares about her? Me and you, right? That’s what you said, right?” And she got a slightly reluctant nod in response. “We’re together now, so let’s be together.” She knew that repeating the other girl’s words back to her was a cheap shot, but she took it. Then Miyeon reached up and softly caressed the frown right off of Shuhua’s face. “So… movie?”

And it felt like they were walking on eggshells around each other. Like any stray word would cause an explosion in this minefield. It was tiring.

But, they decided to watch a movie.

On the couch where they’d had their last fight, they sat and snacked and watched some random film. They talked about their upcoming week. Miyeon had a school trip coming up soon, so she was excited for that. Shuhua had a Dior shoot, to which she was convinced that she could sneak the teacher into.

It was harmless Saturday fun.

And Minnie kept calling Miyeon’s phone. Over and over and over again.

Since it was on vibrate in her right pocket, she was able to hide the calls from Shuhua for oh… just about an hour. But then there was a lull in their conversation and in the background noise from the TV. And of course her phone chose that exact moment to start buzzing like a maniac.

Miyeon shifted in her seat, trying to mask the sound with her movements. But Shuhua wasn’t fooled.

Their eyes met and Miyeon knew she was caught. She held her breath.

Shuhua didn’t say anything at first, which the teacher found to be pretty uncharacteristic of her. That is, until she said, “Do what you want, Miyeonie… If it’s what you want, do it.”

And the teacher felt like she was suddenly put on the spot.

What did she want? What kind of question was that? With how messed up her head and heart were right now, how was she supposed to know?

“That’s not fair,” she brokenly whispered.

“You won’t listen to me, so. Do what you want.”

And to punctuate her point, Shuhua grabbed her own phone and moved all the way to the other end of the couch. She busied herself with whatever notifications she had, giving Miyeon the space to… to do what? Whatever she wanted? How deceptively simple.

Miyeon wanted a lot of things, but those she chose to act on were so very few.

And they didn’t always work out. Or if they did, they came with giant asterisks attached.

She wanted to help people, so she became a teacher. But the work was hard and unfulfilling.

She wanted to get along well with her roommate, so she joined her friend group. But she’d been a circle trying to fit into a square hole—even before the whole Minnie thing.

She wanted a relationship that made her feel happy and loved, so she started dating Shuhua. But it felt like they were fighting an uphill battle these days just trying to stay together.

So, if wanting and doing was as simple as Shuhua said, why was Miyeon so bad at it? It felt so much easier to just let the people around her do it instead. And if they messed up too, then… so be it. Better them, than her.

“She’s a good person,” Miyeon found herself speaking out as her cell started ringing again. “She just made a mistake.” Was she talking about Minnie or Shuhua? She didn’t know.

Shuhua frowned heavily, but stayed quiet.

“People make mistakes—”

And the younger girl suddenly sprang to her feet, storming off into the kitchen. Miyeon closed her eyes and hung her head in defeat. This was probably the worst weekend of her life. And it was still only Saturday.

With a sigh, she decided to just get it all over with. So she answered the phone.

“M-miyeon?” Minnie sounded surprised that she’d actually picked up. “You—uh… hi. Sorry for all the calls, but… but… Hi.”

“… Hi.”

“I don’t… I don’t even know where to start,” the girl sighed. Her words were short and choppy, like she was forcing them out of her throat. “I’m sorry. I’m just so, so sorry.”

Miyeon glanced over to the kitchen door—Shuhua was still nowhere to be seen. “We were both drunk,” she rationalized.

“I wasn’t drunk when I—when I did that at your apartment.”

“… Yeah.”

“God, I feel awful.” And Minnie sounded close to tears. “But it doesn’t matter what I feel because I probably made you feel so unsafe last night…” Her voice grew shaky and deep. There was no mistaking it now, she was definitely crying. “You were in my house and I did that to you—I’m just—You must hate me so much and… I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Miyeon bit her lip, feeling her own emotions well up in response. She pressed a hand to her forehead, trying to keep her thoughts straight. “I don’t hate you,” she confessed.

“You should…”

Miyeon didn’t know how to answer, so she just stayed quiet for a long moment. The sounds of Minnie’s sniffling filled the space between them.

Her emotions felt like they were all over the place. Sad, angry, disappointed. She wanted to hang up and never speak to the other girl ever again. But, she also wanted to tell her to stop apologizing, to stop beating herself up over this… She wanted to give her a hug.

And at that moment, Shuhua slipped right back in beside her on the couch, gathering her up in a comforting embrace.

Miyeon looked over and the girl just shook her head, softly running her hand through the teacher’s hair. She plucked the phone out of Miyeon’s hands, put it on speaker and put it down on the table in front of them. And then, she softly whispered into Miyeon’s ear, “I’m here. Do what you want, I’m here.”

And Miyeon would be lying if she said that she didn’t appreciate the show of support from her girlfriend. This… this was the Shuhua that she couldn’t leave behind. This was the part that kept her tethered through all the ups and downs. And it was this Shuhua that she’d needed for this conversation with Minnie.

“I don’t hate you, Minnie,” Miyeon repeated, stronger this time. “But I don’t think we can be friends like we were before.”

Minnie cleared her throat, her crying mostly under control by now. “I get that. I completely understand.”

“And I don’t think you should come over to the apartment as much… At least while I’m there.”

“Yeah…” A sigh and then, “Yeah, I get that… But, can I just say one thing?”

“What?”

“It probably doesn’t matter anyways, but I can’t just—it would kill me if you didn’t know. If all this happened, and you still didn’t know why.”

Miyeon furrowed her brows. “Why what?”

“I saw Shuhua on a date with another girl. At the bar I work at.”

How could it be so shocking to hear something that she already knew? She knew this. She knew what this was. Even without a name, she already knew this was about Soojin. And from the way that Shuhua’s hands tightened around her, she knew it was about said girl too. To her girlfriend’s credit, she didn’t try to cut Minnie off. She let her finish speaking.

“It was that week we all went out together. Right after you guys broke up. Soyeon told me you were crying over this girl, that she wanted us to help cheer you up. She showed us a picture of Shuhua and I knew it was her. The way she was cozying up to her date, there’s no way they’d just met.” Shuhua scoffed beside her, but otherwise stayed quiet. “So I was mad she treated you so bad, but then Shuhua called you that night at the bar and… you left. You just went right back to her and I got so, so mad… She doesn’t deserve you—that’s all I kept thinking. Someone who sleeps around behind your back—”

“Wow. She _must_ be a writer, look at all the shit she’s making up,” Shuhua hissed, finally breaking her silence.

“That’s why I stayed that morning,” Minnie continued on, thankfully not having heard the interjection. “I wanted to know why you’d take her back after what she did to you.”

“And now she’s a hero. Look. She’s a pervert because she cares.”

And Miyeon couldn’t take all the voices competing for her attention—including her own—any longer. So she finally spoke up, “You thought she cheated on me.”

“I know she did,” Minnie confidently replied.

Shuhua threw her head back in muted disbelief, laughing quietly to herself. But it wasn’t funny. Not to Miyeon, at least. None of this was funny since it had caused so much pain.

“I know she did,” Minnie repeated. “And I messed up last night, I know that. But I never got to ask you why you took her back. And then I got to thinking that… maybe you didn’t know what she did at all.”

Miyeon dropped her head into her hands.

Good god, this was… this was insane.

So, Minnie had known about Soojin this entire time and she’d tried to warn her? Or something to that effect if you took out all the stuff that had also happened last night. It was… very hard to overlook it though.

“So, you kissed me because…”

“Because she’s a fucking liar,” Shuhua unhelpfully supplied. But Miyeon wasn’t asking her. The teacher roughly shoved the girl away in warning. She needed to shut up and let her handle this on her own.

“Because I was jealous. I’m not gonna lie about that,” Minnie answered. And it was so refreshing to hear the usually cagey girl finally talk about her emotions like this. Was it because they were over the phone that made it easier for her? Or was it because she felt like she had nothing left to lose at this point? All or nothing. “I was jealous and I was drunk and… I love you.”

Oh.

Wow.

Miyeon got the shock of her life when she heard those words.

And then she got the second biggest shock of her life when she heard the loud, barking laugh that Shuhua let out in response. Gone were the snide remarks and quiet commentary, this sound was meant to be heard—and there was no doubt that Minnie had heard it.

The musician paused for a moment after her confession, probably startled by the sudden noise. But then, she evidently chose to ignore it because she went on to declare, “And you deserve someone who loves you and only you, not—”

“And what?” Shuhua suddenly yelled out, shooting up out of her seat. She towered over the phone like she was ready to go to war. “You think that’s you, Kim Minnie?”

“Don’t—” Miyeon tried to pull her back, but the floodgates had been blown wide open.

Shuhua yanked her arm away and advanced menacingly, venom dripping from her words. “You think you know everything, huh? You listen to us fuck one time and suddenly you know everything about our relationship? Now I’m the devil and you’re the hero, Kim Minnie? Is that it?”

The other girl stayed quiet, but the line stayed connected, so she was still there.

But Shuhua was relentless. “Talk if you love talking so much! You couldn’t shut up two seconds ago and now what?” She scoffed. “Oh, that’s right. You love listening—that’s right, I forgot. That’s what gets you off! Well, try to keep your hand out of your pants this time, you little pervert!” And it just kept getting worse and worse and worse. Miyeon felt like she was watching a trainwreck on constant repeat. “If you want to know what it’s like, I’ll tell you. You’re desperate, right? That’s why you keep forcing yourself on girls who don’t like you? You fucking creep—”

And finally the call shut off.

Minnie had hung up.

And Miyeon wished it were that easy to cut herself off from all of this too. But it wasn’t. There wasn’t a magic switch that would make her disappear for a few minutes. Nothing that would break Shuhua out of her rampaging mood. Nothing that would fix any of this.

Miyeon felt utterly exhausted.

And of course Shuhua had to be the first to speak then too. “That’s the person you want to forgive?” She asked incredulously, pointing an accusatory finger at the quiet phone. “Do what you want, Miyeon. Do whatever you want. Or leave, go—if I’m treating you so bad, go!”

But, no matter how many times Shuhua said it… No matter how many times she gave her the option… No matter how many times they crashed and burned and started back up just to crash all over again…

No matter how much pain her heart had to endure…

It felt like she had no choice at all.

\------

Miyeon loses her way, but finds a friend in the process.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha. ha. wasn't that just... fun.
> 
> so, uh... this is the part where I ask you to comment down below and tell me which team you're on...
> 
> option a: shuhua  
> option b: minnie  
> option c: miyeon, please open your eyes for the love of god  
> option d: pain


	10. Miyeon loses her way, but finds a friend in the process

**_Chapter 10:_ **

Miyeon loses her way, but finds a friend in the process.

\------

Miyeon finally got back to her own apartment at the crack of dawn on Monday morning.

Which meant that she hadn’t gotten any work done that weekend.

She spent the next few hours cramming as much grading and lesson-planning in before school started. She didn’t get a wink of sleep.

And school was hell too. Of course it was.

She had to counsel one of her students whose parents were going through a divorce, then she had to submit three boys for disciplinary actions because they kept bullying their classmates. Also, one of her girls got her period for the first time and that was a whole other rollercoaster on its own.

And at lunch!

The time of day that should’ve been the most relaxing, that precious hour of rest… She walked into the teacher’s lounge to see her desk absolutely covered in flowers. It wasn’t even Valentine’s day or her birthday or Christmas or anything. There was no card, either. The other teachers all thought it was sweet—they were jealous of her relationship, because it had to be her girlfriend, right? That nice girl who would come to pick her up sometimes with a glowing smile on her face and a flood of compliments on her lips. It had to be her, right?

And they were absolutely right. It was Shuhua.

But instead of happiness, the sight of the flowers only filled Miyeon with dread.

She spent her lunch in her classroom instead.

And the second she got home that afternoon, she flopped down on the couch and fell into the best 3 hour nap of her entire life.

It was Soyeon who finally woke her up some time around 6. Her roommate was staring down at her with a look of concern on her face, but she didn’t ask how she was. It was obvious Miyeon was _not_ okay. Instead, Soyeon gestured to the bags of takeout in her hand and asked, “Want Chinese?”

\--

With greasy comfort food in her system and a dash of sleep to heal her tired bones, Miyeon felt refreshed. Like a new woman.

So, without Soyeon even having to ask, she told her everything.

Starting from the first date, to the first fight, to the whole Minnie and Soojin fiasco. Everything. When she was finally done, she felt so much lighter.

Maybe that’s what she’d needed this whole time—an outlet. Shuhua had Soojin, which… yeah, she wasn’t going to get into that right now. But Miyeon had just been keeping it all bottled up to herself and it had been eating at her. Making her feel almost physically ill. She wondered if it all sounded as crazy to Soyeon as it did to her.

“Why are you still with her?” were the first words out of her roommate’s mouth after a few minutes of silence. “I don’t have to tell you to break up with her—it’s obvious you have to. You just haven’t.” Soyeon glanced at her, brows furrowed in concern. “Why?”

And maybe Miyeon had left out one small, teeny, tiny, little detail from her explanation. Some… photographic evidence, as it were. But it wasn’t that important, really—it had nothing to do with her current problem.

That’s why she asked instead, “You don’t think I should try to work it out with her?”

“Work out what? That she’s crazy? I think we both understand that—what more do you need to work out?”

“She’s not usually like this, it’s just this whole Minnie thing—”

“Minnie’s not the problem here,” Soyeon fired back. “And we’ll get to her later, but Shuhua?” She blew out a sharp breath, then shook her head in disbelief. “It’s all about her, that’s all she cares about. She’s the perfect girlfriend when she wants to have sex, but after that? She doesn’t care about you, Miyeon. She only cares about your body.“

“That’s not true…”

“And the way she was hiding her ‘ _friend’_ from you? No, she’s full of shit. You deserve better than that.”

Miyeon sighed, tiredly rubbing her face with her hands. “That’s what Minnie said.”

“And she’s right! She’s a stupid asshole for trying to kiss you, but she’s right.”

Miyeon pushed away her rice carton, her leg bouncing restlessly against the couch. She looked over at Soyeon with a deep frown. “I should break up with her,” she pitifully admitted.

“Yes, you should break up with her. For good.”

“She has nude pictures of me.”

And the moment Miyeon said it, she had to break eye contact. The embarrassment was still so fresh whenever she thought about it, so saying it out loud made her want to disappear off the face of the Earth. She felt like a fraud. As a teacher, it was her job to help her students, to keep them out of trouble—to stop them from doing stupid shit like this. But here she was, another stupid statistic.

She heard the hitch in her roommate’s breath and then the deep, deep sigh that Soyeon let out in response. She desperately hoped that the other girl had an answer for this too.

“Miyeon…” Apparently not.

“It was right after our first time and I don’t even know what I was thinking. I just…”

“Did you ask her to delete them?”

“I did but,” Miyeon huddled up into a ball, hugging her knees as she confessed. “She said she would, but I haven’t checked. She said she would if I asked, but, I don’t know… When she’s angry, she just gets so…” She gestured uselessly with her hands, then swiped at her slightly running nose. And she thought back to the moment when her fear had struck her the hardest. “That night we got back together, that’s what she texted me… She said she had my pictures and I just got so scared… what if she posts them? I could lose my job, I could…” She hadn’t forgotten, she’d just hoped she’d never had to deal with it again. Shuhua had promised her a new start, a better relationship. That obviously wasn’t the case.

Soyeon’s voice was slow and measured, trying to keep her from freaking out even more. “Is that why you got back with her?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know… Maybe…? I don’t think so…” Miyeon could feel the tears prickling at her eyes. But she was tired of crying, so instead she started laughing. She sounded almost hysterical. “How did things get so fucked up?”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Then who?” She asked, staring defiantly back at her roommate. “She asked me if she could take them and I said yes. _I_ said yes. Me.”

Soyeon reached out and held her knee, rubbing it softly in comfort. “You made a mistake.”

Miyeon scoffed, shaking her head at herself. “A mistake… That’s what this is... A series of really, really bad mistakes.”

And the more she thought about it, the more she knew it to be true. This whole mess had just been one bad decision after another. For everyone involved.

Miyeon should’ve never said yes to those pictures.

Shuhua should’ve never posted that first picture.

Minnie should’ve never listened to them have sex.

Miyeon and Shuhua should’ve never had sex that morning in the first place.

Minnie should’ve never kissed her.

And Miyeon should’ve never let Shuhua listen in on her phone call with Minnie.

Everything had been a mistake, an easily avoidable occurrence. Everything except… except one thing. One person, in fact. The only one who’d been a silent yet key part of the whole story, but had still managed to come out of it all unscathed. Seo Soojin.

And that made Miyeon angry. Why did it feel like her life was in shambles, yet perfect best friend Seo Soojin got to have her cake and eat it too? It wasn’t fair.

“I hate her so much,” Miyeon mumbled out, tiredly dropping her head to her knees.

Soyeon blinked at the random outburst. “Who?”

“… Doesn’t matter.”

They stayed on the couch for the rest of the night like that—talking and bitching about every single bad thing in their lives. Letting it all out and gaining strength from knowing that, even if their problems never went away, at least they had a friend who’d stick around too.

\------

Miyeon and Shuhua try to reset and move on.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gonna give u guys a little breather with this one, i see all those roller-coaster comments lol
> 
> but get ready, another chapter coming mid-week, then a super big one for thanksgiving weekend :))))
> 
> option a: soyeon, best roommate  
> option b: soyeon, best best friend  
> option c: chinese food, best comfort food  
> option d: oh shit... i forgot about the pictures :O


	11. Miyeon and Shuhua try to reset and move on

**_Chapter 11:_ **

Miyeon and Shuhua try to reset and move on.

\------

On Wednesday, Miyeon took her students on a field trip to a museum.

It was fun. Just the kind of thing that she’d needed to take her mind off of things, actually. Sure, they’d almost had to pay for a half a million dollar painting because one of her boys had two left feet, but that was a teacher problem. She knew how to handle teacher problems—in fact, she welcomed them at this point.

On the bus ride on the way back, most of the kids were tuckered out. So Miyeon got to enjoy a few welcome minutes of silence and contemplation.

And like clockwork, her mind shifted to Shuhua and Minnie. Would she ever stop thinking about those two? Apparently not. Shuhua had been in constant contact with her since the weekend. First she’d apologized for getting so mad, then she’d asked if Miyeon had liked the flowers she’d sent. Miyeon had lied and said yes.

On the other hand, Minnie hadn’t said anything at all since that call. But it’s not like Miyeon was expecting her to jump at the chance to contact her again, since that had ended so badly the last time. She couldn’t imagine how the other girl felt. She’d sent out a message Tuesday morning to the musician—an olive branch, if you will. It had simply said: _Can we talk?_ And more than 24 hours later, the text hadn’t even been read yet.

Miyeon’s mind drew the comparisons as it always did. The Shuhua who confidently did whatever she wanted, including asking for forgiveness as soon as possible. Versus the hesitant Minnie who would rather stew in her emotions than speak up.

But… that wasn’t exactly true, was it? Minnie _had_ spoken up, hadn’t she?

She was the one who’d called and texted Miyeon dozens of times over the weekend. She was the one who’d tried to fix things first. She’d taken the first step in a way she rarely ever did.

And Shuhua had shut her all the way down.

Which made Miyeon feel even worse. As someone who also struggled with going after what she wanted, Miyeon found herself sympathizing with Minnie in this case. She imagined how embarrassed she’d feel if she’d bared her heart like that only to be ridiculed and rejected… God, she felt awful.

Miyeon wasn’t even thinking about the kiss, she just wanted to set this right. For her own conscience.

**_[Shuhua 5:31 pm]_ **

_I put ur name on the list for tomorrow, so drop by if you’re free :)_

_I showed gustav ur picture and he says ur out of my league haha_

_he’s right :P_

**_[Miyeon 5:33 pm]_ **

_Who’s Gustav?_

**_[Shuhua 5:34 pm]_ **

_the Dior photographer, he’s a good friend_

_I want us to take some couple shots, so wear ur best smile :)_

_we look good together_

And the words were on the tip of Miyeon’s fingers, just begging to be tapped out. _Remember those pics we took in bed together, do you still have them? Can you delete them?_ Wouldn’t it be so simple to say that? Then the fear would leave her completely and she’d be able to make the tough decisions without having to worry about that axe hanging over her head.

But, would Shuhua delete them?

Miyeon stared down at her phone, contemplating whether she should say it or not. Well, she should. But, the better question would be if she _could_.

“Miss Cho?” Came a sleepy voice from the bus seat behind her, nearly making her jump in shock.

Miyeon tamped down on her surprise and turned to face her student. “Yes, Kimmie?”

“When’s the next field trip?” The girl asked, eyes filled with hope and excitement. It made the teacher smile. She may not always enjoy teaching, but she really did love her kids.

“Why, did you like this one?”

“Yeah, I really, really did,” the little girl rushed out. “There’s a dinosaur exhibit at the Museum of Science, can we go there next?”

Miyeon chuckled, “I’m not your science teacher. Maybe you should ask—”

“Mr. Stewart’s old and boring,” Kimmie quietly whined, but Miyeon heard every word. “I mean, he’s not as fun as you are—maybe you could chaperone?”

“Well… I could try to talk to Mr. Stewart about it, how’s that?”

Kimmie flopped back in her seat, but smiled in clear happiness. “That sounds cool. Don’t tell him I said he was boring though.”

“I won’t,” Miyeon promised. “But I will tell him you called him old.”

“Well, it’s true…” Kimmie mumbled to herself, glancing away from her teacher’s playful glare.

Miyeon turned back in her seat after that, her heart feeling light with the joy that only her students could bring. And it was in thinking about them, about the kind of role model she wanted to be for them, that she found the courage to send a text to Shuhua.

**_[Miyeon 5:49 pm]_ **

_Do you remember those pics we took in bed? The ones that we fought about before? I’m sorry to bring this up now, but can you delete them? I know you won’t do anything bad with them, but I just want to be safe. I’m a teacher and I don’t feel right having something like this out there_

Miyeon felt like she was holding her breath as she waited for the response. This wasn’t a matter of trust anymore, but safety. This was what she wanted and she hoped more than anything that Shuhua would respect her wishes.

The response came a few nerve-wracking minutes later.

**_[Shuhua 5:51 pm]_ **

_oh of course Miyeonie, don’t worry, I’ll delete them now_

_I never want u to feel unsafe w me_

_we’ll take pics u can proudly show off tomorrow, we’ll make better memories :)_

And just like that, it was over. Wow.

Wow.

Just like that…? That simple, huh? Miyeon felt a rush of relief that had her covering her mouth so none of her kids could see just how freaking happy she was. Riding on the tail end of the moment, she couldn’t help but smile at Shuhua’s last words. Their relationship might still be rocky, but her girlfriend was trying. She was trying to make it better. She’d said she would delete them and she’d kept her promise. Just like that.

Now Miyeon could finally, _finally_ put this whole picture saga behind her for good. And, in Shuhua’s words, make better memories.

\------

Miyeon learns that there are many sides to a relationship—hers has four.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's just so simple fam, just a couple of clicks and they're gone.  
> just like that :)
> 
> anyways... happy thanksgiving to all who celebrate it, hope u enjoy this little reprieve before the weekend storm
> 
> place ur bets, what's going to happen in the next chapter?


	12. Miyeon learns that there are many sides to a relationship—hers has four

**_Chapter 12:_ **

Miyeon learns that there are many sides to a relationship—hers has four.

\------

Soyeon led the way as they walked down the street, headed towards the bar that Minnie worked at. It was Thursday now, and the musician still hadn’t called or texted Miyeon back since that disaster of a phone call with Shuhua.

So Miyeon had decided that she’d go find her instead.

Soyeon had been initially against it, not willing to defend Minnie’s actions in the slightest. But she’d relented when she’d seen how determined Miyeon was. If she wanted to do this, then so be it.

But what exactly was the thing the teacher wanted to do? That, Miyeon wasn’t so sure of. All she knew was that the way they’d ended their last phone call was terrible. Whether they stayed friends after this or not, she had to clear that up at least.

Soyeon stopped in front of a swanky little restaurant that was sandwiched in between a crafts shop and a vegan café. She checked her watch. “Her first set ends at 6, and then she has a half hour break before the dinner rush.”

Miyeon nodded, taking the information in. Shuhua’s Dior photoshoot was later that evening, so hopefully she’d be able to get this over with before then. She reached for the carved door handle, but then she noticed that Soyeon wasn’t following her.

“I’ll go walk around the block—call me when you’re ready, yeah?” Her roommate said.

Miyeon raised her brows in surprise. “I thought you were going to watch me like a hawk,” she confessed.

“Come on, you don’t need me. You’re a big girl, you can handle yourself.” Soyeon nodded her head with a smile as she slowly backed away. “I’ll go yell at Minnie on my own time. See ya.” She turned and walked off coolly with a wave of her hand, making Miyeon almost burst out in laughter at her roommate. That was the kind of exit that was so obviously rehearsed, it was funny—the parting words, the hand wave, the swagger. But she _did_ look cool, so points for that at least.

Finally, Miyeon turned back to the bar and, with one last deep breath, she pulled the door open.

The very second she stepped foot inside, she was hit by a sense of déjà vu so strong she nearly stumbled.

“Welcome to the Maison d’Elhier madam, how may I help you?” The maître d’ called out primly. He eyed her more casual choice of clothing quickly before continuing, “The bar is currently open for seating, or perhaps you have a reservation for dinner?”

There was no doubt about it. This was the same place she’d had her first date with Shuhua. Why hadn’t she noticed it before? She’d thought she’d never have occasion to come this way again, but here she was. Not for Shuhua this time around though, but because of Minnie. How ironic.

“The bar please,” Miyeon finally answered his question.

He nodded once, then all but shuffled her off into the main hall. Instead of continuing on to the main seating area however, he took her towards the sprawling bar on the other side of the room. She hadn’t noticed this area much during her first time here. It was probably because she’d been too nervous to even think about drinking before her date.

On this side of the room she had a much better view of the little music corner they’d installed. She hadn’t noticed it at all before. It was nestled between two potted fern plants and had dramatic lighting to set the mood. There was a piano, a mic and there was Kim Minnie seated on a bench, crooning away as she played. Her eyes were closed, but Miyeon still moved quickly past her on the way to the bar.

Once seated, she took the menu from the bartender and smiled at him until he left so she could ‘read it through’. Actually, she was just stealing glances at Minnie.

The musician was clearly in her element here. Her soothing voice mixed well with the ambience of the whole scene and the tinkling of the piano keys felt like they were tugging right at Miyeon’s heartstrings. She wasn’t the only one enjoying it though. A few of the couples seated at the nearby tables were watching Minnie play with contented smiles on their faces. And then when she finished her song, even those who’d been deep in conversation turned towards her and gave her a round of applause. Minnie opened her eyes and bashfully bowed in response.

Miyeon quickly checked her phone. It was 5:58 pm.

If she’d timed it right, her set should be just about finished…

“Thank you for listening, everyone.” Minnie softly murmured into the mic, her fingers still idly playing along the keys. “I hope your evening’s going well so far. And… I hope you don’t mind… but I’m just going to play around for a bit… Nothing special, just… Just music.”

And she got some shouts of encouragement, along with quite a few thumbs ups thrown her way. But Minnie was already off in her own world, eyes closed once more, playing whatever melody came to her mind. It felt like she was casting a spell over the entire restaurant, but no one was complaining.

No one besides Miyeon, anyway.

The teacher frowned and checked her phone again. It was now 6:01 pm. This wasn’t a part of the plan. Minnie should be on her break right now—that’s what Soyeon had told her. Yet there the musician was, pouring her soul into her music under the pretense of doing it for her job.

This was the real Minnie she was seeing.

And watching her like this made Miyeon feel… sad.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one confused,” a soft voice suddenly said from behind her.

Miyeon turned in her seat and was shocked to see no one else but Soojin sliding onto the bar stool beside her. The tall girl picked up a nearby menu, barely sparing a glance in Miyeon’s direction. “Her set finishes at 6…” Soojin’s voice was as soft as the teacher remembered, trailing off unexpectedly at the end.

She’d thought it was just shyness before, but seeing Soojin now… the way she carried herself seemed very intentional somehow. Maybe that extended to her way of speaking too?

“Soojin,” Miyeon acknowledged her in greeting. She didn’t know quite what to say here. She’d been mentally preparing herself for some kind of conversation with Minnie—not Soojin. “Do you… come here often?”

Soojin’s lips curled up into a barely visible smirk before relaxing back to her usual blank face. “A few times,” she replied.

It took an embarrassingly long moment for Miyeon to realize what one of those times must’ve been. That time Minnie had spotted Soojin and Shuhua out on what she’d thought was a date—that had happened right here. Maybe even in this very spot. Was that why she was so happy a second ago?

Miyeon tried not to let her thoughts run wild with speculation. She didn’t like Soojin—that was a given. And that would probably be the case for as long as Miyeon and Shuhua remained together. There was no need to make a scene of it, though.

“We had our first date here, Shuhua and I,” Miyeon said. She wasn’t making a scene, she was just… making conversation.

Soojin didn’t respond to that, she just nodded.

For a second Miyeon thought that their conversation would end there. She even began to turn back towards Minnie, but then Soojin moved. The tall girl put down her menu and turned fully on her stool to face Miyeon. There was nothing the teacher could remotely decipher from the expression on her face.

“Did you come here to see Minnie?” the girl suddenly asked, surprising Miyeon.

She didn’t want to lie, but she also didn’t want Soojin running off and telling Shuhua anything before she could do it herself. So, she carefully explained, “She’s my roommate’s friend. We came together, but she stepped outside for a moment.” It was the truth, in a way. But it was also a major dodge.

From the smile on Soojin’s face, she knew it too. “But you came to see Minnie,” she repeated, not needing the confirmation. “You’re friends, right?”

Miyeon didn’t know what the girl’s angle was, but she knew Soojin was starting to steer the conversation in a certain direction. She hadn’t done anything wrong, but she already felt like she’d been caught out.

“We’re friends,” Miyeon allowed. It felt far too conspicuous to insist again that Minnie was only Soyeon’s friend and not hers. And besides, Minnie and her _had_ been friends—maybe not for long, but still. “Do you know her?” She tried to redirect the attention to Soojin.

“No…” Soojin quietly answered, and then she pointedly picked up her phone. She swiped a few times, then spoke again, “But I was hoping to…”

Miyeon furrowed her brows. She didn’t want to speculate, she didn’t want to let her mind imagine what those words might mean, but she couldn’t help—

“Not in that way, don’t worry,” Soojin giggled, obviously having seen the teacher’s expression. It was weird to hear her laugh like that because it almost felt like she was laughing at Miyeon. “I know she likes you…” Soojin murmured, eyes glancing over at Minnie then coming right back to Miyeon. She didn’t say it in an accusatory way, more like it was just an observation. A simple fact that she knew to be true. And she most definitely did know this. Because Shuhua had told her. “Annoying, isn’t it?”

… What?

And just like that Miyeon finally saw the first hints of Soojin’s real personality. The shyness was a good front because it wasn’t fake—the girl really was as quiet as she appeared. But the more she spoke, the easier it was to see that there was something else hiding there. A smugness that was persistent underneath it all.

Soojin had revealed it herself this time, just for Miyeon to see.

“Annoying…?” Miyeon asked, treading lightly. She needed more than just a peek—she wanted to see who this real Soojin was. She needed to know why… why Shuhua liked her so much.

“Yes, you feel responsible for her feelings,” the other girl answered, placing her phone on the bar in front of them and running a hand through her hair. “That’s why you’re here, right? Because she got her feelings hurt.”

Miyeon pursed her lips. ‘Got her feelings hurt’ was a very diplomatic way to describe what Shuhua had said to Minnie. But she wasn’t going to argue that point. She had a feeling Soojin probably knew word-for-word what had happened during that phone call.

“It doesn’t matter who said what, it shouldn’t have ended that way.”

“Oh… You’re going to apologize,” Soojin said with a bit of awe. “You… really are a good person.”

Miyeon bit her lip and chose not to respond to that comment.

Besides, it didn’t sound like a compliment at all.

She turned back to look over at Minnie who was still at her piano. Playing away like she didn’t have a care at all. How nice it must be to have her own little world to disappear into when she needed it.

“I should speak to her first, then…” Soojin suggested like Miyeon had any idea what she was talking about. She didn’t.

“Why?” The teacher asked, glancing back at her.

“She might be more open to your apology after… or maybe before…?” The girl tapped her finger on her phone as she thought out loud. And every second that Miyeon spent around Soojin, she became more and more sure of the fact that she absolutely hated her. It was obvious the girl was toying with her now—slipping out tiny crumbs of information and watching gleefully as Miyeon lapped it up. She spoke in a way that almost reminded Miyeon of Shuhua. It was unexpected and jarring. But whereas Shuhua’s words were natural and unfiltered, Soojin’s were carefully selected and crafted. There was a hidden intent there.

And Miyeon was getting sick of it.

“If you want to speak with Minnie, I won’t stop you,” Miyeon huffed out.

Soojin smiled. “Don’t get angry at me, Miyeonie.” And that particular nickname was one that Shuhua had started calling her lately. Hearing it come from Soojin’s lips made her angrier than she thought was possible. The taller girl knew she had a power over Miyeon as Shuhua’s trusted friend and confidante. And she was reveling in it. She wasn’t shy, she was cruel. “I’m here to help you.”

Miyeon scoffed before she could stop herself.

“What?” Soojin asked, baiting her.

Miyeon bit her lip and finally gave in. “I find that hard to believe,” she answered.

“Oh? Don’t believe me?” She raised her eyebrows at the teacher and slid her phone over towards Miyeon. At the understandably confused glance, Soojin simply said, “My password is Shuhua’s birthday. You remember that, right?”

She was baiting her, she was absolutely baiting her. But Miyeon followed her request and put in the four digits to unlock the phone.

What she saw staring back up at her very nearly stopped her heart.

No.

“Oh… I wouldn’t keep that out in the open if I were you,” Soojin commented, but she sounded lightyears away to Miyeon’s ears.

Miyeon felt like she was on auto-pilot as she moved the phone down to her lap, looking at that damn, fucking picture.

Miyeon saw herself—just woken up, her hair a mess and her cheeks a bright red. Barely covered by her bed sheets with Shuhua lying behind her. And they were staring into the camera like two young fools in love.

No.

Her hands shook as her thumb came up to swipe the picture away. But there was another one right after it in the gallery. And another. And another. All of the pictures were there.

No.

Shuhua deleted them.

She said she did. So why…

How.

Miyeon felt frozen. Cold.

“Shuhua deleted them,” she said out loud, almost as if trying to convince herself.

“And she did,” Soojin revealed. The girl had ordered a glass of something in the time it had taken Miyeon to recover. She sipped at it for a moment, then placed it back down against her coaster. “She did what you asked, Miyeonie… She didn’t lie to you.”

“Then _what the fuck am I looking at_?” She grit out through her teeth. She was tired of hearing those words. So what if Shuhua hadn’t lied to her? With the mountain of information that she just _forgot_ to tell Miyeon, lying obviously wasn’t the issue here. She felt like she was getting hot flashes with how suddenly the blood was rushing through her body now.

“Shuhua deleted the pictures she had,” Soojin calmly stated. “But you should’ve asked earlier… Before they got around to other people.”

Miyeon slammed her eyes shut, not wanting to believe what she was hearing right now. Shuhua had… sent her pictures to other people?

No.

What the fuck?

_What the absolute fucking fuck?_

“How… How many people?” She forced herself to ask.

“Just two, don’t worry,” Soojin answered, taking another sip of her drink. “And you’re in luck. They’re both in this room.”

Miyeon opened her eyes to glare at the other girl. She didn’t feel lucky—not one bit. But she tried to focus on the words Soojin had said. “Two people. Are you sure?” In the back of her mind, she realized how rotten her relationship had gotten that she was now dependent on the girl her girlfriend had cheated on her with to get this information. This all felt like a setup for a very bad joke, and she was the punchline. “How do you know—”

“Don’t be stupid,” Soojin cut her off for the first time. She shot the teacher a patronizing look. “You must’ve realized by now just how much I know about you two.” She propped her head up with her hand on the bar as she spoke. “More than you. More than Shuhua… I know everything.” She said it with such a strange detachment, it was like she didn’t even care. She continued, “Two people and you’re speaking to one of them now… And the other… You don’t think Shuhua would just send it to anyone, do you?”

She hadn’t dared to think that Shuhua would send it to _anyone at all_. But that obviously wasn’t the case. Soojin had gotten a hold of them and Miyeon had to grudgingly admit it was obvious why. Shuhua told Soojin everything, far more than any person should be revealing to someone they weren’t intimately involved with. It wasn’t normal, but it was what had been staring her in the face since she’d met the tall, shy girl. Soojin wasn’t a normal friend. She was something more.

But the other person…

There was only one other person in this room that they all knew.

“Minnie.” Miyeon didn’t need the confirmation, but Soojin nodded all the same.

“Your little musician lover,” the other girl crooned with a sly smile.

Fucking bold of Soojin to be talking about lovers in front of her. This bitch. Miyeon didn’t even bother to refute her lover claim though, because it didn’t matter. Not anymore.

Shuhua had sent Minnie her pictures.

“When?” Miyeon asked with steel in her voice. She didn’t know how she’d expected to react if her pictures got out, but it probably wasn’t this. Probably more tears, more yelling. This was a calm and focused Miyeon that was unexpected to say the least.

But she relished in it. Crying hadn’t gotten her anywhere, fighting and arguing hadn’t gotten her anywhere. It was time to try something else.

“The three of you had a little phone call on… Saturday, was it?” Soojin wondered aloud. “I wasn’t there because you got angry about something.” Miyeon felt her blood boil just listening to the other girl speak. Yes, she’d gotten angry—it was because she’d found out her girlfriend was effectively cheating her. “But I got a text while the call was going on… Shuhua wasn’t very happy about it.” That must’ve been when Shuhua had stormed off into the kitchen. So she’d been texting Soojin, huh? Of course. “So I told her to calm down, go be a good girlfriend…”

“So she came and hugged me,” Miyeon realized. It was all making sense now.

“But she’s got a quick temper, so…” Soojin finished off her drink and pushed the glass away. “She yelled at your musician and the call ended. You got upset over that too,” she said, chuckling to herself. “And Shuhua… did a very stupid thing… She wanted to show Minnie that she had something she couldn’t get.” She waved her fingers in the vague direction of the pictures and the phone still in Miyeon’s lap. “So here we all are,” she finished up with a thin smile.

Miyeon shoved the phone back over to Soojin. She felt dirty, exceedingly so. And this was something that probably wouldn’t be fixed by just deleting a picture anymore. This was something deeper.

“So if you still want to apologize, go right ahead,” Soojin continued, picking up her phone without missing a beat. “I just thought you should know some things first—”

“Don’t pretend like you care about me,” Miyeon spit out. She’d had enough. “You don’t care.”

Soojin blinked. “You’re right, I don’t,” she easily admitted. “But… Shuhua does.”

Miyeon scoffed, but Soojin’s face hardened in response. She sounded a bit confused as she continued, “Shuhua cares about you. That’s why she begged me to fix her mistake… She didn’t want you to find out.”

“Then why did you tell me?” Miyeon shot back, disbelieving. “You’re her bestest, best friend, right?”

But instead of answering, Soojin stared right past her, looking back at where Minnie still was. Miyeon could hear the sounds of the piano still, so she knew the musician hadn’t finished playing yet. Maybe Soojin was just tired of talking. She definitely looked bored enough. But Miyeon could see a tightness in the other girl’s lips, and it almost felt like her aloofness was a bit forced this time.

There was so much more to Soojin that she still didn’t know. But, at this point, she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out. It was obvious they hated each other. And their only common point was that they both cared about Shuhua in some capacity.

But Miyeon’s relationship with Shuhua was as good as dead now.

If that was what Soojin had wanted when she’d started talking to her, then she’d more than achieved that goal. Now that they had nothing in common anymore, there was no need to stretch out this painful conversation.

Fine.

It was over.

Fine.

But even as Miyeon said it in her mind, she felt a deep pain over the realization that this could very well be the end of her and Shuhua’s relationship. For good this time. Even as the problems had mounted, she’d never actually thought they’d get past a point of no return like this. She’d harbored deep, unfettered hope that if they just tried to work it out… if they just tried to be better for each other… then maybe they could make it.

She really thought they could make it.

But now…?

It hurt her even more to know that a part of her wanted to excuse Shuhua’s behavior again. That maybe there wasn’t anything ‘too bad’ that the girl could ever really do. And what did that say about Miyeon really? Was this the kind of person she wanted to be?

Miyeon took a deep, shaky breath and turned on her stool to face Minnie once again.

She noticed that the musician’s eyes were open now. And she was looking around the dinner crowd that was filtering in. Her eyes roamed until they eventually found Miyeon’s. She didn’t look surprised, so it was likely that she’d noticed the teacher at the bar some time before. But she kept playing, her eyes flicking down to her fingers.

And the music she was playing…

It was the song she’d been working on at the ‘song camp’ Miyeon had gone to just a few days ago. This was definitely meant for her. Meant for her ears only.

As Miyeon listened, the complicated webs that she’d found herself in all fell away. She felt just a bit freer in that moment than she’d been since she walked in.

“I don’t care what you came here for,” Miyeon found herself saying to Soojin beside her. “It wasn’t for me. And I didn’t come here for you.” She glanced over at the taller girl with a look of defiance. “I’m going to talk to Minnie after she’s finished and after that, you can do whatever you want.”

She didn’t wait for Soojin’s response before she turned back around. She wanted to listen to the rest of this song.

\------

Miyeon finds the words she should’ve said all along.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter officially: Seo Soojin :)))
> 
> it's always the quiet ones huh?
> 
> and the pictures are finally out. dun dun dunnnnn  
> drop your thoughts fam


	13. Miyeon finds the words she should’ve said all along

**_Chapter 13:_ **

Miyeon finds the words she should’ve said all along.

\------

Minnie finished playing a few minutes later. She stood up from her piano and gratefully bowed in the face of all the applause.

Then she slowly walked over to the bar where Miyeon and Soojin were waiting for her. She took one look at the two of them, then turned right to the bartender to order a stiff drink.

“I get free drinks, but I don’t think I’ve ever used it this early,” she informed them with a wry smile. She sat down a stool away from Miyeon as she waited. “Feels like that kind of day.”

“You played well,” Miyeon said first, trying to ease her way into the conversation.

“Thanks,” Minnie simply replied. Then her drink was served in front of her and she took a giant swig of the liquor.

Miyeon felt like she’d already started off on the wrong foot. She wanted to speak to Minnie—not to Soojin, and definitely not to the bartender who was loitering a bit closer now that he had an active customer. So she looked over at Minnie and softly asked, “Can we talk?”

“Um…” Minnie blew out a rough breath as she contemplated. She shot a quick glance at Soojin and then eventually nodded. “Yeah. Um… yeah, we can go out back if you want?” She offered, gesturing to the swinging door next to the bar marked ‘Employees Only’. “It’s private.”

Miyeon gratefully nodded and they both got to their feet. Before leaving though, Minnie met Soojin’s gaze and cryptically said, “If you don’t want to wait, that’s fine. I can text you my answer later.”

The stoic girl shook her head, holding her ground. “I’ll wait.”

“Okay,” Minnie said. Then she turned back to Miyeon with a tight smile, looking everywhere but at her eyes. “Follow me.”

\--

Minnie led her past the kitchen and through a giant door that opened out into the loading area. It was quiet, a bit smelly and absolutely empty save for the two of them.

Miyeon watched as Minnie carefully put some distance between them. She was dressed in black slacks and a fancy white shirt, almost resembling the waitstaff’s uniform. And she fiddled with the long sleeves of her top for want of something better to do. It was obvious she wasn’t going to say anything first.

God, this was so awkward.

“I don’t even know where to start,” Miyeon admitted. She knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but that was way before she’d known the full breadth of what Shuhua had done that day. Now that she did… She took a deep breath to steady herself. “This is all just so… surreal.”

Minnie nodded, staring down determinedly at her dress shoes.

So Miyeon decided to just address the elephant in the room. “Soojin told me that Shuhua sent you some things the other day. After we spoke.”

“She did,” Minnie solemnly confirmed, folding her arms across her chest.

Miyeon sighed heavily. “I’m sorry.”

Minnie’s brow furrowed and she finally looked up to meet the teacher’s eyes. There was a deep pain there. “I don’t think you—” But then she bit her lip to stop herself from finishing. She just shook her head in frustration and looked away.

No. Miyeon wanted to hear what she had to say. “Tell me.”

“I don’t think you should be the one apologizing to me right now,” Minnie let out in an angry rush of air. Her eyes snapped back up to meet Miyeon’s. “None of this is your fault.”

“I-I don’t think it matters—”

“Miyeon,” Minnie interjected decisively, stressing each word. “None of this is your fault. None of it.”

And Miyeon knew she wasn’t about to win that argument, so she gave in, sighing. “Fine. Fine.”

Then the other girl changed tracks. “Do you remember when we first met—you, me, Yuqi, Soyeon—almost a year ago?”

“Yeah.”

“Soyeon said you were the only one of us who had their life together. Not just because you had a real job, but because you were doing something you loved.” Minnie took a few steps closer, stopping before she spoke again. “You looked happy. Genuinely happy. But now…”

It wasn’t hard to see the conclusion the other girl was drawing there. Not much had changed between the four of them since they’d met, at least not job-wise. The only real game-changer to their dynamic had appeared a few weeks ago. Via a Tinder date that had led to so, so much more.

“Shuhua doesn’t make you happy,” Minnie firmly stated. A declaration and a challenge all in one. A wake-up call because she knew that the teacher needed it. Miyeon had gotten so wrapped up and buried in everything that she’d lost sight of what was important.

She wasn’t happy.

“You need to get out from under her thumb—her and that, that _vixen_ in there,” Minnie finished off, spitting out the word ‘vixen’ like it left a bad taste in her mouth.

And that brought an unexpected smile to Miyeon’s face. It was nice to see that she wasn’t the only one who loathed Soojin.

“That vixen? Soojin?”

“Yeah, her,” Minnie scoffed. And then the girl paused for a moment before adding, “You know she tried to offer me a record deal?”

No. Miyeon did not know that. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t know,” Minnie said with a wry smile. “She texted me yesterday, saying you told her you had a friend who wanted to make music. Me.” She licked her lips and then continued with a shrug, “She said she listened to my stuff and wanted to connect me with a friend of hers who works for a label.”

“Oh… wow…” That was all Miyeon could say in response to that, really. Was that how Soojin had intended to ‘take care’ of Shuhua’s picture problem? Could she really do that? It honestly sent shivers down Miyeon’s spine. To think that Soojin would go to such lengths to cover up something like this. All just for a friend…? It didn’t make any sense.

“Yeah… but I knew it couldn’t be true because there’s no way you would’ve recommended me and not Soyeon. Plus… you hate me.” Minnie chuckled self-deprecatingly.

Miyeon knew the girl was just trying to keep the mood light, but she felt like she needed to clear something up. “No, I don’t hate you,” she said sincerely.

Minnie dropped her eyes and shyly nodded her head. “Well… Thanks.”

“I’m sorry for everything that happened, by the way,” the teacher continued. “Between us and… to us, I guess.”

“… Same.”

“Are you going to take the offer?”

“What?” Minnie asked, raising her head again.

“The record label.”

“Oh, fuck no.” She shook her head in disgust. “I want to make music, but not like that. I don’t want their hush money or whatever.”

Miyeon sighed. “I know Soojin’s a bitch, but what if this label’s the real deal?” She sent the girl a look of concern. She admired the fact that the musician had principles, but this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Or technically, twice-in-a-lifetime for Minnie. If she turned it down again… “Your parents stopped you the first time, this is your second chance.”

“And I’m not going to do it just because Shuhua fucked up. I know that’s why Soojin’s doing this,” Minnie denounced. “She’s trying to protect Shuhua’s brand deals and her reputation or whatever—and she’s trying to hide it from you so you keep thinking she’s the world’s most perfect girlfriend. But she’s not,” Minnie spoke out clearly. “And I’m glad you’re finally starting to see how fucked up she is.”

Miyeon bit her lip as she took a moment to get her thoughts in order. Soojin wasn’t Shuhua’s manager so why, why, why was she doing all of this? What was she gaining from trying to keep Shuhua in Miyeon’s good graces?

But more than those two, Miyeon was thinking about Minnie. And how proud she was to have a friend who would stand up for her like this. Her friend, not just Soyeon’s.

“Don’t just do this for me,” she tried to convince her one last time, but Minnie was adamant.

“I want to make music that feels right to me. And nothing Soojin can offer me would do that.” And almost as an afterthought, she added, “I deleted those pictures, by the way. As soon as I realized what they were—long before Soojin contacted me.” She shrugged, hands slipping into her pockets. “I should’ve probably started with that, but we both know I’m not the smartest.”

“You…” Miyeon could only chuckle at the other girl. Minnie smiled back, probably happy to see that they seemed to be on better terms again. Not fully healed, but a step in the right direction. Maybe that’s why Miyeon found herself confessing in a soft voice, “I wished you’d asked me out before all this.”

Minnie stopped moving—it even looked like she stopped breathing for a few seconds. When she finally came back to her senses, she took a deep breath and nervously declared, “Well, I’m not going anywhere, so… Maybe we can talk about this later down the road… When you’re, uh… when you’re free, you know.”

“Maybe,” Miyeon agreed, smiling back at the other girl.

\------

Miyeon finds out the truth.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're almost at the finish line now fam :')
> 
> and sweet, awkward minnie has finally returned :')))))
> 
> option a: musical prodigy minnie  
> option b: awkward turtle minnie  
> option c: angsty emo kid minnie  
> option d: ... drunk minnie


	14. Miyeon finds out the truth

**_Chapter 14:_ **

Miyeon finds out the truth.

\------

They couldn’t stay outside talking for too long because Minnie was technically still on the clock. She still had a dinner set to play, so they went back inside after a few more minutes.

Miyeon felt lighter.

Not fully free yet, but she felt like she was starting to see the way out now. And the first step was waiting for them at the bar. Soojin.

As soon as they walked back into the main hall, they saw the tall girl nursing a drink as she quietly surveyed the room. Miyeon glanced at Minnie beside her and raised an eyebrow in silent question.

“Don’t ask me if I’m sure again, I’ve made up my mind,” the musician insisted.

Miyeon nodded, accepting her choice. “Okay.”

Minnie quickly checked her watch, then said, “I’ll make this quick. My set starts in three.” And with that, she hurried over to the bar.

Miyeon hung back, out of earshot, but just barely. She saw the moment when Soojin noticed Minnie approaching—or maybe she’d always known and just decided to not look at her until she felt like it. She imagined that Soojin would probably do something like that. And then Minnie started speaking. Miyeon could only see her back from where she stood, but even that looked apologetic. Even though Minnie hated Soojin, she still couldn’t help being sincere with her emotions. Deep down, she probably really did want that record deal, but she refused to take it. It was very… noble. Miyeon’s eyes moved from watching Minnie to glance at Soojin to see how she was taking it, but—

She didn’t know what she expected, but it wasn’t this.

Soojin wasn’t even looking at Minnie, she was staring back at Miyeon. For long seconds at a time she’d stare, then she’d briefly glance back at Minnie in front of her, then back to Miyeon for even longer. Towards the end, she wondered if the girl was even listening to what the musician was saying to her. She wondered if it even mattered.

Finally, Minnie nodded and stepped back. She glanced over at Miyeon and gave her a reassuring smile. And then she hurried back over to her piano in her little music corner to start setting up for her next set.

Miyeon knew it was technically her turn next to go and talk to Soojin, but her feet refused to move. In the end, she didn’t need to, because Soojin came over to her instead.

“Shuhua asked me to drive you to the Dior shoot.”

Miyeon blinked. That was… not what she was expecting to hear. At all. Maybe something related to Minnie since that was what they’d been talking about recently, but not Shuhua. She knew Soojin enjoyed baiting her, but surely she must’ve realized by now that her relationship with Shuhua was practically over? “You can tell her I’m not going.”

“I won’t,” Soojin said as she took her keys out of her bag. “I told her we’d be there soon.” And if that wasn’t the craziest thing that Miyeon had heard all day… Why? Why would Soojin say that? Why would she think that Miyeon would ever want to see Shuhua again at this point? But, of course, Soojin knew everything so she answered the question before the teacher could even ask. “Because if you don’t go, I’ll post those stupid pictures you keep crying about.”

Ah…

That’s right. Soojin was a fucking bitch. She’d forgotten that for a blissful moment.

Miyeon grit her teeth and stared defiantly up at the tall girl in front of her. “I want you to delete them.” She tried to sound as assertive as possible, even though she was aware she didn’t have any leverage here. “I don’t care about whatever you and Shuhua are doing together, but I’m done, so—”

Soojin scoffed. “Please, don’t fool yourself.” She barely looked at Miyeon as she moved back to the bar to pay for her drink. As she finished and walked back, it was clear she had no intention of stopping.

Still, Miyeon tried to speak up. “You were drinking, you can’t dri—”

“Lemonade,” Soojin said, practically tossing her receipt at her as she headed for the door.

Miyeon grabbed the slip of paper and read it to confirm that, yes, Soojin _had_ only been drinking lemonade before. That meant she was safe to drive. But, that still didn’t mean that Miyeon wanted to go with her. She stayed in her spot for a long, tense moment, even sparing a glance over at Minnie to see how she was doing. But the musician was already in her zone, playing whatever piece she’d prepared for tonight.

Miyeon was on her own now.

She crumpled the receipt in her hand and slowly made her way out of the restaurant. As she stepped out, she spotted Soyeon leaning up against a tree, waiting for her. And she also saw Soojin already halfway down the street, power-walking towards her car.

Miyeon hesitated for a brief moment before she made her decision.

“Soyeon,” she called out.

Her roommate looked up from her phone and nervously smiled. “Oh, you’re done… How was it?”

“Minnie got offered a record deal,” she blurted out.

Soyeon’s eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, what…? When? How? What label?”

“I don’t know, but she turned them down,” Miyeon stated plainly. “I think she could use a friend to talk to right now. Especially someone who knows how much this means to her.”

Soyeon’s brows furrowed and she glanced at the restaurant before looking back at Miyeon. “What about—”

“Don’t worry about me, remember?” Miyeon smiled and then she started walking backwards in the direction that Soojin had gone. “I can handle myself, so go be a good friend.”

Soyeon looked like she wanted to say something else, but instead she said, “Minnie’s still an asshole, by the way.”

“Fine,” Miyeon chuckled. “Go talk to her about that.”

“Hey, wait… You’re not going back to her, are you?” Soyeon finally asked with a frown.

Miyeon stopped in her tracks then. She could see the worry on her roommate’s face. She couldn’t tell her the words she wanted to hear because she honestly had no idea how this was all going to end. At least she knew what she wanted, though. “I’m going to make myself happy,” she replied. But because she knew that was such a cheesy thing to say, she followed it up with, “I’ll call you if I need anything, okay? See ya.”

“… See ya.” Soyeon waved back at her with a nervous smile on her face. But she let her go.

Miyeon turned around and resumed walking. She could see Soojin standing next to a car up ahead, impatiently waiting for her. Miyeon let out a deep sigh and forced herself to keep going.

\--

Soojin had her car connected to her phone’s playlist. Soft indie music filtered through the speakers as she drove. And Miyeon would never, ever admit this—ever—but they had very similar tastes in music.

She didn’t want to compare herself to Soojin, but… she was starting to see how Shuhua could be so drawn to the both of them. It didn’t comfort her in the slightest.

They didn’t talk for most of the drive—the Dior photoshoot was all the way out of the city, in some suburb that Miyeon had only heard about from her coworkers’ retirement wishlists. Which was to say that she was out of her element here in more ways than one.

Miyeon didn’t know what to say, or if she was even expected to say anything at all. She knew Soojin was the one in the driver’s seat—literally and figuratively—but what did that even mean? The girl had practically blackmailed her into going to see Shuhua, but what was she expecting to happen? Soojin had said and done everything possible to get Miyeon to want to end her relationship, yet here she was basically hand-delivering her to Shuhua. But for what?

This was all so utterly confusing.

And that didn’t even take into consideration the record deal that the girl had tried to gift Minnie. Soojin was like a fifty-sided coin, even more unpredictable than Shuhua could ever be. Miyeon wondered if the girl even knew herself what she was doing.

She glanced over at Soojin from the passenger’s seat and was once again unable to read anything from her expression. Of course, nothing new there. But Miyeon looked again—really looked—and realized that the rest of her body was starting to give off a few tells.

Her hands were holding on to the steering wheel a bit too tightly, her back was fixed a bit too straight in her seat, and it looked like she wasn’t breathing as easily as she should have been. Like she was forcing her lungs to inhale and exhale at a slow, controlled pace. But slightly too slow to be convincingly normal. But really, Soojin was the farthest thing from normal, so maybe that wasn’t much to go on.

Miyeon wanted to believe that the girl was starting to crack though. She wanted to believe that she had some way out of this unpredictable situation that she’d found herself in.

Soojin had her pictures, and had floated the idea of posting them should she feel like it. But Miyeon had a feeling that this was a last-ditch effort for the other girl. Soojin was controlled and calculating, but this thing with the pictures felt rushed and desperate. Like she was grasping at straws now that all her other plans had failed. Miyeon had no real grounds for feeling this way, but she really hoped that she was right.

So Miyeon decided to take a chance.

“Was the record label thing true?”

Soojin’s eyebrow twitched almost imperceptibly before she carefully responded. “What are you asking me? Do I know someone who could’ve made your musician’s dreams come true?” She let the question hang in the air for a moment before continuing, “I do... She was stupid to turn it down.”

Miyeon bit her lip, disappointed that she’d been right on that front. She wanted to trust that Minnie wouldn’t regret the decision she’d made, but it was hard knowing that the girl had come so close to something she’d always wanted. Not just once, but twice. And twice she’d been denied through no real fault of her own. If it wasn’t for Miyeon, then… Well, maybe she could’ve gotten Soojin’s contact in the future if things had been different. Under better circumstances, maybe she could’ve introduced Minnie to Soojin and her friend and they could’ve all been happy… Or… Or maybe not. Maybe they were always destined to blow up together like this.

“But you understand why she didn’t take it, right?” Miyeon asked some time later. She’d folded her hands over her chest to try and summon some semblance of warmth in the frosted atmosphere. “It didn’t feel right.”

“What’s right or not doesn’t matter… As long as it makes you happy.”

Miyeon shook her head. “Well, she wouldn’t have been happy.”

“You don’t know that,” Soojin confidently replied. “That’s what you want to be true, but you have no idea what you did to that girl…” She glanced over at the teacher as they pulled up to a stoplight. Miyeon held her gaze, but only barely. “You ruined her career.”

“… So now it’s my fault?”

She knew this was what Soojin was good at—plying at her insecurities to get some kind of leverage over her. And this was something that Miyeon had thought herself too. That this was all her fault somehow. But she tried to fight back against that mindset now, if only for the reason that she knew that this was how Soojin wanted her to feel. It couldn’t be true then. Miyeon wouldn’t let it be true. She wouldn’t let Soojin win this.

“I’m glad we’re finally on the same page,” the taller girl said with a hint of a smile on her lips.

“We’re not,” Miyeon refuted. But she knew that Soojin wasn’t taking her seriously. She really needed to change that. So, Miyeon gathered all the courage her body had left to offer and shakily said, “You act like you know everything, but you don’t. You’re just as clueless as me.”

Soojin snorted loudly then, visibly affronted by the claim. But Miyeon was just happy she’d forced a reaction out of the girl.

“We’re nothing alike,” Soojin practically hissed.

“That’s obviously not true, since Shuhua had sex with both of us,” Miyeon fired back. She noticed how the other girl’s hands tightened on the wheel. She was getting to her. “She has a type and—"

“I made her pick your profile, you naïve little idiot.”

The out-of-character name-calling was enough to shock Miyeon into silence. But then she realized exactly what the girl had said before that. And that practically shut her whole brain down.

Miyeon’s mouth opened and closed several times before she finally settled on uttering an incredulous, “You did _what_?”

Soojin let out a deep exhale and it looked like she regretted revealing as much as she did. But then she calmly stated, “We looked at your Tinder profile together... I told her to pick you… And Shuhua listened.”

Oh.

Okay.

Now, there were about a million and one different things wrong with that statement. And instead of giving her answers, it only left Miyeon with even more questions. Primary of which was… _what in the ever-loving fuck was wrong with Soojin_? And Shuhua too, to be honest.

They picked out Miyeon’s Tinder profile together? Why? Was this some kind of sick joke? Who does something like that with someone they claimed they didn’t want to date? Was this some kind of fetish Miyeon didn’t know about? Also, just to cover all the bases, _what the fuck_?

“Why… would you do that?”

Soojin scoffed, shaking her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Are you serious?” Miyeon was struggling to keep her cool. It was made easier by the fact that she was somewhat terrified of Soojin, but she worried that that wouldn’t hold for much longer. Not with how absurd things were getting. “You can’t just say that and not—brag if you want to brag, I don’t care. Just tell me what the hell is going on.”

Soojin lifted one of her hands off the steering wheel and brought her elbow up to rest on the car door beside her. She splayed her hand out against the side of her head, tapping an impatient rhythm with her index finger. She was thinking, it seemed.

Or maybe she was just trying to stall.

Miyeon snuck a peek at the time left on Soojin’s GPS and decided that she had to get as much out of the girl before they arrived at the shoot location. Here, trapped in a car together, they were at least forced to interact. Once they got out, there was no telling what would happen. This was a golden opportunity now—probaby the _only_ opportunity that Miyeon had to find out the truth that had been hidden from her this entire time.

So Miyeon took a deep breath and forced herself to relax in her seat. And then she carefully started prying. “You picked my Tinder profile and not Shuhua… Do you like me?”

Soojin suddenly burst out laughing. Long and loud and honest. It was probably the loudest sound Miyeon had ever heard her make, to be honest. And that set the teacher on edge. After a few seconds Soojin tried to stop, but her whole body was reacting this time. Apparently she’d heard something pretty damn funny.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she said after she’d finally managed to calm down.

“… What else am I supposed to think?” Miyeon could feel the pout on her face. She didn’t appreciate how much the other girl had laughed at her question.

“You’re supposed to think that…” Soojin bit her lip, but Miyeon’s ‘joke’ had definitely loosened her up some. She smiled— _actually smiled_ —and said, “Do you remember what your profile said, Miyeonie?”

She tried not to react to the nickname and instead replied, “Not really.”

“’Teacher. 26. Likes pets and warm hugs.’” Soojin easily recited off the top of her head, playfully dragging her words out. She was enjoying this. “It was the most… _milquetoast_ description I’d ever seen… You were pretty and simple… That’s why I picked you.”

Miyeon felt her blood rising in her chest but tamped down on how offended she felt at Soojin’s assessment of her. “That still doesn’t answer the question,” she insisted, trying to stay focused. “Why were you picking me at all?”

“Because I needed someone to make Shuhua better,” Soojin revealed with a careless flick of the wrist. “That’s the answer you want.” She replaced her left hand on the steering wheel and used the other one to pick up her phone from the center console. “She told you, didn’t she… How we went on a date but I turned her down…” Soojin carefully navigated to her text messages, making sure to keep her eyes mostly on the road. “Did she say why I said no?”

“Because… she was too childish,” Miyeon responded, her voice barely above a whisper. She couldn’t believe much of what she was hearing right now, but she answered all the same.

“She was,” Soojin confirmed. Miyeon watched as she clicked into the messages she shared with Shuhua. The teacher felt a deep, unsettling feeling roil through her, but she could do nothing to stop it. She had no choice but to let Soojin keep talking. “It was love at first sight for Shuhua… She fawned over me like a little pup…” She scrolled up through the many text messages she shared with Shuhua. There were so, _so_ many messages. Miyeon didn’t have to see them all to know—there were far more than the number of messages she and Shuhua shared with each other. “But all I could see were her flaws,” Soojin finished with a tsk.

The girl eventually pulled the car off to the side of the road once it became obvious that she needed more focus to search for the message she was looking for. The music had stopped playing in the car too, so they were locked in utter silence for a good few minutes.

Miyeon felt the sweat building up at her hairline even though the AC was on. She was a ball of anxiety, helplessly waiting for the puppet master to pull her strings. And, once Soojin found the message, she pulled with all her might.

“’I really want to see you again, Soojin. When can we—'” Soojin suddenly cut herself off and turned to appraise Miyeon who was sitting rigidly beside her. Like a kind benefactor, she graciously handed the phone over to the teacher. “Why don’t you read it instead?”

Why don’t you go jump off a cliff? Miyeon’s mind rebelled, but her hand accepted the phone without much complaint.

She didn’t want to look down, but she forced herself to. And she read.

**_[Shuhua 12:33 am]_ **

_I really want to see you again, Soojin :)_

_when can we meet?_

_I know u said you’d call, but my heart misses u too much!!_

And Miyeon had to shut her eyes for a long, painful moment. She didn’t want to see this. She didn’t want to see Shuhua say the things she used to say to her.

But Soojin pulled her strings again. “Keep reading. It gets better.”

Against her better judgement, Miyeon obeyed. In some small act of defiance though, she made sure to only read Shuhua’s texts and none of Soojin’s. That didn’t make the bitter pill any easier to swallow.

**_[Shuhua 12:35 am]_ **

_Oh… why not?_

_Didn’t you have fun?_

**_[Shuhua 12:35 am]_ **

_What is it?_

_Did I upset u? just tell me please, I swear I didn’t realize_

_Just tell me what u didn’t like and I’ll make it better I promise_

**_[Shuhua 12:38 am]_ **

_Different how?_

**_[Shuhua 12:40 am]_ **

_No, don’t hold back please, tell me_

_It’s not mean, I swear_

_I really think we could have something special together, so don’t spare my feelings_

_You could even make a list haha I don’t mind_

**_[Shuhua 12:41 am]_ **

_And I’m sorry if I sound clingy or desperate but I really, really like you_

_really_

_I promise I’ll do whatever it takes because I think you’re worth it Seo Soojin_

_I promise :’)_

And there was only so much Miyeon could read before her heart legitimately started to ache in her chest. She shut her eyes again, and thankfully Soojin didn’t stop her this time. A part of Miyeon had been hoping it wasn’t true, but here was all the evidence she needed. More evidence than she’d ever wanted to see, really.

Shuhua loved Soojin.

She really… really loved her.

“She’s impatient… She gets angry quickly and often... Sometimes she doesn’t think before she says or does something... And then when she messes up, she blames it on her way of life. She’s a free spirit,” Soojin listed out like she was reading the terrible side effects for a medication.

“She loves you,” Miyeon whispered, feeling like her heart would break.

“She does,” the girl acknowledged with a frown. “But love doesn’t make you a perfect partner.”

The teacher jerkily shook her head. “A perfect partner?” She snapped her eyes over to look incredulously at Soojin. “There’s… There’s no such thing as a _perfect partner_. Shuhua loves you,” she bitterly pointed out, her voice rough and raw. And then the words just came pouring out. “But you—all she wanted was a chance. To show you. Or you could’ve just, just let her down cleanly—just end it and not… Instead you…” Miyeon’s mouth curled in distaste as the words formed on her lips. “You picked out a… a practice girlfriend for her…? Is that what I am?” Her eyes beseechingly met Soojin’s but she could barely see anything in her blinding rage. “I’m just—I’m the little dummy she could date… and fuck… and _fuck up with_ how ever many times it takes until she finally learns how to be this _perfect girlfriend_ that you wanted?” She felt uncomfortably hot. From her face to her ears and all the way down to her chest. Her heart hurt like someone was pressing against it too hard. And every shaky breath she took in felt shorter than the last. Her eyes focused for a moment—long enough for her to see the lack of emotions on Soojin’s face. The girl was just watching her… Watching the hysteria take over. “And you—” Miyeon’s voice choked up as she tried to speak. She had to look away, her eyes losing their focus as she almost fell into a daze. “You…” Miyeon shook her head, her emotions a mess. One thing was for sure though. She wasn’t afraid of Soojin anymore… she was disgusted. “You’re just sitting there… the whole time… telling her how to act, what to say… You’re pulling all the strings, aren’t you?”

Miyeon’s voice faded off into nothing, the silence of the car taking over completely. She listened to nothing, nothing, nothing except the sound of her own labored breathing.

And with more spite than she’d ever felt in her life, Miyeon hissed out, “ _What gives you the fucking right?_ ”

Soojin didn’t speak for a long moment after that. And when Miyeon finally looked back up at her, she saw that the tall girl was steadfastly regarding her. She barely looked fazed by Miyeon’s diatribe, but her eyes held more than their usual disinterest.

“You’re telling me I was wrong?” Soojin cuttingly broached, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Knowing all of what she did during your relationship… Seeing all of that, you don’t get it?” Soojin narrowed her eyes, staring deep into Miyeon’s own. “ _You have to_ ,” she practically whispered. “And seeing how long you held on even with how bad things got, you have to see it too… Shuhua has potential… She could be so, so perfect, but she isn’t. Not yet—”

“She’s a human being, not a lab rat!” Miyeon finally yelled out in frustration. “Like—just listen to what you’re saying! It’s insane!” Miyeon felt like a valve was finally bursting inside her. She shouted because she was angry, but also because that’s what had to be done now. There was no other way to get through to this emotionally stunted girl. Soojin wanted to reason, so Miyeon refused to give her that. Instead, she would give her all the rage she’d built up over the worst period of her entire life. That’s what Soojin deserved. “Everything! This whole thing—it’s fucking insane! You, Soojin! You are just…” Miyeon furiously shook her head. “It’s not right, it’s not,” she said, finding an unexpectedly diplomatic note to finish off on.

Soyeon pursed her lips in response, her jaw visibly tensing. She let out a deep breath through her nose and then adjusted her sitting position enough so that she was no longer looking at Miyeon, but was instead staring out the windshield. Her face wore an expression that _could_ be called annoyance if Miyeon was generous enough. But the teacher didn’t feel like giving out any free emotion points. So instead, she chose to think that Soojin just looked like she’d sucked on a lemon. Or a dozen.

Was Soojin disappointed that Miyeon couldn’t see her point of view? Did she honestly think she had a leg to stand on with her ridiculous mindset? And why did she care what Miyeon thought anyway? If she was so all-knowing, so seemingly all-powerful—why did she care what someone as _milquetoast_ as Miyeon thought about her psychotic master plan?

Or was this the part in the experiment where Soojin was trying to collect feedback from the unwilling participant? Either way, Miyeon wanted bad, bad things to happen to Seo Soojin. Very bad things that she’d never dare say out loud.

“This is your fault,” Soojin murmured in a tone that almost sounded sad.

“ _No it fucking is not_ ,” Miyeon fired back from the depths of her soul. None of this was her fault. None of it. She subconsciously remembered all the times she’d thought the very same thing that Soojin was saying now. That her inaction had caused all of these terrible events. But no more. Now that she finally saw the full picture—now that she saw the person behind the curtain, she was very confident in saying that, no. Fuck no. This wasn’t her fault at all. “If you wanted a relationship, you should’ve just said so. Instead, you turned it into some kind of sick game. She’s not some toy you can just—”

“I think she loves you.”

Miyeon stopped short when she heard those quiet words. She searched Soojin’s face for some small hint of what she meant, but the girl could barely meet her eyes. Was this… another trick? Was she trying to get under her skin again?

But, no.

The longer Miyeon looked, the more apparent it became that this wasn’t something that Soojin wanted to say at all. Because she had no control over this part of the story.

This was the truth.

“… What?” Miyeon breathed out.

“Shuhua.” Soojin furrowed her brows in a some odd mix of emotions. “That’s why she’s trying so hard… That’s why she asked me to fix this after she messed up… She doesn’t want to lose you.”

And Miyeon felt like all the air was knocked out of her lungs. She closed her eyes, feeling overwhelmed in all the worst ways. “You shouldn’t be the one telling me this.”

“You wouldn’t listen if Shuhua said it now, anyways.”

“Is that supposed to be my fault too?”

“… No.”

Miyeon bit her lip and turned to look out her window at the carefree suburban traffic passing them by. How blissfully unaware they all were. She caught sight of Soojin’s reflection on the glass and took a moment to study the girl in the driver’s seat. Soojin hadn’t realized yet that the teacher could see her, so her face wasn’t quite as guarded as it usually was. And there, Miyeon finally saw an emotion she never thought she’d ever see on the woman’s face. Real fear.

“Do you remember when you asked me if it was annoying?” Miyeon asked, keeping her gaze locked on that rare, transparent image. “The fact that there was someone who had feelings for me that I couldn’t return?” She watched as Soojin closed her eyes and took a fortifying deep breath in. “It’s not. It doesn’t annoy me, it just makes me feel sad.”

A relieved smile spread out on Soojin’s red lips as the girl reopened her eyes. “You don’t love her back,” she deduced.

And that made Miyeon mad. She didn’t know why that comment was the straw that broke her back, but it did. She spun back around to face the other girl, anger shooting like darts from her eyes. But Soojin was ready, as always. Her mask was back on her smug, little face almost as if it had never left. And it might as well have been glued on with how well it fit her terrible personality. Shuhua and Minnie were selfish. Miyeon was passive and indecisive. But Soojin was just a cruel and spiteful human being.

“God, I wish Shuhua had never met you at all,” Miyeon spit out. In her mind, she saw the bright smile of her girlfriend—full of passionate, fervent, imperfect love. And she marveled at how much that smile was able to shine behind the dark, oppressive cloud that was Seo Soojin’s twisted ownership. And Miyeon felt truly, deeply sad. “We could’ve had a real shot, but you ruined that. Your selfish, little game… She fell in love with me and you ruined that for her.”

But Soojin just scoffed at her, amused at something only she knew. She reached for the steering wheel, more than ready now to get back on the road. She’d gotten her answer, so she obviously didn’t care anymore.

Soojin didn’t even look at her as she airily replied, “Without me, you two would’ve never even met.”

Miyeon shook her head. “You’re still so—”

And then Soojin started the car and brazenly pulled back onto the road. It jostled them both in their seats, but neither seemed to mind.

Soojin arrogantly continued, “Without me, you wouldn’t have gotten past your first fight… That was me,” she stressed. “I saved your relationship a million times over… so forgive me if I’m finding it a little hard to take you seriously.”

“It wasn’t your relationship to save,” Miyeon growled out. But even as she said it, she knew that there was no way she was getting through to the other girl. Soojin was convinced she was right and Miyeon was convinced she was the worst person on Earth. They were at an impasse. But that didn’t stop Miyeon from speaking her mind. Fuck Soojin. “And it honestly makes me sad that you’re a part of Shuhua’s life. You found a girl who wanted to love you, who wanted to a chance with you—but instead of treating her with respect, you turned her into a puppet.” Miyeon finally looked away from that stupid face because she’d seen enough. There was no changing someone like that. “You’re poison, pure and simple. You don’t deserve her.”

“Please spare me the speeches.”

But Miyeon forged on, because she didn’t give a rat’s ass what Soojin wanted. “And now when it looks like Shuhua finally found someone better than you to love—”

Soojin loudly scoffed. “Do you honestly think you’re better than me?”

Oh, that was the worst possible thing she could’ve said.

“Honestly?” Miyeon felt like an erupting volcano, uncaring for any damage she may cause. She completely let loose. “You want me to be honest? _Fuck yes!_ Fuck yes, I think I’m better than you, Soojin! You’re a lying, two-faced bitch!”

Silence rang out in the car for a long moment after that. Miyeon didn’t even dare glance Soojin’s way to see how her words had been received. She wasn’t scared of her anymore, she just didn’t want to see her at all… Okay, maybe she was still a little wary of her.

But Soojin didn’t freak out and threaten to post her nudes or anything.

Instead she laughed. She honest-to-goodness just straight-up laughed. And for the first time, it didn’t feel like she was making fun of Miyeon by doing so. This one felt genuine. Which, under the circumstances, was kind of messed up, but whatever.

“Did that make you feel better?” Soojin asked once she calmed down.

“Shut up,” Miyeon said, folding her arms across her chest. But she’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel even a little better after that outburst. So, she eventually admitted, “… Yes, it did.”

“So you have a backbone after all.”

Miyeon rolled her eyes at the apparent pride she could hear in the other girl’s voice.

She finally glanced over moments later when she heard the sound of the indicator being flicked on. The car had slowed down and was about to turn into the shoot location. Somehow, someway, they’d actually made it.

Their weird little heart-to-heart was coming to an end.

Maybe that’s why Miyeon asked what she did next. She’d never have another opportunity, she was sure. She had to know.

“Why don’t you tell Shuhua that you love her back?”

She knew that Soojin had heard her, but the girl made no indication that Miyeon had even said something. They drove along the gravel path and then pulled up under a tree behind a couple of staff trucks. And then the car was parked and summarily shut off. This… this was real silence now. Nothing but the steady beating of Miyeon’s heart to break the monotony.

She took a chance and carefully looked over at Soojin.

The girl was sitting in the driver’s seat, staring out at the photoshoot stage they could barely see in the distance. Shuhua was probably over there. Her and a host of staff—lighting crew, staging crew, makeup artists, stylists, the photographer. It was probably mayhem.

But here, in this car, it was silent.

So Miyeon forged on, “You’re scared she doesn’t love you anymore, aren’t you?”

Soojin slowly turned her head so she was looking back at her. There was no expression on her face, but this time it felt like there was truly nothing there. Like she was a blank and empty canvas behind that mask.

And then she opened her mouth and said, “We’re here… Get out of my car.”

Miyeon didn’t know what she was expecting, but the response didn’t surprise her. But what she said next did. “You’d deserve it, you know. You did this.”

Instead of replying, Soojin sat back in her seat and pointedly unlocked the car doors.

Okay. Miyeon could take a hint.

But she couldn’t leave without making sure of one last thing.

“The pictures…” She started, unsure of how she should discuss that particular issue. But she needn’t have worried.

“I already deleted them back at the bar,” Soojin declared. “They’re all gone.”

It wasn’t so much relief Miyeon felt, as much as it was confirmation of what she’d sort of known all along. Soojin hadn’t intended to use the pictures at all. They were just the final bargaining chip she’d had left. And now they were all gone. Soojin had nothing now. No more strings to pull. Nothing.

And they both knew it.

So Miyeon decided it was time for her to leave. She opened the door and stepped out into the cool evening breeze. She shut the door behind her and felt like she was closing an entire chapter of her life. She felt good.

But she still had to go see Shuhua.

So, with a deep breath, she started walking towards the—

“Miyeon.”

The teacher stopped in her tracks and turned back around to see Soojin standing beside her car, looking imploring back at her.

“What?” Miyeon asked.

“Let her down easy… Please…”

Soojin didn’t look smug, she looked vulnerable. She’d dropped the mask one final time for a last-ditch effort in the post-game.

But Miyeon just shook her head.

“You don’t get a say in my relationship.”

And then she continued walking.

\------

Miyeon and Shuhua take a picture together.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well then, wasn't that um... nice?
> 
> lol y'all said you wanted the truth and here it is! you got it!   
> alright this is it, all the secrets are out now fam, who you got in your corner?
> 
> option a: sooshu  
> option b: mimin  
> option c: mishu  
> option d: yuyeon our precious little children who luckily survived this whole mess
> 
> P.S. sorry for being going so long. holidays + hwaa = not a lot of writing time :P  
> but we back


	15. Miyeon and Shuhua take a picture together

**_Chapter 15:_ **

Miyeon and Shuhua take a picture together.

\------

It was dark out.

The Dior crew had commandeered what looked to be a large mansion for the photoshoot. The house was lit with a dozen or so lights and that was just the outside of it. As Miyeon walked closer, she could see that there were teams of people spilling out of several open doors—moving this or that very important thing, going to this or that very important place.

No one really took notice of the teacher as she stepped over cables and stepped around tents full of equipment. Just when she was beginning to think that she’d make it in without anyone stopping her, a muscled hand did just that.

Miyeon looked up at the beast of a man attached to said arm and audibly gulped before she could stop herself. “H-hi…”

He raised an eyebrow in her direction and opened his mouth to no doubt throw her off the premises, but then a flash of recognition suddenly crossed his face. And he smiled.

“Oh you must be Miyeon, right?”

Miyeon blinked. And then nodded. “Yeah. How did you…?”

“I’m Gustav,” he introduced himself, flipping his hand over so that he was asking for a handshake now instead. Miyeon took his hand and felt like she was holding onto a fifty pound weight as they shook hands. “Shuhua showed me your picture—sorry for scaring you. Bit dark out now, wasn’t expecting you to get here so late.”

At one point in the afternoon, Miyeon hadn’t been expecting to get here at all. But she didn’t say that. Instead, she just smiled at him and wrapped her arms around herself once their vicious handshake ended. “Yeah, she mentioned you,” she said. And then she remembered exactly how her girlfriend had described him over text. Wait a second… “Aren’t you the photographer?”

“That’s me,” he said with a smile, reaching back to pat the camera that was slung over his shoulder. It looked tiny on his oversized frame—no wonder Miyeon hadn’t noticed it before. “We were actually just changing sets since we finally lost daylight,” he explained.

He gestured for Miyeon to walk alongside him and she followed as he led her deeper into the old colonial-style house. It was as busy inside as it was outside and Miyeon could see a crew member in every single room that they passed—and there were many. But the nexus of activity was clearly located in the large living room. Lights were raised high overhead, trained on various sections—a stylish couch, an interesting patch of the wall, a portrait of the very land that they were currently on dating back to its first owners.

Miyeon could imagine a model posing in each location and it didn’t take much for her to imagine how it might turn out in a high-end magazine.

All that was missing was the model.

“Shuhua’s getting her makeup touched up in the kitchen if you want to go see her,” Gustav went on. “We got maybe ten, fifteen minutes before the next shoot starts? And that shouldn’t take too long either—I tell you, your girlfriend’s one heck of a model,” he said with a chuckle. “Makes my job a million times easier.”

Miyeon stood on the edge of the living room and warily glanced in the direction she could tell the kitchen was. Gustav probably read the nerves on her face as a byproduct of her being in a strange environment. He gave her what was meant to be a friendly nudge and said, “She’ll be happy to see you, don’t worry. Been talking about you all day, that one.”

That didn’t make Miyeon feel any better.

But she nodded at the large photographer in thanks and carefully made her way through the living room. Once through the door on the other side, she saw the sprawling kitchen and a cluster of what had to be the makeup crew standing in the middle of it.

And the person they were preening over had to be Shuhua.

Miyeon took a deep breath and slowly approached the counter that separated the kitchen from the rest of the dining room. And the counter served as a much needed buffer for Miyeon. As she got closer, she saw Shuhua’s face. And then, not too long after that, Shuhua opened her eyes and saw her.

Shuhua smiled, large and happy.

“How did I know you were here? I just felt happier all of a sudden—I thought I was going crazy,” Shuhua said as she sat up in her chair. There was a fuss from the woman who was in the middle of drawing in her eyebrows, but Shuhua just laughed. “I don’t think I can sit still anymore, sorry,” the girl winsomely apologized. “My Miyeonnie is here, I’m sorry—Miyeonnie!”

Shuhua stretched her hand out across the counter, stretched out towards her. And that’s when the makeup crew finally took notice of the teacher. But instead of anger, they just glanced at each other with knowing smiles on their faces. They knew who she was because, as Gustav had testified, Shuhua had been talking about her all day.

The pit in Miyeon’s stomach grew, but still she stepped closer and took Shuhua’s proffered hand. The moment she did, Shuhua spun out of her chair and practically lunged across the counter so they were face-to-face.

“You’re finally here,” she whispered. And then she captured Miyeon’s lips in a kiss that was soon bordering on indecent. Miyeon didn’t have a chance to pull away, or rather… she didn’t have the strength to pull away. Shuhua’s storm was still as effective as ever, drawing her in at a moment’s notice—uncaring for any reservations she might have had.

When Shuhua finally pulled away, she giggled along with the crew who were waiting behind her. Miyeon saw her face fully for the first time that day, half made-up and missing a lot of her pink lipstick. She looked as beautiful as ever. And happy.

“You look silly,” Miyeon whispered in the space between them, not trusting her voice to carry much further than that.

“You should see your mouth,” Shuhua retorted, biting her lip as her gaze drifted down to Miyeon’s own. “My lipstick on you like that—you look good. Beautiful, you know?” And then her eyes flitted back up until their gazes were locked. “You’re so unfair, Miyeonnie—looking like that.”

It was like a jolt to Miyeon’s system being faced by the amount of emotion that she saw in Shuhua’s eyes. She’d been grasping at straws with Soojin, trying to eke out any hint of the girl’s true feelings, but here Miyeon didn’t even have to try. Shuhua gave it all so easily to her—overwhelmed her with it. Her happiness, her joy… her love—

Miyeon looked away first, her eyes dropping down to their joined hands on the counter.

“Can I… can we talk, please?”

There was a beat of silence, and then Miyeon felt Shuhua’s lips press up against the side of her head. “Of course.”

And then Shuhua was back on her feet, turned towards the staff as she excused herself. Miyeon didn’t hear a word of what she said, really. Instead, her eyes stayed focused on their hands on the counter. Shuhua’s hand still gripping her own, refusing to let go.

\--

As big as the house was, they weren’t able to get much privacy.

Shuhua took her through a hallway and past a few bedrooms until finally they were sitting at the bottom of a rear staircase that led up to the second floor. They could hear footsteps moving back and forth just above them and the hallway they’d passed was strewn with staff members who were making use of the short break to chill out a bit.

They weren’t alone, but Miyeon knew this was as good as it was going to get.

Shuhua sat down on the carpeted step, tugging at Miyeon’s hand until the teacher was standing between her legs. Miyeon didn’t look at her face, instead she looked at her outfit.

“This is nice,” she said, fingering at the collar of the striped blouse that Shuhua wore. It was something far more patterned than Miyeon would ever wear, but it suited the other girl well. “It’s very… you.” She wasn’t stalling, really. She was just… She had no idea how to do this. And the more time she spent around Shuhua, the more she fell into her storm. And Miyeon knew she couldn’t afford to let that happen. Not now.

“I like it too,” Shuhua replied. “I’ll ask Gustav to give it to me after we’re done. Since you like it so much.” Her face split into a grin that drew Miyeon’s attention next. “Or maybe I’ll steal it. Don’t tell him, okay?”

“Don’t… Don’t steal.”

“Okay. I won’t.”

“… Good.” Miyeon’s eyes dropped back to the outfit, and then down to their joined hands. She couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Look at me, Miyeonnie.”

The teacher let out a shaky breath, but then she obediently raised her head till their eyes met. She wondered what emotions Shuhua saw looking back at her. She wondered what it was that made her smile slowly disappear.

“Soojin gave you a ride,” The younger girl stated, swallowing visibly. “How was it?”

Miyeon took a deep breath in and then slowly let it out. “We talked.”

“Oh? That’s good… What about?”

“About you.”

Miyeon watched as a slew of emotions played out over Shuhua’s face. Most were too fast for her to catch. But she saw the swell of… trepidation that blossomed. Shuhua blinked a few too many times and in her eyes there was something sharper than Miyeon was used to seeing.

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

There was a thud from upstairs and Miyeon glanced up to see two crewmembers carrying a fancy chair towards the stairs they were currently sitting on. One of the crew noticed them talking and his mouth opened into an ‘O’ of surprise. He stopped in his tracks and shot them a small wink and a teasing smile. Then he tapped the shoulder of the guy he was carrying the chair with. There was some loud grumbling in response, but soon the two guys were walking away towards the main staircase instead—leaving Shuhua and Miyeon in relative silence.

Shuhua hadn’t looked back once. Her gaze stayed fixed on Miyeon the entire time.

“Soojin doesn’t talk much,” the younger girl quietly said. “But she’s… you two are the most important people in my life.”

Miyeon sighed. “Shuhua—”

“And I… I just…” Shuhua’s grip on their hands tightened and Miyeon could feel the tiny tremors that went through them. Now she was starting to see something else in the younger girl’s eyes too. And it looked like fear. “I shouldn’t have hidden her from you. I shouldn’t have…” Miyeon watched as Shuhua licked her suddenly dry lips. “I made mistakes, Miyeonnie. I wanted to be as sweet and good and, and as perfect as you deserved—that’s all I wanted. I swear. That’s all I wanted,” Shuhua repeated, staring beseechingly up at her. “And I failed. I know that. That’s why you broke up with me before and now, you…” Shuhua suddenly closed her eyes. She shook her head a little, almost as if trying to shake something out of her head. And then she took a deep breath and opened her eyes again. “I know I don’t deserve you… but I want to. More than anything, I swear—I promise you, _I promise_ … I want to be good enough to deserve you Miyeonnie.”

Miyeon felt her heartstrings ache as she listened to Shuhua’s earnest plea. She knew that the younger girl had realized what kind of conversation this was by now. They both knew what this was. But that didn’t make it any easier.

Miyeon had to swallow past a lump in her throat as she mustered up a reply, “I believe you.”

She saw hope dawn bright and free on Shuhua’s face—and it hurt her so much more to know that she had to be the one to kill it. But she had to.

“I know you want to change,” Miyeon continued. “But it’s not for me… and it’s not for you.” She felt her lips tremble as she stared into Shuhua’s too bright, too free eyes. And then the first tear fell down Miyeon’s cheek. “You’re doing it for her.”

It was like watching glass shatter right in front of her eyes. That was the only way to describe what happened to Shuhua. What little hope she’d found had been violently ripped away from her. Suddenly and irreparably so. Her brows furrowed in a mixture of confusion and pain. “I’m… no.”

“You are, you… I know everything, Shuhua,” Miyeon revealed in a rush of air. Her voice wavered as she spoke. “I know why you started dating me, I know why you came back after we broke up, I know why—why you think you have to be perfect around me, but—”

“No, you don’t,” Shuhua heatedly insisted. “All of that…” She shook her head in denial, finally looking away from Miyeon’s face. As if she no longer had the strength to look her in the eye. Her gaze could only rise to a point past the teacher’s shoulder. “Whatever Soojin told you—that’s not who I am. She doesn’t know who I am.”

“Then tell me,” Miyeon fired back.

She knew it wasn’t in her best interests to prolong this conversation. The more they talked, the more chances she gave the other girl to talk her way back into her good graces. Miyeon wanted to believe that she could hold firm, but history told her that she’d never been very good at telling Shuhua no.

But giving Shuhua a chance to defend herself… wasn’t that the right thing to do?

She watched as the girl slowly lifted her head until they were once again staring into each other’s eyes.

Or was this just the proof of Soojin’s plan in action? Because yes, Miyeon could see it too, she always had—how much potential Shuhua had.

“Tell me who you really are, Yeh Shuhua,” Miyeon whispered, forcing the words across the space in between them. And then she forced herself to say the words she had to. “Because from what I can see… ” She forced herself to draw a line in the sand. To make a stand for what she wanted for once. “From what I can see, you don’t deserve my trust. And I can’t… I can’t be with someone like that.” She pulled her hands away from Shuhua’s own, and wrapped them around herself. “I can’t be with you anymore.”

Pain.

That was the only thing she could see on Shuhua’s face. Writ large and clear in her glassy eyes, in her trembling lips, in her rosy cheeks. The half-finished makeup made her look even more disheveled, like she was breaking apart at the seams.

And when the first tear fell from Shuhua’s eyes, Miyeon couldn’t bear to look at her any longer.

The teacher shifted back, moving out of Shuhua’s reach—but the younger girl stopped her before she could get too far. A pale hand shot out and grasped her arm, and Miyeon was forced to look back at her.

Shuhua was standing now, taller than her usual few inches due to the higher step she was on. But the girl quickly closed the distance, stepping down and stepping forward into Miyeon’s space. Bringing them right in front of each other.

Shuhua spoke quietly through her tears, “I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything.” She peered beseechingly down at Miyeon. “Everything, I promise,” she heatedly whispered. “Everything you want to hear—I’ll give you everything you want. I’ll show you who I am, Miyeon.” And then she smiled shakily, reaching out her other hand to softly caress Miyeon’s hair. “Me, Yeh Shuhua… the girl who lo—”

Miyeon shut her eyes.

She knew what this was. And she didn’t trust herself to be able to process it responsibly. Not while looking at the achingly sweet and devastatingly sad eyes of the girl in front of her. Maybe if she only heard it… Maybe hearing it would dull the blow.

“No, please, please look at me,” Shuhua’s voice whispered.

“Shuhua, don’t do this,” Miyeon pleaded.

“Please…”

Miyeon shook her head. And Shuhua shifted even closer—close enough that it felt like Miyeon was surrounded by her heat, by her presence.

It was overwhelming.

“Oh Shuhua, there you are!” A loud voice suddenly called out, cutting through the tense air.

Miyeon’s eyes flew open and she caught a glimpse of Gustav’s large frame standing in the hallway before she quickly turned away. Her eyes were brimming with tears now and she tried to blink them away.

But Shuhua recovered first. The younger girl took a step towards Gustav, effectively blocking Miyeon from sight. That gave the teacher a chance to discreetly wipe her tears away, but Shuhua had no such grace.

And she didn’t even try to cover up.

“We’re ready for you in…” Gustav trailed off as he undoubtedly caught sight of his model’s blotchy and tear-stained face. “Is everything okay over here?” He carefully asked.

Miyeon sniffed and turned to face him as well, trying her best to show a brave face. “Sorry, we’re just—”

“No, everything is not okay,” Shuhua declared, letting out a dry chuckle. “Not right now, Gustav, I’m sorry.”

“Oh…” Gustav warily glanced between the two of them. From the look on his face, he was worried and understandably so. Shuhua’s appearance and words had thrown him off, leaving him confused and unsure. “Is… Is there anything I can—”

“No. This is my fault, right Miyeon?” Shuhua inclined her head in the teacher’s direction, but didn’t look back at her. “So I should fix it. That’s what I have to do.”

Gustav eyes shifted over to regard Miyeon, trying to decipher just what kind of situation he’d walked in on. But the teacher looked away, embarrassed at how open Shuhua was right now—how much she could share so freely without thought or hesitation. Even at a time like this.

Especially in a situation like this. Shuhua always did what she wanted. That fact had never changed. And though Soojin had pushed the girl through an inhumanly oppressive gauntlet—the will to go through with it had still resided within Shuhua.

She’d wanted to please Soojin. So she’d hurt Miyeon. Time and time again.

“If you give me some time, I’ll fix things,” Shuhua solemnly said to Gustav. The girl belatedly wiped at her face and chuckled when she saw the remnants of her makeup on her hand. “I’m a mess right now… I’m sorry, Gustav—I just need…”

“Okay.” He nodded, eyes soft and full of understanding. “Come when you’re ready.”

And then he left.

And Miyeon was left staring at Shuhua’s back.

She couldn’t see her face, but from what she _could_ see… her shoulders slumped, her head hung in accordance.

This wasn’t the Shuhua she knew at all.

And it made sense that Miyeon couldn’t recognize her now—the Shuhua she knew took every problem head on, was always the first to speak up, never hid. She never hid. But that’s exactly what the girl in front of her was doing now. Hiding her face from her.

So Miyeon took the reins this time.

“How?” She asked.

Shuhua didn’t move an inch, but after a few seconds had passed she replied, “How…?”

“How are you going to fix this?”

Shuhua didn’t move at first. But then she did.

Her shoulders came up almost of their own accord and her back straightened into something resembling her usual confidence. She was piecing herself back together before Miyeon’s very eyes. But she still couldn’t _see_ her eyes.

“Look at me,” Miyeon ordered. Her voice was low and quiet, but it crossed the distance between them. “Look at me and tell me how…” Miyeon bit her lip as she wrapped her arms around herself. “When something goes wrong, you find a way to fix it, right? You and Soojin… So tell me your secrets.”

Shuhua suddenly whipped around to face her, eyes blazing with something—but not anger. Frustration, maybe? Her makeup had smeared where she’d wiped it, dirtying her perfect model face.

And Miyeon kept pushing because she had nothing else to lose. This was it.

“Don’t you think I deserve the truth—at least this once?”

“I’ve never, _ever_ lied to you,” Shuhua growled out.

“But you hurt me,” Miyeon fired back, not entertaining the girl’s claims for even a second. “With the things you _didn’t_ tell me. With the way you _manipulated_ me—”

“I didn’t—”

“And you don’t see how wrong it was! Still! You don’t see it!” Miyeon finally yelled, her arms uncrossing in a rush and her hands fisting angrily at her sides. She stomped too, but the carpeted hallway muffled any sounds her feet may have made. But her voice would not be denied. “You’re not stupid, you’re not blind, so what? Why would you think what you did was okay?”

“… I’m sorry.”

Miyeon shook her head. “You’re not.”

“No, I am. You’re right, I hurt you and I’m so sorry, Miyeon—”

“Stop!” Miyeon shouted, her hands flying up to her aching temples. “I don’t need your sorry, I don’t want it!” She clenched her eyes shut. “I don’t want it,” she repeated, more to herself than anything.

Shuhua’s brows furrowed. “Then what else can I tell you?” She sounded perplexed, very near defeated.

Miyeon’s eyes flew open and she glared daggers at the younger girl. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll think of _something_ —”

“Miyeon, please.”

And something in Shuhua’s voice cooled some of the anger swirling inside the teacher. Was it the way the younger girl still hadn’t raised her voice despite how heated their argument had gotten? Was it Miyeon’s undying curiosity rearing its ugly head at the worst possible moment?

Or was it just Shuhua?

It was just… her.

God fucking damn it.

Why couldn’t Miyeon just tell her no? Just. No.

She’d exited Soojin’s car filled with conviction and determination. And every step she’d taken since then had chipped away at that mountain. And now all Shuhua had to do was say please…

“No,” Miyeon shook her head, angry at herself now. And then that anger too soon faded. And she was just exhausted. “No, why… why do you get to do this to me? Again?”

Shuhua didn’t answer, but she did take a step closer.

“No,” Miyeon said again, trying in vain to ward off her advances. But how could she stop the inevitable? Really, was it any use even trying? “If you were really sorry, you’d leave me alone,” Miyeon forced out through her clenched teeth. “Why can’t you do that? Just… let me forget you. Please.”

Shuhua stopped inches in front of her.

Miyeon glared up at her, willing herself not to actually just break down where she stood. She needed to do this. Why couldn’t she just do this—

“Because I love you,” Shuhua confessed.

And… fuck.

Miyeon didn’t want to hear it. So instead she forced herself to think about life outside of their little secluded hallway. There wasn’t as much chatter as before, and she could only assume that the rest of the crew were all waiting in the living room. Ready to do the next shoot, but missing their model. And they’d probably heard enough of their argument to get the gist of what was going on.

Gustav was perhaps trying to take the attention off of them or keep the crew as far out of earshot as possible. But the damage had probably already been done. What would that mean for Shuhua’s career, Miyeon wondered? This was the kind of thing that word-of-mouth could blow up in a few days, or even hours. Were Shuhua’s manager and Soojin out there right now, trying to stop people from talking about it online?

Did Shuhua even care?

Miyeon watched the emotion flicker in Shuhua’s eyes. Captivated by the strength and depth of it all, even now. Even after Miyeon had come out swinging at her, with the intent to cut herself away from it for good.

Miyeon didn’t want this.

She didn’t want Shuhua’s love.

“I can’t leave you and I don’t want you to forget me. Because I love you, Miyeon,” Shuhua softly declared. Her hands came up to cradle Miyeon’s face and the teacher wanted to pull herself away, but she couldn’t. Like everything she’d wanted to do, she just… couldn’t. “And I don’t know how to fix this. That’s the truth,” she admitted. “So this is all I can say and hope… I hope that you’ll give me another chance.”

Miyeon shook her head, but it held no conviction. She could do nothing to stop Shuhua. She never could.

“I’ll work hard—”

“No, please just—”

“—And I’ll be the person you deserve, Miyeonnie,” Shuhua went on, voice filled with emotion. “I love you so much, _so much_ … And I promise… I’ll be everything you want me to be.”

Miyeon opened her mouth to try and push back, to try and reject her. But not a single sound came out. Instead, her bottom lip started trembling. And before Miyeon knew it or could fully understand it, she was crying.

Tears rolled down her cheeks, faster and with more urgency as time went on. But she didn’t feel sad or angry, she just felt… frustrated.

Frustrated at Shuhua for making her feel like this.

Frustrated at herself for letting herself get trapped in this situation.

“I…” The words just wouldn’t come.

Shuhua’s fingers came up to her cheeks and softly tried to brush the tears away. But there were far too many for her to handle. So instead, the girl leaned in and tried to kiss them away.

“Don’t cry, please,” Shuhua murmured, holding her like a precious doll. “Please… I love you. Please don’t cry…”

“I… hate you…”

The words fell brokenly from Miyeon’s lips, but Shuhua definitely heard them.

The younger girl froze in place, lips hovering near Miyeon’s cheek. And the silence between them grew until they could start to hear the sounds of the crew from the living room. Shuhua shifted on her feet, moving back so she could properly look at Miyeon’s face. And there was a question in her eyes that Miyeon had no choice but to answer.

Because somehow she’d found the strength to answer just this one question.

“So much…” Miyeon went on, her voice small but firm. “I hate you so much.”

Shuhua’s breath hitched and she forced her eyes closed, her brows furrowing in pain. “You don’t mean that—”

“No, I do.” Miyeon shook her head, brushing away a few tears in frustration. “I really, really do.” And maybe it was because Shuhua had her eyes closed—hiding away from Miyeon yet again—that the teacher found the strength to keep going. “More than Soojin, more than—more than everything that you did—it’s you. It’s just you and I hate… I hate how helpless you make me feel,” she confessed. “I hate how much I let you get away with. I hate how I can’t say no to you and I _hate_ —do you know how terrible I feel?” She suddenly asked, pushing against Shuhua’s chest in a small outburst of anger.

The younger girl opened her eyes then and reluctantly met Miyeon’s gaze.

“Do you know… that I don’t know who I am when I’m with you…” Miyeon fisted her hand in Shuhua’s blouse, probably damaging the expensive fabric, but she didn’t care.

She stepped right into the younger girl’s orbit—because what choice did she have? Since she couldn’t stay away, then fine. She’d go right to the source. And for the first time all day, Shuhua looked like she wanted Miyeon far, far away.

“And you think I want more of this? Of not knowing who I trust less—you, for your pretty face and pretty lies? Or me, for never learning from my mistakes?” Miyeon stared up at the girl, searching her face for something, but she didn’t even know what. “And maybe that’s love... I don’t trust myself when I’m with you, so why not call it love?” Miyeon let out an empty chuckle.

And then, to prove her point, she suddenly leaned in and pressed a kiss to Shuhua’s lips. But Shuhua didn’t kiss back, because she knew that this was more of a rebuke than a sign of affection.

Miyeon pulled away and wiped away the last of her tears.

“So what if you love me, Shuhua? Hmm? So fucking what?” Miyeon scowled at that pretty face. “ _I love you too and I hate it_.”

The words rang out in the empty hallway, echoing back to them where they stood. If anyone were to walk in on them now—without knowing anything that had happened, but just seeing them together like that… _What a beautiful couple,_ someone might think. Shuhua’s arms were still holding Miyeon in her embrace, lovingly and with care. And Miyeon’s hands clung onto Shuhua’s clothes, tethering them firmly together.

_We make a beautiful couple_ —they’d both thought at one point or another.

And they were in love. That much was clear.

No matter how much Miyeon wanted to deny hers or Shuhua’s feelings, they were there. But if love was all it took for a relationship to work, then they wouldn’t be where they were right now. They wouldn’t be at the end.

“It’s not…” Shuhua took a shaky breath in and then hung her head. She took a long moment to compose herself and then looked back up at Miyeon. And she quietly spoke, “It’s not what you want to hear… but can you let me be selfish, just one more time?” Her lips pulled into an empty smile. “You love me…? Just one more time, I just want to hear it again... Please?”

Miyeon noticed how dull Shuhua’s eyes looked. Like all the fight had been taking out of them. And seeing that made her less resistant to the younger girl’s request. She would’ve said it again anyway, but somehow Miyeon knew that this was it. For real this time.

It was over.

“I love you, Yeh Shuhua,” Miyeon softly declared. The words felt bitter on her lips and far too easy for the amount of emotional turmoil they represented. But she said it.

Shuhua nodded in response, hanging her head again. When she finally looked back up, the dam had completely broken. She was crying. But she still sounded as confident as ever as she replied, “I love you too, Cho Miyeon… And I’m sorry. For everything.”

They didn’t move from that spot for a while. They stayed wrapped in each other, wrapped in the pain that they’d caused. Because they knew that letting go would mean it was real.

To know that it was over was…

Miyeon didn’t know how to feel. She’d imagined a feeling of freedom, of letting go of a heavy burden, of happiness.

But she didn’t feel any of that. Maybe she would tomorrow.

She really hoped so.

\--

Shuhua’s post went up the next day.

It was a picture of her back, of her standing in that hallway in that old house. She was wearing the outfit the stylists had picked out for her. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders like how they would in any of her high-fashion shoots.

But her face was hidden from the camera.

Which was ultimately for the best because her makeup had been ruined beyond repair and no kind words could’ve stopped the flow of tears down her face.

And in the picture she was holding someone, tightly but with a sense of impending loss. Her fans would have no way of knowing who was with her though. The arms wrapped around her waist were devoid of any accessories and Shuhua was tall enough to completely block her companion from view.

And the caption on the picture didn’t let on much either. But it did cause her fans to leave many words of comfort in the comments.

_‘if a picture could tell a thousand words, it still wouldn’t be enough_

_and in the end, it wasn’t enough_

_hoping for the day when love tastes sweeter than this_

_i’ll be a better model_

_one day’_

\--

Miyeon saw Shuhua’s post.

The final picture that the girl had asked her to take with her before she left. Her fingers hovered over the like button, but she didn’t click it. Instead she stared at the picture for the rest of her lunch break. And when the bell rang and her kids walked into her class, she put away her phone.

For the rest of the week she looked at the same post at least twice a day.

They did look good together.

\--

“… and if you do leave the house, don’t forget your key, okay? I don’t want a repeat of what happened last time… Miyeon?”

The teacher looked up from where she was sitting on the couch, nursing a bowl of ramen. Soyeon was standing by the door, bag slung over shoulder, keys in hand and ready to go. But she’d stopped before leaving for her song camp. She had a look of concern on her face as she regarded Miyeon’s slumped posture.

So Miyeon straightened up and smiled to try and reassure her. It didn’t work.

“Are you just going to be moping around all night again?” Soyeon asked directly.

“I’m not moping,” Miyeon denied, but even she knew that she didn’t sound too convincing. “I haven’t checked her account in at least three hours now,” she pointed out. “That’s progress.”

“Right…” Soyeon flipped the keys in her hand as she contemplated. Finally, she offered, “We can go see a movie if you want? Or maybe go out to eat somewhere?”

Miyeon appreciated her roommate’s attempt at getting her out of her funk, she really did. But she knew she couldn’t rely on her forever. So she shook her head. “You’ve been avoiding song camp for weeks. Go, go do music producer things.”

“Fine… But Minnie still sucks, though.”

“Sure,” Miyeon chuckled. “Go tell her that.”

Soyeon nodded. “I will. ” But then she screwed up her mouth in thought. And then she delicately offered, “Or… you can come tell her for me…?”

Miyeon stared back at the girl for a moment. And she seriously considered the proposition. But it didn’t take her very long to realize that that option just wasn’t on the cards right now. She wasn’t ready. And honestly, she didn’t know how long it would take for her to be ready—or if she ever would be.

“I don’t think so,” Miyeon said, with a gentle smile. “But I hope you have fun. And ask Yuqi how her test went, I know you said she was worried about it.”

“She was,” Soyeon acknowledged. And then her brows furrowed in thought. “Do you think I should get her something? Like a cake?”

“Maybe. She’d probably like that.”

“Okay.” Soyeon nodded and turned towards the door. She looked more distracted than before which made Miyeon smile at her roommate’s sudden change in behavior. “Oh wait,” Soyeon turned back one last time. “Don’t forgot your keys if you leave the hou—”

“Shut up already!” Miyeon yelled out in complaint, laughing despite herself.

Soyeon smirked, obviously pleased that her teasing had worked. And then the girl finally waved goodbye. “See you later, Ramyeon.”

“See ya.”

And then Miyeon was alone.

She placed her bowl on the coffee table, finished for now. And she looked at her phone on the couch beside her. She knew what she would do the second she unlocked it—she’d go on Instagram, and she’d go to that account, and she’d look at that last picture from a few weeks ago. Nothing new had been uploaded since then and Miyeon didn’t know how she’d feel if there was.

She picked up her phone, but didn’t unlock it yet. She just stared at it in her hands.

She pressed the home button and saw the time. 8:58 pm.

Oh.

In just a few minutes, it would be at least _four_ hours since she’d last checked the account.

Four hours. She’d never made it that far before—not counting the hours when she was sleeping. And that thought stopped her from further unlocking her phone. She was curious now and she wondered what it would feel like. Four hours. She wondered if she could make it.

And so there she stayed, very still and very quiet as she watched the time go by.

One minute.

And then two. Then three.

9:01 pm.

She’d made it past four hours.

Maybe it was the thrill of the sudden challenge, but Miyeon felt… a strange sense of satisfaction. It was such a small action, but it felt mightier the longer she thought about it. And another thought suddenly came to her—could she make it to five hours?

Maybe. But she’d need to find something to do in the meantime…

“I could draw something…”

She hadn’t drawn outside of school in… way too long. For at least a year now probably. Wow. Okay, she should draw then.

“Just for a little bit…”

But just a little bit lasted a lot longer than she thought. And so that’s where she was as the time crossed into the fifth hour and then the sixth. She didn’t think much about her phone or her classes or her friends or anyone.

But she finally started to feel that happiness that she’d been longing for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, it's finally over huh :')
> 
> thank you to everyone who read this wild, crazy little fic that could  
> i've loved reading every single one of your comments and it makes me so happy to see you guys identifying with the characters so much
> 
> if you laughed, cried, got so upset you wanted to curse me out, i salute you all haha  
> until next time
> 
> p.s. last chance to scream at me in the comments, go go go!

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, this one's been in development for a while so I'm p excited to finally start rolling it out  
> a word of warning: it's going to be a Wild ride  
> also come shout at me on the bird app (@jjabajas)
> 
> Wow, Shuhua's like the perfect girlfriend, isn't she?
> 
> Drop your thoughts/feelings down below :)


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